Do/did your parent(s) offend you?

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My mom, who seems to be an Aspie, often offended me when I was a child. By offending I mean using very hurtful expressions like telling me to kill myself, saying that I should have been aborted, that no one will care if I'll die, that everybody hated me, that she could mess up my future etc. This only happened when we we were arguing. When we weren't arguing, she was very nice and loving. She cried when I didn't go to school for 2 months when I had a severe nervous breakdown in 9th grade, due to my social difficulties and anxiety, saying that I was the only person she loved, and that she loved me more than her own life. She also cared for me a lot, always made sure that I ate well and didn't go to sleep late. However, just like me, she didn't know how to express love, but she was still very nice and cared for me very much.
I, myself, often insulted her as well, because it didn't feel wrong - in fact, it felt very normal.

Do/did any Aspies go/are going through something like this?

My mother is almost certainly an Aspie; what my father's underlying issues were I don't know, as I was focused on his alcoholism. They did and said terrible things to one another on a daily basis and although I had to hear and see them, at least I was never included in their anger. Both were unfailingly loving toward me. I can't imagine having to live with the kind of things your mother said to you, even if just in anger.

It's good that you can distinguish between what she said and what she did and you realize that her actions said she loved you. It's very good that you realize saying hurtful things when angry is something you picked up from her. At some point you may be able to stop doing it.

Parents are just ordinary people and it amazes me how many develop an aptitude for the job. Some never do, however, and ultimately that's something you just have to let go.

That's how my parents are. I've been called cocksucker, Motherf***er, piece of (feces) and many other things by my father, and my mother just tells me that I can't do it, whatever it is. She is far worse, because on one hand, she tells me she wants me to be successful in whatever I do, and on the other hand, any time I decide on a career path, she tells me all the reasons I can't do it, and subtly (in her mind) disapproves of any steps forward I take that don't directly relate to me not "costing them money". Actions speak louder than words. I pay for my own school, my car, the insurance, the gas, the credit card bills, and the only thing they pay for is food (that they eat too, mind you) and health insurance, which is good enough that it doesn't cost them that much extra money in the first place. I rarely ever go see a doctor for that matter. They always tell me that I live here for free, but it isn't any skin off their back all things considered. It doesn't cost them anything extra for me to stand in their house, and the heat is never on in the winter (or the air conditioning in the summer) because my dad doesn't want to pay for it. Fine, whatever. Internet is a flat rate too. I help around the house with all kinds of things, including all yardwork, and they still find things to complain about. I'm just an extra cost to them, not a human being. And they claim to love me...hah! Living with them really helped me tell the difference between love and fake.

No, they didn't. I wish they did, because it would have been a lot easier to come to terms with who and what they are. They would tell me I need to be hospitalized, but never to die. I would tell them that all the time. It's much worse when your father comes into your room when you are 13 and says in all seriousness that you are never going to amount to anything ever. At least when they yell, they are just whining, and then I know they are talking out the ass.

I'm NT but my mum (who is bi-polar) did/does a lot of this. We see her with caution.

EmaN - have you read about co-dependency? That emotional push/pull of your mum's sounds quite similar?

My mom has called me stupid a few times growing up and yelling "BS" but luckily I didn't know what that word meant then so no offense was taken. Now if she said that to me today, I'd be very upset and hurt and that is what happened this summer. I didn't speak to her for four days.

My mum offended me to such a horrible point, this summer. She knows that I've been a Kinks Fan, since the age of nine. I made the mistake of telling my mum that Pete Quaife passed away, when I found out two days after that heart destroying news made the paper. She said "They're old! People don't last for ever!"

There was a time when I had a favourite parent. Now I'm not so sure, anymore. The childhood magic between my mum and I has fizzled out, since that rainy day in June.

My mum is not AS, possible ADD, and she offends me a lot.
Sometimes she just says offensive things without meaning to but other times she really does.
When she gets angry she tends to bring up everything that has been bothering her in the last ten years.

My parents rarely used profanities toward us but often commented (in front of us) on how nice life would be if they hadn't had children.

My mother regularly let me know what an offense my existence was.

She was a kindly soul.

I've never been spoken down to by my mother or Father as far as I can recall.

I was wanting to make Mum Breakfast in bed and my sister made a bitchy comment about how mum doesn't like breakfast in bed, and laughed at me, and I went into my room and sobbed. Dad had a meltdown and screamed at me that he hated me over and over again for ruining mothers day. Thats all. He wasn't medicated back then.

I have a lot of grief with my sister from childhood. I find it very hard to love her.

I was very fortunate with respect to my parents understanding I was very different, however I was bawled out by my grandfather once. He made up for it though.

It really does upset me, the things that many people with AS have been subjected to as children, as a result of being misunderstood by their parents or other adults. I think far too frequently, people do not understand that most children with AS are quite innocent in their intentions, and are either well meaning, or don't mean to upset, hurt anyone, or do the wrong thing. This is one reason why the "lacks empathy" myth annoys me so much.