What, exactly, is 'creepy'

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The easy answer is 'whatever gives you the creeps'. I think we all understand what the 'creeps' are, that odd feeling of unease you get when seeing or thinking about something. For example, the premise of 'the hunger games' gives me the creeps... Kids being told ready, set, go.... And then killing each other. Yewk.

But I guess my bigger question is, since NTs often refer to aspies as 'creepy', what exactly are the aspies doing to get that. It also seems like many NT females are in love with male aspies, so obviously being creepy isn't inherent in aspergians.

My hunch is that aspies who are verbally friendly, but haven't mastered body language, are creepy because their words don't match their body language. This throws NTs off, it would be like saying one thing and then the opposite moments later.

Anyway, any thoughts about creepiness?

Eing friendly without building rapport

Inappropriate eye contact, especially starring at attractive members of the opposite sex. At least that's a reason I've been called creepy...

I've watched the movie a few days ago. It was interesting. The idea was a bit ugly, especially when the cannon sounded, and when the day's victims were summed up in the skies. The idea of such a society was very disturbing, as were the haircuts and clothes styles in the main city. However, I'll restrict my further to the subject.



I've always had problems with body language. Sometimes, I'm too bombastic, and sometimes people note sarcasm that isn't there or don't note sarcasm that is there. Additionally, I can come across as being emotional when I'm just explaining what I think, and I've been described by my own grandmother years ago as having 'eyes that stare right through you, into your soul'. Generally creepy, I suppose.

Haha good question.

I've been told I've "mad dogged" people before, when I wasn't trying to. But I think it's a bit harder for girls to be creepy than guys, because guys have more of a reputation for violence, which makes them seem more threatening.

Creepiness awareness is a sort of self-defense. It's a radar system (excuse the analogy) that picks up possible threats.

For many people, this simply means unexplainable or bizarre behavior, or behavior that seems to suggest the possibility of rape, or other predator/prey thinking (like staring at attractive members of the opposite sex). Behavior that is too intimate for the social context or not intimate enough.

I find it creepy when people are too friendly without building rapport, because I suspect them for lying. And I also just get a "feeling" about people, based on my past experiences of trauma--subconsciously. But I'm definitely not right all the time.

It's kind of funny, because a lot of the creepiest people appear the least creepy, and the most charming. This is because some people have the ability to mimic social cues, when they do not have the emotional faculty to actually experience why or what the social cues mean for most people. They are manipulative and excellent actors. Have you ever watched Charles Manson? He is creepy, but there are many videos of him where he does not appear creepy at all, but genuine and harmless (if a little bit "crazy"--which may be part of his disarming act).

I think creepy boils down to a social instinct to pick out things that don't seem to add up--unusual behavior. In order to detect deception and potential threats. Eye contact, body posturing, they can all mark you out as creepy to someone, even if you're actually a nice person.

I've seen videos where Charles Manson looked like a harmless, crazy old hobo. Had I not known about the murders, I would have smiled happily. A lot of mass murderers, context aside, would look friendly. Stalin smiling gently in a garden on a summer's day - you wouldn't easily assume he'd be responsible for millions of deaths. Hitler posing with children might be rather creepy, but in those days, he would have looked like a friendly fatherly figure, not a genocidal maniac.

And yes, I suppose some people who appeared creepy to me had the best intentions of all.

I think anybody people can't understand, someone who seems to be strange as a person and isn't readable for NT's. I think there are creepy ways to behave, certainly, but on the other side I don't like how easily people call others creepy, people who fall a bit out of the group or are just shy and a bit awkward. It comes across as heartless.

Things that are creepy:
1) How they one deals with whatever sex one's attracted to-NTs are typically forgiven, but still often gain reputations as creepers due to mistakes they make in this department.
2) Appearance: anything "wrong" with an appearance can be creepy. Walking in an awkward manner, making the wrong facial expressions, not making eye contact or forcing too much eye contact could be the problem. There's discussion elsewhere of some sort of "aspie stare" though I've never seen it in person.
3) Behavior: talking to ones self is considered creepy. Obvious stimming can unnerve people if they aren't used to seeing it.
4) (lack of) Friends: Being seen as a loner automatically casts a suspicious light on you. With no friends to tell good stories about you, you've only got people who will spread bad ones, cementing your reputation as a creep.

I think that not wanting to be labeled as a creep is one of the many things that makes aspie males afraid to express romantic feelings-justifiably so.

Your examples of Stalin and Hitler are really good because look how many people Hitler convinced? He wasn't perceived as "creepy", but he was incredibly influential and charismatic. A lot of convicted serial killers didn't seem creepy to people who knew them.

It just goes to show that body language and eye contact can be mimicked and that it isn't a fair way to judge someone.

Also, I think creepy is just another way to say "scary"--only it's not as strong of a word.

I do usually try to listen to my gut instincts, just because I've been fooled a lot by trusting people I shouldn't have and assuming that others have altruistic intentions. But I agree that it's not fair to label someone as creepy because they are socially awkward.

i thought i knew what "creepy" means... then one day, a NT tells me that genetically engineered orange fields, where you get a ton of perfectly round, juicy, tasty oranges, all looking the same, is "creepy"... i got lost there.
ever since then, i started paying attention to where else was this word put to use, and every time it passes, i realize more and more that i have no freaking clue what she means by it :S
it seems... anything that is unusual to her. anything she can't understand. anything she can't stomach for a reason or another. i don't get it, almost everything she labelled as "creepy" isn't creepy to me.
i can understand stalking-creepy, i sure don't agree that getting publicly available information of someone is "creepy", but i understand their reasoning. but i really don't understand any of the rest.
help?

I don't have a problem with authority per se, I understand its function in coordinating tasks and planning and obtaining compliance from participants, but, I find people who psychologically enjoy having authority/dominance over other people (different from enjoying the actual functions) to be .... well, gross. Sort of obscene. Like running around loudly proclaiming some bizarre sex fetish and getting really graphic with everyone about it. Or like a dog that humps people's legs.

Like the stereotypical jerk boss, that sort of person. It isn't exactly sexual (or maybe it is?) but it feels creepy like that.

I don't know if it's because I "see" them but thankfully most individuals of this sort tend to avoid making "advances" or whatever you want to call it, at me. Its like we're oil and water, and just don't mix.

Sigh, this word will probably end a life or two in the Autistic/socially awkward/outcast circles.


I go out of my way to avoid people in IRL, screw it, being a anti social, A hole >>>>>>> being a creep.

I be ignoring people in real life and they still call me a creep, damn it just leave me alone and let me live my life, I bet these people wouldn't like it if someone was reminding them of their disability or flaws every five minutes.

Its bringing unnecessary misery to me, especially these past couple of weeks and my behavior hasn't changed much in years. I honestly believe the devil is real as this is just terrible, I'm just plagued with issues, I hate AS with a passion man.

When I was a junior in college, I had a friend who had ceberal palsey and was 2 years my senior. She was an Education major specializing in Special Education. Well, I wanted to move into the same residence hall as her and just before Christmas I slipped a Christmas card under her door as she was coming down the hall (she wasn't there before and the mailman had already come and gone for the quarter). The following quarter, the housing manager told me that this girl was concerned about me moving into her residence hall. He was told by my mother that I had AS and that what the girl learned was all a misunderstanding. Apparently, she was told by her friends (who I never met) that I was a stalker. Ever since then, I have avoided her, as I didn't want trouble. She never told me her concerns about me and I felt betrayed. However, I guess I can probably understand how she was creeped out. Still, it's a scar on my social life that needs healing.

I think you've got a good idea of what the 'creeps' are. Different things give them to different people, but it sure does seem like aspies give most people the creeps. But not everyone, and not all aspies. So what are the aspies who do attract people doing that we aren't? What can we learn from them?

I think this is important to realize. That "creepiness" is subjective. She finds GMO oranges creepy because she is suspicious of how they were engineered, what biology they contain, and how the technology could impact other biological forms (like us). Those are, at least, some of her possible fears. You see them as "juicy" and round. She sees them as suspicious.

Creeps are about what individuals fear and what groups fear.

Why do aspies give people the creeps (if they do)? Maybe because social insecurity or fear (which can be inflamed by past bullying or ostracizing) can manifest itself as seemingly defensive behavior. Fidgeting, staring, and choosing not to speak can all lead people to believe you are hiding something, or are anxious about something (which might suggest that you are going to act defensively and thus aggressively)--especially if you seem to be ignoring common social cues (showing further that you are not tethered by the social rules--which are evolved to keep order and justice in society).

I think this is getting us somewhere. Truth is, we ARE anxious of something, that we will be thought (incorrectly) of being misunderstood. If people could simply communicate more of their feelings I think that aspies would be more accepted. I know that I often feel the urge to let people know that even though I'm not talking, I'm enjoying following the conversation. I thought that letting my face be happy, and making periodic eye contact would convey 'quiet but harmless', but I'm finding out that is not the case, apparently.

Do you think that controlling anxiety would help with social acceptance, rather than vice-versa?