got HOPE/advice for a 47 yr. old?

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Hello Wrong Planet people:

I am 47 years old and only recently diagnosed with Aspergers. I've done a lot of reading about it on the web and unfortunately what TO DO about it is all geared towards parents and children.

Although I am glad that now at least I understand WHY my life has unfolded the way it has - I'm thinking it's a little too late for me to...what? Catch Up?

NOW that too many mistakes have been made, that this syndrome has cost me ALL of my relationships - that all the information in the world can't help me "get a life" because I lack the tools and can't get any appropriate help - (don't meet the criteria financially for any state funded programs) - now, after 5 1/2 years of trying (and failing miserably) to rebuild my life after leaving my husband and my only child's suicide...and three decades of misdiagnoses - (I've had close to a dozen psychiatric diagnoses) and people attributing my problems to a moral deficit - WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW?

I AM SO ALONE and SCARED - I really, really need a few friends...can YOU help me out? THANK YOU so much for responding...

No magic cure, but the best thing you can do is learn as much about the disability as possible. I have it too and I was only diagnosed in 2005. I made it a point to learn about all the symptoms (of which I have most of them) and then try to consciously abate them. Some are easier than others, but I'm trying.

I'm sorry to hear about your child's suicide. That must have been horrible for you. There is a good chance that your child was also an aspie - which may have been a factor in his/her final decision.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

With an accurate diagnosis, you may now have a better idea how to rebuild your life, one step at a time. Many people with Aspergers share similar problems--sometimes the work arounds or adaptations that work for other people may work for you as well. There are some things we, as a rule, just can't handle, and should be avoided, if at all possible. Working as a cashier at a McDonalds is a definite "DO NOT." We just can't handle the social interaction and buzz.

Social jobs are easy for me because the interaction is only superficial.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Welcome. Your life sounds pretty tough so far. I hope you find this place helps

Dear Wanderer62:

Thank you for sharing your experiences, I was moved by what you wrote and found several similarities in our experiences. I also am 47 and recently (about 7 months ago) was diagnosed with severe PTSD and mild-moderate Autistic Disorder. My Dr. and therapist worked together and explained, I have a delay in cognition and speech. I'm not as high functioning as those with Asperger's. I had previously been misdiagnosed with OCD. At 47 years of age, I have outlived most everyone who ever cared for me or loved me appropriately. I know the hurt and confusion of 'what happens to me now'. I've felt the abandon of family members who found it too difficult to deal with, "the way I am". I don't think I can advise you in a detailed way, but I hope I can relay some message that might be helpful.

I thank God everyday for my mentor, my father who adopted me into his life. My Dad became part of my life 9 years ago and I couldn't be here without him. I chat a few hours daily with him. He lives a few minutes away if I need help. He advises me, keeps me focused, and grounded. I know one day I have to make it alone, completely by myself. I'm preparing for that. I don't want to hold on to material things as much as I want to hold on to peace of mind. I don't have income or work but I go to school. I love it, it's not easy, I cry (a lot at home, only once in a school office), and I feel wonderful when i do complicated assignments correctly. Generally, few people speak to me, but I don't mind that. I like calm and quiet. I keep letting go of the things I was taught were important but really aren't. So far, I've let go of everything but my mind. I hold on to the health of my mind, not the 'things' that will one day be considered useless junk and outlive me. I hold on to college classes and not all the 'what ifs'. I hold on to my adopted Dad (while I still can) and not the abuse and pain I was raised in. Alone in a quiet place is scary at first, but eventually, you find out, it's good and actually helpful. I don't want to rebuild my old life, it didn't work the first time. I work toward building something better. I'm now more informed in who I am, and what works and doesn't work for me. The people I've lost and still think about, they're all looking down and happy I found a way to look at my circumstance and hold on. I hope this also for you. Keep hanging on to all the things that are right and you'll find the way that works for you. Know it, and it'll happen.

Best Wishes

Welcome to the Wrong Planet forums, Wanderer62.

Greetings and welcome to WP! I only found out a couple of years ago that I was an AS person and I'm 65 now. This is a good place to really learn about all of the aspects of being AS. We are all the same, but also different in many ways. It helps to know that there are others like you out here and that many of us have managed to make it through a career and into retirement. Relationships however, are another matter. I think that many of us find this to be the most difficult area. I've lost count of how many I've been through. It's perhaps one of the hardest things about being AS. Just remember that here on WP you have a lot of friends who are more than willing to help you in any way they can. We understand and we care.

Wow, very to hear about your kid's suicide... that must have been nearly unbearable. I really respect you for trying to pick yourself up and move on with your life, however unthinkably hard that might seem. It's truly a testament to the innate ability of our minds to deal with awful circumstances, and just remember every day that your son/daughter would have wanted the absolute best for you, no matter what. I'm also happy you finally got the diagnosis you didn't know you were looking for all these years, and hope that you can now feel better knowing there is a physiological explanation for your pain. Best of luck to you and keep us updated.