what now

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What do I do now? I am not the person I used to be. A year ago I had hope and a self and all that. My hope is all gone now and I don't know where my self has gone and I don't know what I'm living for. This is beyond anything ever before. I just got out of a few days at the hospital and I don't know what to do know. I don't know where my self went, it died and I don't know how to get it to come back. I used to be happy and full of hope, I feel like someone who is not me is typing this.

At any one point in time you are only based on two things. The accumulation of all your memories as you interpret them and the physical world (your body, environment interacting on you). Look at yourself now and work out what the 'you' or 'yourself in that moment' would like to do. You will only come to the one conclusion that is possible (defined by the laws of the universe). Its the right one for you.

In the next moment you will be an entirely new person, as the world is constantly changeing around, you so don't worry about feeling such thoughts about not being yourself Like a phoenix rising out of the ashes as they say. Your past only influences your choices as advice to you. Oh and every action ever taken by anyone is entirely selfish so don't worry yourself as long as its something that makes you happy/feel good. Hopefully its nice on others and such but its still up to you

I hope you find a way through this moment in time to reach the next.

Just a few thoughts from me as a result of my many years or procrastinating

That happened to me after I moved back from Calgary last summer. I lost a whole bunch of friends in Alberta and came back to nothing, had to move back in with my parents, realized I hated the field I was in, was on the verge of turning 25 and I felt like a failure and so lost and lonely. I kind of went crazy and went to the hospital for a couple of weeks last September. I'm doing a lot better now but I'm still not all there yet. Things will get better for you, it just takes some time. Do you go to counselling? I find that talking to professionals help. Take all of the help that is offered to you, that's what I say especially when it comes to your health.

(((((hugs)))))

Thank you for the help. I seriously don't know what to do though. I did see my therapist today but I couldn't say anything because it's too painful to talk about. I'm in a dead panic. I feel like I've been pushed to a point where emotionally I cannot take this and something has to break. I don't even know who to tell about this, that's why I'm writing it here.