What do you want in a mate?

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Well, for me, as a guy, I look for four things in girls:

1. Must be a hardcore Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14)
2. Must have some sense of modesty (I just don't like loose women)
3. Must at least be able to tolerate sports and video games (More for their sake than mine, because that's all they'll be hearing pretty much )
4. Must be at least semi-intelligent.

If that offends anyone, I'm sorry.

What do you guys look for in a mate?

That I'm attracted to them.

Other stuff, stupidity, immature, Christian etc would automaticaly make them unnattractive to me so It's really the only rule that stands.

1. I'm attracted to him
2. He's not a lying and/or cheating a**hole.
3. He'll have to accept that we won't have sex right away.
4. No criminal record/STD's
5. Can actually be brought home to the family. He doesn't have to like them but at least fake that he does.
6. Can tolerate my mood swings. He doesn't have to be spineless but he can't be yelling at me every time I'm having a meltdown.

That's about it. *holds up flame shield* Just in case.

1 Attraction
2 Humour
3 Intelligence
4 Atheist or non-practicing religious
5 A few shared interests (non-specific, we don't have to share everything)

^this.

though i bent rule #4 and married a semi-christian. we have some spectacular debates!

1) chemistry
2) compatibility
3) mutual respect
4) we can rely on/trust each other as well as each other's judgment
5) we can put up with each other's crap.

Any more specific than that and I'm stuck dating what looks good on paper rather than trying to find out what really works. I've had enough first and last dates with girls who had most of the same interests to know that its a lot more involved.

Other than that there may be a few small details like I couldn't date a leftist or religious fundamentalist (that's partly redundant IMO) but other than that - not a lot that I can think of for now.

I want someone who is logical, rational, & NOT very emotional kind of like a Vulcan or an android woman

My Top 5 qualities would be:

(1) Highly intelligent - bordering on brilliant
(2) Passionate about life while still being compassionate about people (ethics)
(3) Tenacity - someone who hangs in there even when the going gets tough
(4) Trustworthiness and loyalty beyond reproach as evidenced by a proven track record of such decorum and behavior
(5) Self-awareness - probably the same as self- knowledge - someone who knows the good, the bad and the ugly about oneself

All of these qualities are equally important so the order does not show how I rank them.

I think any man who embodies these attributes would be a modern day maverick Renaissance Man. Does he exist?

Must have sufficiently intact critical thinking skills to understand that my status as a non-Cannibal doesn't mean that I'm a Bad Person, nor that I would advocate having a lifestyle of the likes of the Marquis de Sade.

Must like me. What does that mean? I can't say, because I don't know what others are supposed to see. She either sees it or she doesn't.

I used to think that having common interests in science-y stuff would be nice, but I'm not specifically looking for this any more. I do enough work at work, and these days I'd rather leave it at the lab.

I take good care of myself and I expect the same. If she stinks because she smokes or doesn't take showers, I wouldn't like that.

Last edited by sgrannel on 06 Sep 2010, 9:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I had a really long list or requirements for a man: smarter than me (I was so tired of the idiots I went to HS with), a devout Christian, stable, going to college to become a professional, no drugs, coming from a good family, respectful, comfortable to be around, loyal, and probably some more I don't remember any more. One date with the guy that fit that and I told my sister I was marrying him if he asked me, and she laughed heartily. She had already been engaged a few times and broke them off. I was the one that never got asked out. Anyway, here we are 38 years later. I never had to worry about him leaving me when my kidneys had failed and our violent autistic child was her worst and he was in postgraduate school and life was miserable. Our five kids are out of the house and most of them are sorta normal and we are happy with each other. We laugh a lot and just enjoy being together.

1. Decent musical taste. Girls my age nearly always have poor, POOR taste, in my opinion.
2. Of course, moderately to highly intelligent.
3. Atheist / Agnostic / Buddhist or something along those lines.
4. Decent taste in clothes and art. Whatever happened to lovely long skirts? Or appreciation for art that is something other than Tim Burton / other seemingly "creepy" art / film. (It's not creepy to me, just annoying.)
5. And of course, as long as I'm physically attracted to them by some degree. She does not have to be an exotic beauty by any means. But as arrogant as it sounds I don't believe I could have a fruitful relationship with a very overweight / unfortunately ugly person

I hope this does not sound arrogant, or offend anyone.

-Crow

i want to emphasize that this says attraction and not attractiveness, which i really respect, Mark198423! i think attraction between two humans does not require a specific sort of beauty or handsomeness necessarily.

personally, i have liked men who had an unusual look (according to what is popular with the masses). or i didn't even find them 'attractive' from the get-go, but once i got to know them the chemistry built up like a bonfire!

i think when people are too specific picky with people they first encounter, they are being really self-limiting as to their opportunities.

-Must like me and I must like them(otherwise I doubt the relationship will work).

-Must have some similar interest(Id like to expend sometime doing something I like every now and then and if Im in a relationship it would be a far more enjoyable experience is the other person is doing things with mr and most importantly enjoying them).

-Must understand that I have some quirks and that my personality is not likely to change no matter what they do.

-Must have some sort of intelligence. Doesnt have to be much but Id like to be able to talk to her about some books and stuff every now and then and it would be far more enjoyable if she had her own point of view in things and it made sense.


-It would help if they werent religious or planning to get married(wasnt baptismed as a child and Im not really into religion but if theres a huge need to get married and I enjoy being with this person I can get baptismed )

someone who bathes regularly and often
uses deodorant
not obese
not republican
not psychopathic
is reasonably fit
is reasonably kind
who likes music in general
with a broad sense of good humor
trustworthy
compassionate
non-traditional
and wants me over anybody else

a long list for sure, but when i'm 80 and doddering, i'm sure it will be whittled down to the essential quality:

breathing.

Last edited by auntblabby on 07 Sep 2010, 3:59 am, edited 1 time in total.