What do you do if your therapist doesn't believe you?

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I've just begun to see a counselor to finally discuss my concerns with possibly having Aspergers. I've researched and studied it obsessively for almost a year now, and to me I am 90% sure that I have it. I've only had a few sessions with this therapist, and she isn't an AS specialist, but has worked with people who've had similar issues I think. Unfortunately, I can only afford a sliding scale community therapy clinic until my insurance kicks in at my new job, but I just needed to get my thoughts out to someone as soon as I could. Anyway, today she said she is still unsure that AS is my problem because she thought I would present differently. She doesn't necessarily think I don't have it, but doesn't know for sure and has other things in mind she thinks it might be. Every person I've talked to about it has basically said the same thing. I think I'm pretty high functioning since over the years I've learned to behave in different ways (based on actions I've mimicked from others) and to hide certain things that I don't want other people to notice. Every time I try to explain my reasons to people, I don't think I explain it the way I mean to. I wrote down many of my thoughts to discuss with her, but I just don't know the correct way to go about it.

I was expecting that she would start and guide our conversations, but it ends up being me talking about very specific things I've noticed and her asking me questions based off of that. I just don't know what else it could be, and I'm so certain that I have AS that I really don't think it could be anything else. Has anyone gone undiagnosed because of similar reasons? By the way, I'm an adult and realized I have AS last October. Thanks for any feedback.

My therapist doesn't believe me, and doesn't believe in "labels" either. She keeps on trying to convince me that my AS traits are completely normal, and that my only problem is self doubt. I've been giving her theory the benefit of the doubt and trying to apply some of her suggestions, and they aren't helping at all. However, when I try to manage my problems from an autistic standpoint, I do make progress...so I feel like that alone speaks for itself. I keep trying to tell her this, but she really just doesn't get it. I am actively looking for a better fit, and I don't think that these issues are all that uncommon, from the similar stories I've read on here.

there are lots of different therapeutic "styles", and most of them work well with some folks and poorly with others.

she may have a point about self-doubt, so don't automatically discount her, but if you don't feel that the sessions are helpful, then find a new therapist. especially if you're paying! before choosing a therapist it's completely ok to ask them what their philosophy is regarding "labels" and to say up front "I like this label, it helps me, and I want to make sure before we get started that our sessions will take that into account."

money can make this hard, but a psychiatrist has to have a medical degree and I would suspect there is a higher likelihood of psychiatrists prioritizing the biomedical model of illness in their practice than there is among psychologists/counselors/social workers/etc. there's a time and place for both sorts of practice, and either extreme is probably less effective than a mixture.

If your current therapist is not a specialist, I would recommend getting an opinion from a specialist that deals with AS on a regular basis. AS can be very difficult to diagnose because of how many different varieties there are, it's different with just about every individual. When I went to see my psychologist, he actually went through a number of tests before really even thinking about aspergers. It was actually a few months of that before I was even diagnosed.

Fire his ass and hire a new one. Therapists work for YOU.

You beat me to it!

There is no reason for a person in need of therapy to put up with abuse from his or her therapist.

I stopped seeing a therapist after he didn't recognize me in his waiting room after the sixth visit.

My life is infinitely happier when I do not see therapists. I've never really gotten some magical advice from any of them.

Last time I went to a psy she said "I must be exagerating" my difficulties because I was an adult. I told her I refused to sit there and let her call me a liar, when all shed wanted to do was medicate me and that the piece of paper she got obviously was just a piece of paper (pointing at her degree) and walked out. Never been to another one up to date.

I refused to let her continue to treat me like that. i told her my concerns and she was like "diagnosis is not as important as how you are coping" I would tell her I was coping terribly and I wanted validation for my family and friends with it they could help me. She wouldn't listen. I hope she eats s**t and dies slowly.

Change the therapist and/or get a second opinion.

I stayed nearly one year in therapy with a therapist didn't believe me and it didn't change until the end and now I'm just mad.
Mad at me, because I stayed, mad at her that she had fiews who just weren't quite right and logical and didn't notice. And it is just time I could have spend otherwise.

Get a therapist you get along with and if you don't in the beginning it propably wouln't change.

I had another session with her yesterday. At our last visit, she said she was going to ask her supervisor if there are any ways we could help determine that it's AS (without giving a diagnosis). Yesterday, she said her boss suggested that she keep talking with me first before we go that route. Then she asked me if we could forget about the AS symptoms for now. I thought she meant just for that session, but after I left I kept thinking about it, and I think she meant forget about it all together. During our session, we were talking about my relationship with my mom and how I was never really able to express myself around her, and she's connecting that with some of the symptoms that I think are mostly AS related. This is exactly what the last therapist I saw did. Any example I would give she would just say something like "Well I could see how anyone would react that way, those seem like normal feelings." I start thinking that I'm not explaining what I'm trying to say well enough (since I completely suck at verbal communication) and become insecure and start doubting myself.

I just sent her an email explaining this to her, so hopefully she is receptive and tries harder to see where I'm coming from. I don't to have to switch to a new person and deal with explaining myself all over again.

Also, this may be a weird question, but do any of you choose or like/dislike your therapist based on their temperament? It's probably not that important as long as they can do their job correctly, but my current therapist and the one I saw before that are both these really soft-spoken, incredibly empathetic people, and for some reason it bothers me a bit. My current therapist is constantly staring at me and I hate it. Whenever I'm done speaking she just sits there and looks at me for several seconds with this emotional look in her eyes, just silent. I don't know if she's expecting me to keep talking or if she's really trying to "connect" with me or what, but I can't look at her (or anyone else) that does that and it makes me frustrated when I talk to her. Am I just being finicky or does anyone else understand?

I dropped a therapist for being too soft-spoken and empathetic. I viewed her as a pushover. I want someone who will challenge me and get me out of my comfort zone...otherwise, what's the point of therapy? As far as your original question, I can tell you what my current therapist (who is a specialist in autism) told me while we're waiting for my Asperger's tests appointments. She said that even if I don't technically "have" Asperger's (which is to be determined), it doesn't matter because I identify with those who do; that means that techniques that work for Aspies will likely work for me. I think that's a healthy attitude. So it sounds to me like your therapist is getting too stuck on whether or not you are an Aspie, when s/he should be focused on whether or not you feel like an Aspie.

That sounds exactly like my therapist; she didn't believe that the examples of AS symptoms were abnormal, and told me flat out that she didn't think I have it, that my primary problem is "low self esteem" even though I feel fine about myself. She's not a specialist in the field of ASD's, and only has an LCP degree; I dropped her as my therapist, and am now looking to find someone professionally trained in diagnosing ASD's to get a proper assessment.

Define "therapist".

A clinical psychologist or psychiatrist with extensive experience? I'd go with what they say if what they say is factually correct. You check what they said. If what they said is right [in almost all cases], then they're "right".

defining right in this context isnt even done exhasutively in the DSM that dictates how to diagnose the original disorder to begin with.

That's because people only look at the diagnostic criteria and don't bother to read the actual book that it comes from, which explains the criteria in-depth. You can't confuse it when you've read it all.

For example, people look at autistic disorder and AS and see lots of the same criterion. Too bad each criterion manifests differently between the two disorders, which is explained in the book.