Peer on the spectrum being passive aggressive

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I have known the same guy for the last 3 and a half years who also has Asperger's Syndrome. I am 2 and a half years older and we have seemed to get along fine. At the same time, he has been getting acquainted with friends who are neurotypical. I have been invited to the same events and I always try to be myself and have a good time. However, he seems to get this attitude with me that that I will embarrass him in front of them.

I had also invited him to several things, and he usually says he coming but they're usually empty words. He then calls me later and says that he can't make it at the last minute and says things like that he's tired, been spending money, or has family coming into town and would like to see them. He also seems to make comments that it takes an hour to get into my area by transportation and will only come if he can get a ride.

So, long story short, I posted some photos on Facebook and tagged him in a few for a party, and found and then untagged himself from the photos because he claimed that it embarrassed him. So, I called him up and asked what was going on, and he told me that he wanted to look professional and not silly because employers go on there sometimes go on Facebook and look for those pictures. He did it just this morning and I have to admit that I am very hurt.

As far as the facebook photos go, I wouldn't take that personally. I would untag myself from any photos I didn't want my colleagues to see as well. About half my FB "friends" are from my office.

I will look to see what photos of me that are tagged that look unprofessional. As for the guy, he had been particular attitude about what he wants to do for activities. He has also come to the parties that I have had with an extremely ungrateful attitude that what I have planned it ever enough. He would never come up with any suggestions of what he wanted to see or do. He also whined that every time we went over to my friend's house that we sit around, drink luke warm water, eat cookies, and watch movies. That is the kind of attitude that he posed with me.

Again, he is trying to be someone and something that he isn't and always acting like "Don't embarrass me in front of my friends if I start getting silly or do something unusual. He is also quite flaky and that right there turns me off.

He is probably honest, and if you are hurt over that, then I would not want to know how you would react when people are lying to you.

It sounds like he is unhappy with being friends since he keeps being flaky and blowing you off time after time. I had a similar situation involving a girl and after awhile of making plans and her flaking out on them for something or someone else I let that friendship go because I wanted to be friends more than she did apparently.

I'm not passive-aggressive, flaky or easily embarrassed. Actually quite the opposite. It's not a spectrum thing. Whether he's being passive-aggressive or not, sounds like he is kind of annoying. Just casually invite him but don't go out of your way if he's complaining about everything and backing out at the last minute.