How can an aspie be a parent?

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How can an aspie be a parent? I know that if it was me, I couldn't handle the stress of dealing with a child. I could not stand to bear the consistent screaming that would go on for quite some time, which is typical whether or not the child is NT or not. Babies, for example, cry constantly, and that would really drive me insane. Besides that, children and babies tend to need a lot of time. It would all just be too overwhelming.

Now, I don't see myself as having severe sensory disturbances, but there's those persistent noises that will set me off. A baby crying in a continuous mode is one of them. Yet, there are those aspies whom are married and do care for children.

How is that possible? Or do these types basically let their spouses do much of the overwhelming work? It just does not seem fair to me.

- Ray M -

Actually, my child rarely cried. Trial and error quickly taught me what sound went with "diaper" and what went with "hungry" and what went with "cold" and what went with "too much stimulation." Then again, my child is an aspie as well so I noticed when things bothered and took proactive steps immediately to remove those before they became problems. People used to tell me I had the happiest baby they'd ever seen. Even if it was strained squash for every meal for a week (that's what would be eaten, so that's what the kid got), the kid appears to have survived. Didn't have a spouse to help out, it was just the two of us. It worked out just fine. Gave me something to focus on, and you know how aspies can be about projects.

Except the kid won't take the trash out without being nagged incessantly.

I guess we show our AS in different ways and some people may find looking after their children easier than others.
In my particular case, I know I wouldn't be a good mother but I've been told I'm an excellent aunt. And, well, none of my two nephews run and hide when they see me, so...

Raising a child is not an easy task for NTs or Aspies. I can't imagine it would be a whole lot tougher for an Aspie. There's a lot of difficulties either way but if you ask any parent who's seen their child grow up through life I'm sure they'd say it was worth it and probably the most rewarding experience.

If your worried about being a parent then that is perfectly normal. However your not alone in your endeavor. There's been billions of people who have been parents before you, and if they can do it so can you.

I would make a good parent dispite difficulties becuase it would be my job. Also I have read parenting books in psychology including developmental psychology. With how I could present myself I could sound very inteligent on the subject with a little more study. Not like an expert.

I would likely worry about many things, but that is normal anyways. At least to a good parent.

Ok let's see... Aspies both have reproductive organs so... um, that takes care of the physical aspect as long as you find someone to have sex with. Why would you think Aspies couldn't be parents? I'm an Aspie with an NT partner, an older autistic son and a younger non-autistic son. Parenting doesn't change much in many aspects between NTs and Aspies as long as you can make a routine and learn to handle things in a more organized manner and all. I love my sons. Being an Aspie doesn't interfere that greatly into my being a mother.

How can an Aspie be a parent? Ask my daughter that. She's a normal child - she has her crying moments, and her loud moments, and her touchy-feely moments. But one of the things that people have always told me is how happy she is. She makes everyone else feel loved. And every time I caught her excluding someone, I had her stop and explained to her that I was a kid who was excluded. She's fair and honest. She's logical and critically thinks. She whines and complains and yells much less than she cuddles and hugs and protects.

I never thought I would be a good mom, but the moment I looked in her eyes for the first time, I felt love that you couldn't imagine. And the love guides you in what to do and how to do it - and it gives you the strength you need to move forward.

I dunno.

I've done okay.
I think we parent the same way as everyone else - by the seat of our pants.

Actually, passing on my genes has been one of my "special interests" for years. I had it all planned out and everything...

My daughter, luckily, was pretty easy. My son was harder, but he is also an Aspie, like me. So, it worked out. The one who couldn't handle it, actually, was my ex - their dad. He had more sensory issues than I do, so he couldn't handle the crying (which *wasn't* constant.)

Well it either involves sex or adoption

IVF is another option.

Sperm or egg donation is another