Gay Aspies

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I'm homosexual but to be honest I'm totally inexperienced with sex, dating, or even the general rules of gay men being together. I don't know a lot about the gay culture other than the stereotypes I've seen on TV, and I don't think I've ever known anyone who was gay personally (I grew up in one of those small backwoods towns where if you're anything other than a white or black heterosexual Christian you tend to hide it).

However I've realized that some day I would like to maybe find a partner in life if I'm ever lucky. I've been trying to improve my appearance by dieting and exercising to loose weight, and using the tanning bed so I'll be tan instead of pasty white. However because I have Aspergers it probably will effect my social skills when it comes to meeting guys and such.

I was wondering how do homosexual aspies deal with that? How do they go out and meet partners, or do any of them even have partners? It would be nice if I met somebody one day to share my life with after my parents are gone, perferably somebody good looking, friendly, stronger than me, and can be my rock whenever I'm stressed out from life. Maybe even some day we could adobt a kid together and it'd be just like raising a family, of course that's assuming the world doesn't go to hell in a few years and I'll be stuck worrying about survival (sorry that's the ever-nagging cynic coming out of me).

Anyways if somebody could give me any advice on this I would greatly appreciate it.

hiya Graysun369
welcome to this thing of ours
if i were a few decades younger, then we'd be fellow travellers. the first thing i'd do would be to move away from hooterville. not to disrespect the town you live in, but i also live in a backwater town full of backworldsman types and i refer to my corner of yahooland as hooterville as well. your chances of meeting another person similar to yourself would be greater if you moved to a larger city or some place with an urban [urbane?] culture, preferably on the coasts or up north, as the south/midwest in general is not as gay-friendly [for the most part] as areas up further north and/or coastal. i believe your chances of meeting fellow travellers where you are at are not large, no reflection on you but if your little town is anything like mine, we are so far in the closet we might as well be in narnia - and lord knows one cannot meet anybody else while hiding in the closet. just my two-cents' worth, not adjusted for inflation

I agree. I used to live in Hooterville as well.
I never met anyone there I could even stand, let alone anyone I could relate to. As for actually meeting someone once you're in a place where that's possible, I don't really know. For me, it was just luck. Actually, looking back on it, I was quite naive, so I wouldn't recommend doing what I did anyway.

Well I actually did move recently, I'm not going to say where because I'm very careful about putting information like that on the internet these days. I'll just say that I moved to a bigger city in Florida.

From what I've heard this city is actually more tolerant of homosexuals then where I used to live, I think the Rainbow Parade even goes through here sometimes. However I've always been very shy so I don't go out and do much in this city, though I guess that would be the only way to meet men is to get out.

Are you in university/college? If so, does your school have an LGBT society? Maybe joining that would help you meet people. That's what I'm planning to do when I go to university.

What worked for me was to pursue my interests. Twenty years ago, I was a young man in a new city. I decided to pursue my interest in performing, and the lighting designer of the first show I did asked me out the day after we closed. We have been together twenty years, now.

Given that social skills are not usually our strong suit, sometimes it is best to look for friends with shared interests first. Romance can follow in the most surprising places.

interesting how people of such widely different educational backgrounds could get along.

I don't know if the college I'm planning to go to has a LGBT community, but I heard there's some kind of center in this city for homosexuals to meet. I'm not really sure what all they do there, but my friend explained that it's not like a gay bar where people meet just to get laid. They have all kinds of activities there.

If I ever get the courage to actually go out into the city and try to find it I might check it out. But right now I still don't know the city very well and I'd rather wait till I feel more comfortable venturing out into it.