Are you territorial?

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OK, this is in regards to people using your stuff or being in your personal space. Do you have a strong sense of what is yours? Are you a territorial person?

For example, I recently noticed that one of my room mates has been using my bar soap. I don't know why, but it just feels like a violation, especially since no one asked my permission. It's just a tiny bar of soap and it doesn't really matter, but I think it's more the principle of it. Little things like this really irk me.

I've also been told that I am bad with sharing, especially when it comes to food. When dishes are served collectively, I used to focus on my favorite food and scarf it down, to the degree that my parents didn't get to have much of it. I didn't realize they'd wanted it too, and I assumed that if they did, they'd just grab it while they can. Apparently not, and I guess I was being unintentionally rude. But I didn't understand the concept until after they explained it to me. Now I try to take my time and not just dominate the table when there are foods I like.

Regardless, anyone else have any experience with this?

I hate it when people use/touch my stuff, especially children.

I am to a degree, but not particularly so to comment further.

Yes. And well, if someone invades your privacy like that, who's to know they haven't gone through all your stuff when you weren't around?
I always fear that when I'm not at home my mother suddenly decides to clean up my room - she really has done that sometimes. It's awful...it's just leaves me to wonder whether she looked at the stuff I had lying around and if she's now thinking some bad things about me because of them...What if she found some of my drawings or something? I am horribly afraid of people going through my stuff, and I believe it is largely due to some ridiculous trauma from my childhood, when I had a friend who would always when she came over go through all my stuff and judge some of it unworthy and tell me I should no longer have anything to do with that stuff. I absolutely dreaded her coming over, it was horrible. But it was pretty much my own fault for being so afraid of her that I couldn't tell her I didn't want to be her friend.



I too am bad at sharing, but I think it's just because I'm selfish...or well, at least I've always thought that's it. I can pass on some things if I'm not in the mood to eat them, though.

I like a "what's mine is yours" philosophy. I hate words like me, mine, and I and I used to avoid using them by using the passive tense in really weird ways. Actually I still do that sometimes.

Territorial is probably the best word to describe me: I hate when there is someone else in my room. I'm like an africanized bee, but more passive-aggressive.

I would say yes. I have a long list of pet peeves when it comes to using my things or entering a room uninvited. Things in common areas like the living room and kitchen are fair game, unless you're talking about special things (like my birthday cake leftovers or something). If you're talking about things in my bedroom or office, I believe strongly in asking for permission to A) enter the room and B) use the item. However, I do feel especially territorial about my guitars, computers, and other interests, even if the person asks first.

For example, sometimes my wife asks to borrow my phone or use my computer. Even though I have nothing to hide, I feel like I have to ask, "Why?" and watch over her shoulder, which doesn't go over well.

On the flip side, I've learned to act more at ease about these things with other people and say "yes" unless there's a reason outside of my territorial nature. I know that I'm supposed to feel okay with somebody using my things with my permission, so I say "yes". So while outside I might appear 100% okay with it, inside, I'm fighting a little internal struggle.

Just my 2 cents.

I get like that a lot.

I am extremely territorial. People getting into or near my stuff ratchets my anxiety up ten-fold, and the fear that someone would go into my room and do things with my stuff has actually kept me at home to prevent it.

for me, not so much, if my roommates/friends want to use my stuff, i generally dont really mind; the agitating part about is if they do not ask me first...

I'm territorial about my apartment and my stuff. But that's partly because while growing up, my mother didn't respect me nor my right to have my stuff left alone.

I had a bratty little brother and sister who, every chance they could, broke my possessions. The more I liked something, the better chance they would break it....on purpose. And no matter how much I hid it or put it high on a shelf, they would find it and destroy it.

Complaining to my mother didn't help a bit since she'd just blame me, saying I should've kept it hidden better or higher. She would never punish them nor tell them to stop breaking my stuff, either. It was one out of many instances of her totally disregarding my needs and to make it worse, we lived in such a small house, all three kids shared one bedroom. So there was no escape or privacy.

When I finally got my own place, I became so protective of it that it was hard to invite people over. I can finally collect things without people breaking them and have a refuge I don't want anyone to interfere with.

I am territorial about my space, rather than things. I do enjoy sharing my belongings, but it would have to be in an area that is not my personal space.

That sounds a lot like what a friend I had when I still went to school told me of her lack of privacy when it was one of the things that she most desired...that her brother would go and break stuff, her grandmother would just go and rearrange her room while she was gone...

I am! i don't like other people in my room, unless they haven't my permission. And i don't like people touch my things without permission.

Personally if I had a room mate using my bar of soap I'd not be happy with that either!

I've really been in a position where others would use my stuff...other than in high school my friends would always use my perfumes and toiletries without my permission, it drove me mad, especially as they were messy (and not all that great in terms of their own grooming) and used all of it or left lids open etc. - but then I couldn't really stop them, and I'd imagine that'd annoy anyone.

With my boyfriend I can get a bit territorial, mostly this is MY flat so although he stays here often it's still all MY stuff that is set out MY way and used MY way - the main reason why we're looking for a new place, I think if he lived here the MY STUFF issues would drive him mental, at least living somewhere else there's a better chance of my playing nice and sharing

This I can relate to, I remember one occasion where there was a German-themed night at the local sailing club and I went round eating ALL these little ginger breads...I had to have this very clearly explained to me, that it was rude and that other people might like the food even if I did decide they were all mine. I will focus on a particular slice of pizza or particular cake, this is mine and I make a point to get it first or put my claim on it in some other way.

I'm very territorial. Whenever other people - such as my brother's friends or one of my extended family members - come over to my house, I feel like my personal space is being violated. I just get this feeling of intense discomfort and agitation and the only thought that goes through my mind is "when will they leave?" The feeling gets a lot worse if they go and use the computer, which is in my room. I guess it's because I feel like I can't let my guard down around them. It's nothing personal; my guard goes up whenever I'm around anyone who isn't my mom, my dad or my brother. Even other family members.

And whenever I go out to the park behind my house, I feel like anyone who comes into the little corner of the park where I do my running is violating my personal space. I know that these feelings are ridiculous because it is a public place where anyone is allowed to go, but I just feel so upset when I get all prepared to run only to find out that people are using my favorite area of the park to play with their unleashed dogs (which, by the way, is a violation of park rules; there are leash laws in effect).