what kind of relationship works better? AS/NT or AS/AS?

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In your experience and opinion, what kind of relationship is probably more successful generally? AS with AS? or AS with an NT?

How many here have had vast experience with relationships with either?

How many have had vast experience with dating both?

How many aspies have even personally met other aspies?

How many here have had vast experience with relationships with either?

How many have had vast experience with dating both?

How many aspies have even personally met other aspies?

That would be me! Mostly dating NT's and not having long term success mostly because the guys were idiotic losers, but there were a couple of men I ended up having wonderful friendships with. There are two support groups in Maricopa County AZ, and I met my wonderful AS boyfriend at one of them/ we anticipate being married in a couple of years probably. I got diagnosed at age 43, btw...

I'm on the spectrum and am in a relationship with an NT. However, I seem to know quite a variety of people on the spectrum, including a few AS/AS couples. I think it depends on personality and what each person wants out of the relationship, more than anything. I also have to stress that dating, whether it be AS or NT, requires finding a partner who truly loves you for you, and who sees your quirks as a way to make you unique instead of bothersome.

I'm sure there are people in both types of relationships who can make it work.

I've had one sociopathic/narcassistic boyfriend, and two NT boyfriends. I've also had relations with a good handful of other men, one of whom I know for sure is AS and I another I suspect. (Naturally, it didn't work out with the sociopath.)

I've always felt that the strongest relationships are based on finding someone whose strengths and weaknesses balance out yours and vice versa. For me, that means I need an extrovert with high social intelligence. Finding someone who has what you're lacking means the two of you are different, though, and that means he'll never completely understand you. The NT would be able to conceptualize what it's like to have AS, but never get it.

I feel like my current boyfriend is a very compatable match for me; he's strong where I'm not, when I need him to be. Sometimes I do feel a little disconnected from him, and lonely... It's easy to feel that way about people though. All in all, he loves me a lot and shows it, and I'm happy with him.

As for the aspie guy I fooled around with, I felt like he understood me perfectly, and I felt like I could understand him, but things never really clicked on an emotional level. We never had any sort of attachment or feelings for each other.