Have you guys ever felt irationaly lonely?
I mean have you ever felt terribly lonely and unwanted and later realized that you didn't really have a reason to be? For example I feel very lonely right now as none of my friends seem to want to talk to me and either ignore me of blow me off (I think anyway). But I just realized that they weren't and were just all busy as one of them is talking to me again now. And I felt crushingly lonely too. Has this ever hapend to you guys where you feel terribly lonely and later realized it wasn't really necessary?... Damnit I probably worded that wrong too ad screwed up my point.
_________________
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"-George Carlin
I always feel at a disadvantage because I have trouble knowing if people like me or want to be with me or not. As an adult, people are more polite so its not like kids who are painfully honest, and its hard to tell.
I can tell you that I probably underestimate my likeability or my friends attachment as much as I overestimate it--and its really hard for me not to take everything personally. So, I would say that if one's invitiation is rejected maybe three times, it might be time to assume that someone doesn't want to spend time with you as much. This was hard for me to accept, as the reasons for being unavailable are usually quite plausible, as people don't want to hurt my feelings.
With asking someone out on a first date, I would say two rejections is time to move on. One is probably enough, but I like to be sure. If a gal is busy but immediately wants to schedule a different day, that is not a rejection.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,183
Location: the island of defective toy santas
your wording was fine
it has been my experience that when emotions enter, most everything else leaves. you mentioned your friends being too busy, and i can say that for me, the whole world has been too busy to bother being friendly with me. so in my case i can't say that my feelings of loneliness are irrational, as i am alone and wanting companionship but incapable of effecting any changes to my lack of companionship. but i also have to say that being alone is still better than being in a bad relationship, as one can always be one's own best friend. as for you, when you are feeling lonely you are surely not aware of the opposite feeling, so how can this be irrational? you are feeling lonely for the duration of time that you were bereft of the company of your friends. that's not irrational at all.
____________________________________________________________________________
just my 2-cents' worth, adjusted for inflation
Thanks a lot so far guys. It's just that no more than an hour after posting this thread I got into a few good conversations with them. They really were busy. There the most accepting and understanding friends I have ever had. I knew logically that they weren't ignoring me but I couldn't stop thinking of the possibility and it drove me crazy. Then they started talking to me again and I felt fine. So I was illogically worrying that they were shunning me when theyve been nothing but great to me for 4 years. This is really becoming a problem.
_________________
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"-George Carlin
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,020
Location: In my own little country
I felt so lonely in the summer of 1997 I felt so lonely that I was going to go clubbing and bar hopping, in order to make some friends. My dad said that it wasn't proper for a lady to go into a bar, by herself. That got me thinking that I would get a friend who was more sheltered than I was, to go clubbing and bar hopping with me. My mum said that it wasn't a good idea to start taking her to bars and night clubs. I started giving away my phone number at work and asking my coworkers for their numbers. That didn't go over too well.
I was finally diagnosed with Depression and I got the help that I needed, and a referral to a really nice clubhouse. I didn't feel lonely, anymore. I felt lonely for no reason.
_________________
The Family Schlager
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,183
Location: the island of defective toy santas
Thank you so much guys. This really meant a lot to me.
_________________
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"-George Carlin
