Pictures and honesty.

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Do you think people are usually honest about their comments for others' pics or do you think that most people will use terms like "nice" or "cute" instead of ugly even if the person in the pic is really ugly just to avoid hurting feelings?

Well if I was being honest to a friend who tried a shirt on, he wouldn't like my attitude.

FRIEND: Do you think this shirt suits me?
ME: No, it doesn't really look good.

That would be impolite, but it is good to supress those comments to find another way of saying it politely.

FRIEND: Do you think this shirt suits me?
ME: It looks OK.

It is okay buy it depends on the wording you use.
People aren't exactly honest about it, but they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.

I will never call someone ugly unless they had a horrible nature.

I've only ever called a few people online ugly, for this reason. I would fib to people about it, theres no way I would go and tell someone they're ugly even if I don't think they're very good looking.

Some people have more sense about these things than others. Imagine that. A lot of people seem to think I'm an excellent writer, so sometimes aspiring writers ask my opinion. I try to "feel them out" first to see if they're looking for an encouraging compliment, or if they want me to critically shred it and find every little error. Likewise with pictures, but if she asks, "Do you think this makes my butt look big?"...

I'd never want to say someones ugly aswell because I wouldnt want to hurt them.

I usually tell the person how good they look. I wouldn't want to say anything to upset them. Not unless that person's Picture was taken, just as they were getting out of Bed.

For me, ugly is an attitude, not a body type or look. In the shirt analogy, I'd be honest, but not nasty. "That style/colour/whatever doesn't suit you."

Using Mr. Marks example...

I've done editing too for peeps and I ask the same question. If I can be honest or do they want a pat on the back. If they say "honest" then yes, I take it apart. The thing is, I try to do it in a non-confrontation and encouraging manner. I don't get personal. There's a difference between "what the **** were you thinking, twit! There's only 2 "l"s in umbrella!" and "you've got a few spelling errors, which I've marked. You may want to invest in a spell checker." You can be honest and critical without being horrible.

Er, not that Mr. Mark is horrible, cause I doubt he is, from what I've seen of his posts. I was just going off his example.

I take the middle route with this one: I just don't say anything.

Vinzer: Most people will misinterpret that to mean you think they're ugly anyway.

I regard that sort of question to be a trick question, worthy only of being avoided if possible and given a trick answer, if avoiding it is impossible.

In nearly every case where someone asks for my "honest opinion" of something, I've found that my honest opinion was the last thing they really wanted. Yet, I've never really been able to figure out what they were really asking me for; the best I can do is assume they are asking for some encouragement or flattery, neither of which I'm natural at giving.



Although, I've never tried putting myself in the place of someone who is asking that question, at a time when no answer is expected, until now. Under what circumstances would I ask someone for an honest opinion, and what would I hope to gain from it? I suppose the only situation where I would do that would be when the subject is not directly what I'm interested in. Instead, I would ask a question like that because I want to know what the other person sees, how he/she thinks, what kind of reasoning is being used, and how it all differs from my thought process. And so an example of one of the most honest and direct versions of the "what is your honest opinion..." question would be when someone once asked me, upon hearing some music in a style we didn't agree on, "what do you hear in that kind of music... what are you listening for?"

In short, I suppose that someone asking for my comments on their picture is actually asking me to compare notes with them to figure out if we're seeing the same thing, and trying to figure out what I think about them, and how I react to them. In a way, I suppose it's their way of telling me "you aren't giving me enough feedback about who I am and what I'm supposed to be in relation to you, so I'll try asking for that feedback more directly. I don't want to do it this way, but, really, you keep your thoughts and your relationship with me a big damned mystery, and I can't stand that situation any longer!" And so, in a way, I suppose my first instinct (that they are looking for comfort and reassurance) may be correct, after all? Except that in truth, it was me that has been making them insecure and causing them to ask for that reassurance... I always assume that I'm not important enough to cause people to feel uncomfortable and insecure, and so I assume that a question like that has absolutely nothing to do with me directly, and I assume that they asked for my "honest opinion" because mine was as good as anyone else's, when, in fact, my opinion alone was requested for a very specific reason.

That's curious... it gives me an entirely new way of looking at things that have been completely and frustratingly incomprehensible to me, up till now....

what a great topic this is. i think that people will say "nice" things even if the person is obviously ugly. sometimes i think the pressure to say nice things all the time is too stong and is what is wrong with mostly everyone lol

I have face blindness, everyone looks pretty much the same to me from a strictly physical perspective. However: I can see a "light" in some faces that is very beautiful and if I see that, I will tell the person they are beautiful.

One reason I don't really enjoy watching movies is because I can't tell the characters apart, they all look the same to me more or less.

I don't tend to say anything if I don't find someone that attractive physically. This gets me out of lying to them but then also prevents me from telling them the horrible truth. But then, in some cases, I wouldn't say I had face blindness or anything but I don't really notice how people look in a lot of cases. I judge people on how they are rather than what they look like as I find that I notice people due to their personalities. If someone has a bad personality, they are ugly in my opinion, but if they have a great personality then they are gorgeous.

I think not saying anything is more offensive than an honest comment.