Parents Punishing Me For Aspie Traits

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I have always felt that i get in trouble for many things that i cannot control. Only recently have i learned that this is due to Aspergers Syndrome. My parents don't know i have it (as far as i know...) and they seem to think that they can teach me how to be neurotypical through negative reinforcement. I have always told them that it was a stupid and useless method, but they just take that as me being disobedient and not accepting their punishments. I know that they only do it because they love me, because they always tell me that if i act that way I'll never be able to survive in the world, but they're not helping anything! They're only making me feel worse about myself! Here's my logic:
I am an Aspie, so i meltdown when things change and do certain things that they don't like and the world doesn't like. Obviously, I do not do this on purpose and i don't chose to do it. Rather than punishing me for these behaviors that i cannot control, wouldn't it be more effective to reward me when i get it right? And maybe even try to help me calm down wheni cannot keep in control? Isn't this the method most parents of autistic children are told to use?

I worry that even when i get a diagnosis they still will parent this way! Haven't they learned from they're mistakes? How can i get them to stop this? It's like punishing a baby for crying or a toddler for picking its nose. Pointless. And honestly, it's painful. To try so, so, so hard, only to be punished for still getting it a little wrong, despite the fact that it's mostly right. And maybe mostly right is the best i can do. Without their support, its going to be much harder to get it right!

Thanks for reading my rant. Feel free to comment on it, share personal stories, or whatever you like. Advice would also be greatly appreciated!

What exactly do they punish you for?

I think I know what you mean. My dad starts yelling at me if I have a meltdown (which makes it worse), or if I say something "rude", and I often can't tell if I'm being too blunt.

I feel your pain. I've told my parents I want to get tested for AS, but they won't take it seriously. They punish me for having no "common sense", procrastinating, and having no sense of direction. They feel I won't survive in the real world, and constantly compare me to others, making me feel awful.

I got in trouble over arguments about bathing. I don't feel like trying to remember more.

I'm told often enough I'll never survive in this world the way I act.

Well, that's their opinion. I'm going to live life my way, not theirs.

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I know your pain I am actually a little older aspie (31) and I was only diagnosed at 22 when I was younger particularly a teen my parents especially mum would say things like "you will never hold down a job if you do x" or "cant you get it" , "your badly behaved" etc. Whilst I do now have a diagnosis things are getting better but even the other day I got told off by mum and john my stepdad for something which I handled in an aspie way. It isn't fair at all no and I hope you can sort things out and educate them.

I am ridiculed and mocked on a consistent daily basis due to my Asperger's Syndrome. In spite of being diagnosed, my Mother refuses to acknowledge that it truly exist. In her mind it's "An attempt to put a label on something that is fabricated and acted out.". Even after my diagnosis no one in my family treated me any differently, so they could become more understanding or not change at all. My Mother constantly reminds me that I'm an "Arrogant smart ass." because I am very, very bluntly honest about any question I am asked. She also forces me to eat the diner table when I've explained countless times that the sounds of other people eating drives me insane. To top it all off, she likes to force me to subject myself to textures (Mostly food) that I've pointed out I can not stand. The best one can do in a situation like this is simply to pay no heed to the parental unit and avoid them at all cost, even if they do have the best of intentions.

OP:

Your parents are wrong to punish you, but that doesn't mean it's alright for you to let yourself melt down just because you have a disorder. I'm not saying you're melting down on purpose. But what it sounds like you haven't tried much is calming down before someone get's mad at you. It's difficult, but it is possible. There's no wrong in being upset about something, but I think, more often than not, expressing your being upset or fighting back over a change of plans or not getting to micromanage- which I have done- won't change much and all it does is make your opposition mad, and rather than make them do what you want, they are more determined to do thing's their way because they usually perceive you as a jerk, even though you don't mean to be one. My advice in stopping meltdowns (in your case) is you should always be ready for plans you've made to be changed by someone else.

That's just my thoughts.

That happens to me ALL THE TIME! Especialy with my dad who has no idea how to deal with my aspergers or even all the symptoms and doesn't understand my motices