Have I missed out / screwed up?

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Well I've gone through my entire teenage years without doing what normal people do, and I've missed out big time. Seriously. I can't talk to girls, don't have any female friends at all, I don't go out with my friends (like, to the cinema or the shops or anything, I only ever go round their houses), I don't go to parties (just 1, I've been to), I've never, ever been to any nightclubs (yes, I could indeed do this because it's 18 here, not 21).

Do I want to go to parties and nightclubs? God no! But I must for an experience and to feel normal, before it's too late (I've been severely depressed so that's no doubt knocked some decades off my life expectancy). So yes, when everyone else is settling down, satisfied with what they have accomplished, I won't have experienced any of it.

Sorry for being a complete downer; I just do not know what to do...

Why do you need to go 'to feel normal'. Lots and lots of perfectly normal people have never been to a nightclub and don't go to parties. Accept yourself for who you are. Embrace and enjoy the things that appeal to you and don't waste your energy on the rest.

Why everyone says its hard to talk to the opposite gender if never done that?
Try it before say what it is.

I'm turning 20 this year and I have never gone to nightclubs or bars or anything.
I haven't even tasted alcohol.

I didn't say I haven't spoken to the opposite gender, it's experiences that I have had talking to them that are the reasons why I can't / find it insanely hard to talk to them.

No, you haven't missed out.

I can't talk to girls either, and I am one.

Also, nightclubs are awful. I don't get the attraction. I tried the nightclub thing way back when I was student - even though my gut reaction was "God, no!" just like yours - and wish I hadn't. There are too many people, most of them drunk, too much noise to think and stupid lighting that messes your head up even more. I hated every minute and wish I had never tried the fitting in thing - it didn't help me to fit in at all, just made me feel like cr*p and even more alienated.

Do what you like to do, be happy with that. Then things start to get easier - because you become more relaxed.

You're 18 right?.... you have a lot of life left, you can't possibly have missed out yet.

My personal experience was that my late 20s was the most 'interesting', 'productive', 'rewarding' period of my life. I achieved an awful lot in that 5 years....but I'm only 35 now, and I've still got years ahead to carry on achieving the things I've "missed out on" so far. I didn't meet my life-partner until I was in my 30s - and I'd have missed out on a great deal of fun in my 20s if I'd been pinned down before this!
I've been to night clubs half a dozen times at most. I fell asleep in one it was that exciting!
Similar for parties - they aren't all they're cracked up to be, unless you just enjoy the feeling of being very very drunk, which, personally I don't.

What do you want to achieve? Talking to girls is only a small part of life - but the more things you achieve, the more you will have a chance to talk to girls, and the more chances you have to talk the more likely you'll find one that you 'click' with. Not even NTs get on with everyone.
....this is meant to be inspiring not lecturing you, please take it the right way!

I've met most of my 'romantic interests' through work in one way or another. Not necessarily as co-workers, I met one - literally - in the middle of a lake.

This seems a bit misguided. Parties and night clubs are a very narrow part of life experience, and hardly a requirement for feeling normal. There are lots of people that just don't like them and they aren't autistic. I don't understand why you feel you must conform to this particular for of socialization.



Do you really believe this or are you exaggerating? Depression doesn't knock decades of your life.



It is impossible to not experience life. You can envy others experiences or you can make experiences of your own. If you choose the first, you will experience envy and envy alone. If you choose the second you will have a much wider range of possibilities before you.

I am that way too, it is very depressing,

but when I think about it now, I'm like "is it better to be a teenager, or better to be my age?" It's usually better to be a grownup because you have a lot more freedom, you don't have parents breathing down your neck, you can buy stuff yourself, you can take vacations without asking permission from your folks... And then I'm like, well maybe it would have been nice to have a good teenage years, but I wouldn't want to redo them now because this is so much better! You kind of have to make it that much better though...it's easier to regret the past if you're not happy in the present.

I have lived a lot longer and also have missed out on experiences that my peers have experienced-I will never know what its like to say have sex as an 18 year old with another 18 year old like my peers did-I am now way too old fat and ugly and still not had any intimate relations with anybody.I hate nightclubs and lots of noise and bars are no good for me-ugh I know how you feel though don't be down look toward the positives and thing will happen.