How do you deal with people outside in the world?

Post Reply New Topic

Hello, fairly new member first time posting in a while. I'm 21 years old and as you know dealing with AS is pretty tough as many people do not understand this disorder. I am a pretty quiet and reserved guy, however I am very open with my friends or family whom I am comfortable around. My parents of course understand what I have, grandfather, uncle and aunts. I was diagnosed at 11, during my younger years(5 - 12) is when I had the most friends and was actually one of the most popular ones in my class, I always came up with something very creative such as a game or something funny that the entire class enjoyed, this fell off around 13ish, when I became more and more anti-social and obtained a "strange" sense of humor I used to enjoy getting other kids angry because I thought their re-action was hilarious, I was not mean or vicious in my ways, I used to play silly pranks and it was more of an annoyance but it got the job done. Throughout 14 - 15, I was put in very bad schools because my school district did not how to handle my AS and ADHD, I was in school where I was the only white kid in a very ghetto and dangerous environment for a year, this is when I adapted violent behaviors and became even more anti social, right after that school I was put in a bootcamp down in North Carolina(I am from Yonkers, New York right outside of NYC). I had my share of very bad experiences, reform schools, boot camps, juvenile hall schools, mental hospitals. I was around some bad characters, that and AS contributed to putting me in a reclusive like state and dropping out of High School when I was 16. I did however go back at 18 and graduate at 19. I have been in fist fights since 14, a far cry from the non-violent, quiet, nice kid that I was before, honestly my experience turned me into this, I was not like that before and I am a big guy(6'1 - 195lb body builder, with an intimidating build, big hands/shoulders/legs/arms/etc) This has led me to being a hunch-over, I hate looking intimidating.



I worked since then, getting laid off in June due to economic issues. I made many friends at work. Since then, I have fell back into my old ways of acting weird and reserved around people, especially the females. I cannot talk to any without my eyes moving all over the place. I have always had issues with eye contact. I have been told I was very handsome and good looking, however I was too much of a "freak" by several girls, this has stained my conscience for good. I have no self esteem and I feel I have no social capabilities. It is not my fault I cannot make eye contact, or I have issues striking up normal conversations without adding an odd remark that makes the other party look at me like "WTF?!"... I agree AS is a curse, but hey, I am proud to be different and myself. I just wish people would be more understanding. I am one of the kindest guys, I have been through enough to know what it feels like to be made fun, put down and made to feel like a reject. When kids used to talk about going out after school, I used to sit with my head down and not even look over there, because I knew they would not ask me, ever!



I keep myself busy with the gym now-a-days. I am out of luck with work. I am extremely paranoid that whenever I go out, I get the feeling people are staring at me or laughing at me. I know its not normal, it's just what I have dealt with in life.


Do any other Aspies deal with this kind of stuff?

I will be honest, I had a hard time admitting to my disabilities, but after years of debating with myself, it feels pretty good.

I feel like us Aspies are great optimists, we always look at life saying "it will happen eventually", be it a relationship, building on our social skills, or getting a job. We always look at life saying we will grow in to it. Will most people will just sit there and mope, we always stay up. At least that's how I look at it. I still haven't had a relationship at 21, but I don't care and I am looking forward to the future.

Sounds like you are okay. My sense of humor seems mostly funny to me. I would stick to being yourself and don't compromise unless you're offensive or overly insulting.

I think I am too nice and willing to help other people when they need it. Most people seem to be takers if you'll let them they'll pull your strings. I have had some difficulty learning to put me first. I have always enjoyed being there for other people, but at the end of the day you're responsible to only yourself.

Think I'm going to move this to general discussion, you'll probably get a far better response. (was in adult autism discussion)

I pay attention to the good people and I ignore the nasty people. I also keep my mind on my own business.