Conspicuousness?

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In daily life, how conspicuous do you consider your AS to be to others?

I realise that we are not particularly aware of how we appear to others, so just answer the question as you see it.

Also, on the level of individual social interactions, is this dependent on:

a) length of contact
b) context of contact
c) type of contact
d) general mood/energy level
e) other factors or none of the above.

And, if others do happen to register that you are different, is this more to do with what you say or the way you act?

P.S. distinction between diagnosed/undiagnosed made purely for sake of comparison/my own interest.

All of the above, and both, respectively. I responded "occasionally, diagnosed" to the poll.

P.S. Cool name bro, definitely my favorite interval too.

I am conspicuously odd. It seems that anyone that has been around autism, like special ed teachers, pick up on it pretty quick.

Occasionally conspicuous (undiagnosed)

I voted occasionally conspicuous.

My psychiatrist says it's "very obvious", but I've mastered the art of avoiding social interaction, so it probably averages out.

I chose decidedly, because my first therapist said I might have ASD after just our first session, and my occupational therapist said she could tell literally after the first few seconds I walked into her room.

I chose occasionally. In some instances or circumstances there may appear to be nothing out of the ordinary at all, however in many other situations I assume it looks much more conspicuous.

I highly suspect an ASD but although I have been seeing therapists on and off since the age of 13 (the authorities wanted my mum to take me to one at the age of 7 but she would not take me) and it has never even been considered, let alone diagnosed, but I think that may be due to other reasons and not because it's well hidden. At 13 I was told I was just emotionally immature, at 16 that I was immature and over sensitive, in my mid twenties it was diagnosed as Depression, Anxiety and Social anxiety, (which they believed to be a result of the depression) and later a diagnosis of Agoraphobia was made. And at some point a diagnosis of OCD was chucked in there as well.

I did not tend to stay in therapy for very long though, usually dropping out after a few appointments. The reason for this is that they were fixated on the depression and quit insistent that the depression was the cause of my problems and that my social problems would disappear when the depression was resolved. Also I found that the relaxation classes they sent me too did not work for me and therapists were completely ignoring my social concerns when I told them about them. I am now 35 and going around in circles.

All the way through my entire teens I kept trying to tell them that "I can't mix with people" "I can't mix with people" "I can't mix with people" and it was totally pushed aside.

Firstly my depression comes and goes (ie is not chronic or constant) and even when I am not depressed my social problems remain. This indicates that the depression is a manifestation of my problems and not the actual cause.

Secondly, yes over the years I have become anxious about mixing with people because I have suffered from bullying of one kind or another all my life. I could not socialise well to begin with and the constant bullying and ridicule did make withdraw a little bit out of the fear of it happening again. I was bullied all the way through school, bullied at work when I left school and then bullied and stalked on the internet for 8 years after that. My anxiety about socialising does not stem from feeling a bit embarrassed or worrying that I might make a fool of myself.

Beneath that anxiety I am still left with the problem that I cannot mix. I do not really know how to make friends, I do not know how to initiate conversations with people, I cannot make small talk, I cannot read body language at all but I can however read some facial expression (unless they are too subtle or complex) and I am usually ok with vocal intonation although I can sometimes mix certain ones up (ie speaking in a short sharp tone will always be interpreted as anger as annoyance, irritation, just being busy and not having time to chat etc all sound the same to me). When I do manage to relax I annoy people and drive them away by constantly bringing the conversation back to the same subject, branching off into monologues and generally forgetting that a conversation is supposed to be a two way process. In short I talk at people rather than with them.

I am obsessive about my hobbies and fixed when it comes to certain routines (my life revolves around them), however those obsessions and rituals are not distressing to me in and of themselves. They just seem to annoy other people (lack of flexibility on my part) and I then get upset because people keep trying to make me change them (I don't like change and need a sense of familiarity). The problem does not come from the routines themselves as I function better with them, the problem comes from other people not being able to understand them as they seem pointless to them. For that reason I can tend veer away from too much people interaction. I just want them to leave my routines alone and stop trying to make me more like they think I should be (ie if i want to eat the same darn food menu every Saturday etc that is up to me. If I want to spend most of my free time doing my hobby that is up to me as well) and so on.

I also close the curtains on sunny days and stay in and wear pyjamas in the house for comfort reasons due to the fact that day wear can irritate me and I am sensitive to light. Yet both of those are taken to be depression...when actually...I do them anyway whether I am depressed or not.

All of the above has been either misinterpreted or missed completely by the professional therapists. However for the last year or so I have had a support worker who was going over my symptoms for my disability medical when they asked at the end of the conversation "Has anyone ever spoken to you about Asperger's disorder? Around the same time I was talking to an online contact and several people on a different forum board about my problems when they too said "Have you ever heard of Asperger's disorder?...

Before hearing other people mention it in the last year or so, no I had not heard of Asperger's. I am due to start seeing a therapist soon and will see what they say or I may just bring it up myself. I don't know yet. It may just be that I hide it too well but that is unlikely given that I am having problems working due to it and my social problems are quite severe. I suspect that the diagnosis has been missed due to it not being in the DSM back in the 80s when I first started trying to tell people I could not mix and also because I am a girl and Autism was considered to mostly be a male thing back in those days. So rather than it not being obvious, I think it's just been misdiagnosed.

Highly conspicuous.  Even if people don't know what autism looks like (or what specifically I have), they react very obviously knowing I'm different.  

Even when I was little, the very first thing I remember a stranger saying to my mother was "What's wrong with your daughter?"  Throughout school kids instantly picked me out to pick on, and teachers called my parents starting in preschool. Schools put me in counseling starting at the age of seven, and very few other kids at school were.  And I only got more conspicuous as I got older to the point I haven't been able to safely walk around outside since my very early teens because people called the cops saying they found someone "wandering" and "disoriented".  Even in mental hospitals and similar facilities, kids usually noticed and treated me different, often instantly upon first seeing me.

Apparently it's quite common for people to become more conspicuous with age (because we get further and further behind, failing to develop as quickly as expected) and I am no exception. These days people often assume I am severely/profoundly intellectually disabled (although my wheelchair sometimes leads them to attribute it to a physical impairment instead, I'm one of the few people I know who gets treated better in a wheelchair). People are often shocked when I start typing (which led me to become more self-aware of how I look to others, by videotaping myself) and if I still had speech that would probably shock them even more. 

As far as what causes it (as of these days), I've noted several things:

* Moving when expected to not move
* Failing to move when expected to move
* Moving differently than expected, including "stimming" etc.  
* Unusual body posture
* Unusual gait
* Unusually blank default facial expression, and unusually fleeting other expressions
* A subtle (or at times very obvious) "dull" undertone to my voice
* Unusual interaction with objects
* Failing to respond to dangerous situations
* Unusual responses to my sensory environment
* Odd vocalizations
* Moving too fast or too slow

I think those things hit people before anything else does. Then when people try to interact they might hit some or all of these other aspects such as:

* Total lack of apparent response
* Lack of eye contact
* Unusual or clumsy gestures or body language
* Delayed response
* Lack of understanding of any words they say
* More subtle misunderstanding of words
* Being either too terse or too verbose
* Doing or saying things that unintentionally appear rude or hostile
* Lack of using the "little words" (hello, goodbye, please, etc.)
* Being very repetitive in topic or language

And that's besides the possible freezing in place, shutdowns, meltdowns, etc. and all the various social stuff I might do wrong or differently. 

But I've found usually people notice something very different before they even get to interacting with me. It's taken me a long time to work out why that happens, and I bet there's even more to it that I haven't guessed yet. 

Also I voted in the category of diagnosed AS/HFA even though I'm not diagnosed with either of those, just autism (with no HF before it). I assume people with PDDNOS diagnoses would have to do the same.

It depends on my mood. If I'm in a very good mood, many people can't tell I have AS. However, if I start crying or end up confused in a social situation, that gives it away.

I almost always stand out. I absolutely hate it, because I try my hardest to blend in as much as possible. I don't think my body language stands out at all, but apparently to NT's it does.

I picked occasionally since most people seem to treat me like anyone else, but bus drivers have asked me if I want the disabled discount or if I'm disabled so I guess it's obvious to some people but then again many of the people around here the ride the bus are disabled.

<~~~~"Decidedly Conspicuous (undiagnosed):" reason being, I can fool people at the outset, but I am unable to keep up appearances. It's getting a lot worse the older I get too. I am experiencing severe sensory issues, & can't cope with lots of outside noises when they happen all at once.

I chose occasionally but I really don't know. It depends how much someone knows about autism. I'm very quiet, awkward and do stare up around or down a lot. I only talk with people I know well and will only give simple answers to strangers. My sensory issues affect it too. I could be feeling fine and then when exposed to flickering lights or many sounds or even seeing people I could withdraw into myself and even go as far as losing speech and not be able to move as smoothly as I usually do. Sometimes I stim and it's noticeable and sometimes I don't. So I'm really not sure.