Do you feel that people don't trust you?

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Once in a while, I might meet an Aspie in real life, but when they introduce me to their family, the family acts cold and distant......as in why the hell do you know this woman - it is a distinct vibe of distrust..........i feel like my Asperger's manifests itself differently than most, so a lot of people may not recognize it as Asperger's.

This happened quite recently, and the family acted so cold around me I had to wonder whether a vicious rumor had circulated........they gave me no eye-contact whatsoever but gave others eye-contact. Also, did not say a word to me while speaking to others.

It is a good thing that I never got married........I would never, ever get along with in-laws......it is so hard to make even one friend.........to navigate the labyrinth of the friend's greater NT network is just too much to bear......

I once saw a friend regularly (for other reasons, the friendship dissipated) who had a small network of NT but physically disabled friends (one was an amputee confined to a wheelchair; the other had Cerebral Palsy).......she tried SOOOOOOO hard to include me in this network, but I could tell both of her friends didn't like me, so she had to do the awkward job of uninviting me from something that her friends didn't want to include me in.

I just get this general feeling that if I meet someone, they will privately do a full background check (i have no record), and i will be scrutinized and evaluated......I don't feel that if I am fortunate enough to make a friend again, that I will ever "pass" muster with their family.

I get this general feeling anyway......that i have to jump through a lot of hoops not to completely weird people out....... i have always been an outsider and probably always will

Do you ever get the feeling that people don't like or trust you?

I have had that happen to me many times. Also, for some reason I always feel like I have to prove myself to be truthful...all of the time. Like, if something goes missing at the office, I feel as though everyone is looking at me. I have no idea if they are...I may be paranoid.

Both my aspie husband and son have social anxiety disorder. They really believe that almost everyone they meet does not like them.
The only exceptions are people that literally say, "I like you" or "I want to be your friend"
Or, persistant salespeople who use their scripted patter to build rapport.

They are paranoid and it is annoying and exhausting. Due to their social anxiety, they always behave in a rather hostile manner toward most of the people they meet--since they have decided the acquaintance does not like them.

People may be positive, neutral or open to them when they first meet. However, after some time of defensive and hostile (nonverbal) communication and some strange defensive comments, most people do not want to try anymore. When it comes to friendship, there are easier people to befriend than hostile, paranoid, anxious people.

Pragmatics and scripts have been helping my son, however he is young.

Remember that 90% of communication is non-verbal. Body stance, tone of voice, volume, word choices, eye contact, micro-expressions. NT Humans are wired to read those signals. So if you feel defensive and hostile, you will probably communicate that feeling non-verbally.

I have given up on pride and trying to do it perfectly. I just say that I have a hard time communicating, but I really am happy to be conversing.

weirdly, I have the opposite experience. People tend to trust me rather than distrust me.

Well, to answer your question:

My family treats me as if I am a manipulative. disrespectful, people-hating, pre-Madonna, spy.

So, in that regard, yes.

But I generally am treated by people as though I am programmed to be trustworthy. Which must be the fact that I am nice, because all my teachers and close acquaintances label me as intelligent and kind. People look at me awkwardly a lot though, even though I rarely check, I generally look at the floor, or at other things besides faces.

I hear you. My Mom always says things like "Stop being so mean to me!" when I'm just talking with her, and "Don't you EVER have anything good to say about ANYONE?!" when we're talking about our relatives, who never seemed to take an interest in me or respect me.

People often tell me they think I am whimsical because I always change interests quickly. A year ago I was completely into learning coding languages, while now I can't go a day without drawing, reading and reading about comics. Because of this, they don't trust me. They also don't trust me because I can go from loving someone to hating them in three seconds. One of my friends jokingly once said "Don't piss off Nortier, because you will die" about a high school bully who actually died last December. This very friend has now taken it upon himself to insult me and my best friend so greatly, that I will never get together with him, ever again.

Ironically, people who say this to or about me don't realize that I:
1. Get a new hobby, learn a lot about it, get bored and move on
2. Don't feel I need to associate myself with people who know more about social interaction, innuendos and subtleties than I do, or who don't meet my standards of friendship.

It's a hard knock life, but know who YOU are.

I often feel misunderstood in this way, too. Not trusted, not liked, paranoid, etc.

You picked a perfect day to post this one.

I don't understand the reference/joke/whatever it is, and I'm curious as to what you meant, even though I had nothing to do with the conversation. What did you mean?

Sorry. Just: today found me "being myself" (maybe speaking too loudly, w/o proper affect) in a professional setting & receiving severe discourtesy / distrust as a consequence. I wanted to second the original post w/o hauling out my personal story but there it is. This means assent, that's all.

Ahh, I see, that makes sense. I suppose now would be a good time for me to post in the "Whats your most recent ASD moment?" thread.

No, people trust me too much, unless they don't know me very well, but that's quite normal if you don't know someone very well you don't trust them 100 percent straight away.

More often than not, people are uneasy around me. Almost as if I'm the human equivalent of a semi-feral dog on a heavy chain, but they're never sure if the chain's about to snap.

Yes people seem to trust me easily but I don't trust people.

Mostly strangers just think I'm a bit--or maybe more, strange. I'm not good with eye contact, I don't wear make up--ever, and I always dress to suit myself, taking the weather into account. I don't own any skirts or dresses, as I don't care for them, and the same goes for high heeled shoes. So I don't fit in. I am in my early 50s, and found out decades ago, that nothing I did would help me fit in anyway, so I stopped trying, and just suit myself, within reason. I do wear bras when I go out anywhere, but not at home. Hey, when I'm at home I have the right to be comfortable, and bras were designed by the Marquis de Sade.

When I am out and talk to people, if they talk to me for more than a minute or two, it becomes apparent to them that I am different--somewhat "off." Most people stay nice about it, but occasionally people will be a little rude or even more than a little. On occasion, a person has actually walked away while I was talking--nicely--to them.I see no need to get bent out of shape, or freak about that. My take is that if they want to be rude, then I don't want anything to do with them.

It's harder dealing with family, though. I am stuck in a situation where I do sometimes have to have dealings with them, but I do manage to minimize contact the rest of the time. It's not a matter of being mad at each other at this point. Rather, it's a matter of stress. We all tend to stress one another out, and I seem to handle it the worst, although my siblings also don't handle stress well, either. I really can't stand being stressed out, so I must minimize family contact to avoid the excess stress. Occasionally I do go to family gatherings, but at least when it's over I can go home, and I live alone, so I know before attending the family function that I will be able to escape to my own quiet, peaceful, solitary home when the event is over. This does help me get through the visit. Ah! Solitude!

People can trust me because they start to know that if they badmouth somebody to me, I will never repeat it to anyone. I hate hurting people's feelings, and luckily avoiding hurting people's feelings is one social thing that I know best (out of other social rules), so it makes me an extremely nice, trusting person.