So basically

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My mum and friend are talking sh** about a guy that most obviously has Asperger's.

"Oh he's weird."
"Definitely something wrong with him."
"He's almost robotic" *does interpretation*
"He's pretentious."
"He always thinks he has to give advice about everything."
"He didn't finish Uni, went to jail and doesn't work - he's nothing!"

They could basically be talking about me.

No wonder I hate socialising. People are cruel.

The went to jail part is questionable, depending on the circumstances surrounding it. Regardless, I agree. People are cruel. I don't understand how doing so gives them positive feelings. Logically, I understand the rationale (elevates the self at the expense of another), but still, it seems counterintuitive to me.

Whenever I hear conversations like that I start matching the criticisms to symptoms and get annoyed at people for being cruel and unsympathetic.

Some people ARE cruel. Some people never learn that it is a mark of maturity when you stop judging others. I think most do so to 'feel good' in comparison to the person they're judging. There are many people that aren't so shallow so don't give up hope!

My mother likes to make similar mean comments about my brother's friends, seemingly unaware that my brother--otherwise known as her own son--is EXACTLY like that.

That's exactly what I do. All their criticisms fit all my core ASD symptoms.

She was even talking about an ADHD boy then talked about him not being normal. But she has many ADHD symptoms. Inattentive type at least.

She better not complain when I start smashing things.


It was only for two months and if he does have AS it could have been a misunderstanding. He doesn't seem the type to be knowingly breaking the law.

Does she even realize?

I get into arguments with my mother over someone else's bipolar symptoms all the time. She said she was the antichrist once while in a manic phase, and while my mother understands manic phases, she still goes off on "I think she's evil" despite the fact that this is just typical mania.



A lot of stuff people get imprisoned for in the US is not even stuff that should bring prison time. I'm always skeptical when I hear these things.

I know of people who have gone to jail because debt collectors manipulated the court system to put them in the position of being in contempt.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we have a high incidence of comorbid mental illnesses.

Yes but you must understand that women tend to do this.

That sucks.
I've been in a similar conversation where work colleagues were criticising someone that they knew, and they could have been talking about me. I tried defending the guy being talked about by saying things like"Well, maybe he doesn't say a lot of facts to show off; maybe he does it because he thinks people will be interested", but it didn't work.
These were reasonably nice people who I was talking to, too.

a lot of people are mean.

i paid attention recently to everything a co-worker didn't like about other people and almost everything was an asperger-like trait: seems weird; too quiet and stares; doesn't know how to interact; didn't get a joke; won't stop talking about an interest.

i wonder if she knows how intolerable and ugly a trait it is to dislike people who are unlike her for being who they are, and to talk negatively about other people incessantly. now everyone she has something bad to say about piques my interest.

Besides the elevating the self it diverts attention away from them too, everyone has their dirty laundry...

Hhhhhhhhhmmmmmm. You guys never talk or think bad about anyone?

It's part of human nature. And we're all humans.

It's okay to mock someone with autistic spectrum traits in front of someone who is on the autistic spectrum? Say, one's own daughter in this specific case?

Is there something wrong with venting frustration in this circumstance?

My response had nothing to do with whether mocking someone for anything is cruel or mean. I'm just saying that it's part of human nature to complain, especially about things that make us uncomfortable or annoy us.

Besides, a few posters here have mentioned that the person making the comments are unaware of the same characteristics in their own family members or even in themselves. Now that I think about it, I'm sure I'm guilty of this myself. Have you heard of the saying, "I'm great at giving out advice, but crap at taking it myself?" The same can be said here.

If I don't like A, I wouldn't talk to B in a way that would convince B to also dislike A.

If I don't like A and if I know B also isn't exactly a fan, I wouldn't start talking to B about A in a way that would only add fuel to the fire.

I might make tongue-in-cheek comments about A, but I usually reserve those comments for people I like or at least feel neutral toward. But in any case, mean-spirited comments are just wrong whether or not A is autistic.

Edit: Wait, you're an NT? Well, screw you and your NT nature.



Then maybe being "reasonably nice" isn't good enough.