Do you feel lost at parties?

Post Reply New Topic

Parties and dances; two social events that I've never felt comfortable at. Whenever I did use to go, I went psyched up to enjoy myself, and have a good time, but always ended up hopelessly bored, overstimulated by music that's way too loud, unable to have a meaningful chat with anyone present, and just watching others jumping to the music and trying to figure out how the heck any of it could be considered enjoyable. Usually, I would trail off in my thoughts, and start thinking about trains or highway ramps or some other such thing... It goes without saying that I'd make my goodbyes and leave as soon as possible after that :p

Anyone else in the same boat?

At my old job my colleagues always tried to get me to go out to a dance club on Friday or Saturday nights. Reluctantly, I'd go. When they tried to get me out to the dancefloor I'd basically do my 100mph dance just to get out of it. (My 100mph dance was essentially me running in place very quickly as if I was in the Olympics!)

Clubs are torture to me so I don't go out. I've been in them because I used to play in a band, but that doesn't count.

^
^
^
I used to be like that. Just being nervous and sitting in the corner, thinking that I would be that wierdo. But I actually started to dance at these dance clubs and to be honest, I kinda became a chick magnet. It's simple, You just need to flo into the beat, be energetic or cheesy, and then improvise. I try to make it silly by coming up with moves like " the shopping cart" where your mime your grocery store expeirence with a shopping cart.

if that doesn't work, do the chicken.

That's exactly how parties make me feel. It's why I don't go to them.

When I go to parties I often feel lost, awkward, painfully aware of every movement I make and horribly paranoid that everyone thinks I'm a complete Tw*t. So I like to avoid social functions as much as physically possible.....

I just went to my first 18th last night and I was really excited because I've never been to a proper party before but when I got there I was just really scared and awkward and this girl kept touching me because she thought my reaction was funny and then I ended up running away because I was just really out of place. I spent a while waiting on the other side of the fence of the house where it was at listening to the music and people talking and working up my courage to re-enter the party! So yeah, I don't think I'm well suited for the party life!

Sometimes. It all depends on who's there, what kind of conversations are going, how comfortable I was to attend in the first place.

I can't stand parties. I always end up as the guy who's sitting as far away from everyone else as possible. This often leads to people coming up to me, which would be a good thing, expect I usually can't her what he or she says. And if I do manage to hear it, there is usually no way I can have a remotely meaningful conversation with that person, regardless of whether that person is drunk or not. I end up twisting my brain, trying to talk to that person, while I'm constantly thinking "We're sorry; this brain is not open to additional stimuli. Please try again later."

Parties are very much not for me. I'd be more comfortable as part of the band in the background rather than an attendee.

Sometimes it depends on who is there and if I have a friend or two to talk to at the party. In college there were parties where I danced and did not care who saw me as it was pretty dark since there few lights on. A party that is work related can be more difficult than a party that you attend given by friends and not work related.

I used to go to clubs when younger and I enjoyed IDM/drum and bass music at that stage. It took me a while to get used to it. At first I would not push my way through a crowd and I hated people banging into me with their elbows and I would sort of get stranded and not want to move through the crowd to find my friends (when I used to have them!) Eventually I got in the swing of it and enjoyed the music if it had a nice vibe. I would always purposefully get 'lost' in a club, then wander around these huge maze like buildings in circles not talking or interacting with anyone. My friends used to find this strange and quite possibly dangerous in some of the dodgy clubs/raves we went to. When it's loud there isn't much scope for conversation which is sometimes good as you can just 'be' with people without having to socialise, if you can handle the noise and the druggies and the drunks. These days I no longer go clubing, I don't enjoy the music as it is too aggressive and the people are full of attitude. Last time I went it was quite uncomfortable for me, the music sucked and the night seemed to last way too long, I was checking my watch all night hoping it would end soon and all I wanted to do was sit down some where in the corner away from all the chaos.

I generally don't get along with houseparties, especially if I don't know anyone there, I normally fade into the background and watch/listen to other people. I rarely initiate conversations and I get shy when people start directing questions at me and don't give them very detailed answers. I don't have any cute anecodes or stories to entertain random strangers with. I don't enjoy drinking or being drunk and I cannot handle the quantities people drink these days. I will just cling to someone I know all night and probably bug them with my awkward silence. Unless someone wants to discuss my interests I won't talk much. Yeah, I really struggle with parties.

Same here except when they are family things & I don't really have a choice. I may be happy I'm going when I'm on the way there but I know I won't want to stay long & I'm ready to leave 1ce I eat

I am not too keen on parties as they don't really interest me.

I don't know necessarily about parties, but as far as crowds, yeah. For instance, when I am at this one lock in at a church, I feel kind like everyone is off doing their own thing. And so I proceed to either think about my future, politics, finance, electronics, or whatever else is left over. And at family gathering, I like to go to the most undercrowded part of the house and either watch baeball, meditate, or calculate something. (Probably the margin of saftey on some stock)

I used to be terrible with crowds and parties. For me it's mostly the noise and sensory things nowadays that get me nervous.

I avoid parties as much as I can too. This is particular true when I know I would be better of at home playing with the computer and know (hardly) anyone.
I will be going to a party in the coming week, but that's because a) I know there'll be other Aspies (I know) there and b) I've made arrangements to tag along to two of them.