Hi Pensieve,
I wonder if this quote goes to the heart of the matter:
pensieve wrote:
Ok so when I'm drunk...I have less anxiety...
Alcohol is a depressant that can have calming effect, and can lower anxiety in many people. Most people perform better when relaxed and perform worse when anxious, and I'm talking about any type of performance whether its job/office-related, physical fitness activities, or simply getting chores done around the house. Relaxation is key to superior performance. So I wonder if this what you'r experiencing. For whatever reason, if alcohol helps you then I would be concerned about the adverse health-effects of alcohol and alcohol-dependence. Please don't rely on alcohol as a crutch. Better to understand why alcohol helps you, and then replace it with healthier activities. For example, if relaxation is the key to better performance, then there are a variety of healthy relaxation techniques you could use for example yoga, tai-chi, zen meditation, and physical excercise. When I was in college I used to meditate for 10-15 minutes before every exam, and it really helped me do better. I have carried that practice through all aspects of my life. Good luck, hope this helps, and please do not rely on alcohol to get you through the day...in the end it will probably make things worse.