02 Oct 2012, 8:30 pm
I get this a lot. People find me intense, intimidating, too "smart" ("you're a smart one, aren't you?" when all I am doing is trying to engage in what I consider social chit chat!), too deep, etc...
On the one hand, my special interest (people) can help in social settings, because I am highly interested in how people think, etc, which makes it easier for me to ask them questions about themselves, yet at the same time, I tend to come across as though I am somewhat interrogating them, going too deep (I sometimes make people cry from going too deep! Oops 
).... People also say they can "see me thinking" when I am talking with them...
I think that, as much as talking with others exhausts ME, it appears that others talking with me can exhaust THEM as well.... Hmmm... This might be due to the fact I have to intellectualise my conversation rather than naturally just "flow" with others, plus I hate being stuck at just the surface level of conversation (boring!) and would rather talk about the interesting stuff at a deeper level.... I am also just trying to understand them, and that takes a lot of questions!! lol I have learnt that if I assume stuff about others, I am usually wrong, so these days I prefer to ask questions in order to get a more accurate picture... (I guess they expect me to understand better through their nonverbal messages, but good luck with that 
)
02 Oct 2012, 8:47 pm
On the one hand, my special interest (people) can help in social settings, because I am highly interested in how people think, etc, which makes it easier for me to ask them questions about themselves, yet at the same time, I tend to come across as though I am somewhat interrogating them, going too deep (I sometimes make people cry from going too deep! Oops
).... People also say they can "see me thinking" when I am talking with them...I think that, as much as talking with others exhausts ME, it appears that others talking with me can exhaust THEM as well.... Hmmm... This might be due to the fact I have to intellectualise my conversation rather than naturally just "flow" with others, plus I hate being stuck at just the surface level of conversation (boring!) and would rather talk about the interesting stuff at a deeper level.... I am also just trying to understand them, and that takes a lot of questions!! lol I have learnt that if I assume stuff about others, I am usually wrong, so these days I prefer to ask questions in order to get a more accurate picture... (I guess they expect me to understand better through their nonverbal messages, but good luck with that
)Oh, awhile back( actually some decades) a coworker laughed at "this" and said I should have become a Psychiatrist: " because you like to pick everyone's brains...... "
It's sort of strange I guess because who looks at these details or finds this area interesting enough to probe? I'm the only one so far.
Though, I have not heard "intense." I'm pretty laid back.
02 Oct 2012, 8:55 pm
zombiegirl2010
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Joined: 20 Apr 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Female
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02 Oct 2012, 9:20 pm
I've been told that I'm both serious and a "funny person" (as in comedic). So, I'm a little confused on this one. 
02 Oct 2012, 9:29 pm
02 Oct 2012, 9:45 pm
I've been called intense many times and recently been told I look downright scary when playing sports. I was called a dirty player again on Monday for the third time and I still can't figure out why since I go out of my way to be a good sport. 
Maybe looking intense causes people to make unfair assumptions.
02 Oct 2012, 10:36 pm
emimeni
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Joined: 28 Sep 2012
Age: 36
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02 Oct 2012, 10:55 pm
02 Oct 2012, 11:21 pm
On the one hand, my special interest (people) can help in social settings, because I am highly interested in how people think, etc, which makes it easier for me to ask them questions about themselves, yet at the same time, I tend to come across as though I am somewhat interrogating them, going too deep (I sometimes make people cry from going too deep! Oops
).... People also say they can "see me thinking" when I am talking with them...I think that, as much as talking with others exhausts ME, it appears that others talking with me can exhaust THEM as well.... Hmmm... This might be due to the fact I have to intellectualise my conversation rather than naturally just "flow" with others, plus I hate being stuck at just the surface level of conversation (boring!) and would rather talk about the interesting stuff at a deeper level.... I am also just trying to understand them, and that takes a lot of questions!! lol I have learnt that if I assume stuff about others, I am usually wrong, so these days I prefer to ask questions in order to get a more accurate picture... (I guess they expect me to understand better through their nonverbal messages, but good luck with that
)People don't tell me I am intense. But often, in social situations, I feel intense. I also look intense as I have permanent concentration lines/creases on my forehead. I think this "intensity" is because my mind is constantly working/analsying/evaluating "what I have said to other people", and "what other people have said to me". I keep replaying social situations over and over in my head, thinking and writing about them repetivitely. It is an exhausting process, but I have to/need work it all out. Maybe it is because I have to consciously analyse the social stuff, that perhaps other NT people understand and react to intuitively.???
02 Oct 2012, 11:23 pm
02 Oct 2012, 11:33 pm
02 Oct 2012, 11:39 pm
outofplace
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03 Oct 2012, 12:20 am
conundrum
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03 Oct 2012, 12:28 am
03 Oct 2012, 2:44 am
03 Oct 2012, 3:44 am
