Aspie Women Setting Boundaries

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How do you set your boundaries in a situation where you are comfortable (let's be honest here: crazy about that person and they declare the same) with someone but it is completely inapropriate (like a professional collegue)?

And know that leaving the situation is not an option. I'm the only available backup/standin for a senior collegue who is not in the best health and has put her best hopes in me.

It's an emotional mine field for me because I am just being myself and in a lot of ways, following his lead which is completely ill advised to put it mildly because he is not concerning himself with the big picture in the least. And why would he when his mind and body are focusd on pesky erections? Ah, the tyranny of pheremones and brain chemistry!! !

Yes, I should have more self-control and conduct myself professionally, but when was the last time you knew of an Aspie with self-control in intense situations?

Why would it be inappropriate, are either of you married, for example? If not, I'm confused about why it would so wrong. Obviously, you should definitely not have sex *at* work (trust me, that's a terrible, terrible idea!) but lots of people have relationships with work colleagues, whilst still remaining professional at work. No-one except the two of you need to know that you are involved.

i am gonna add something. boundaries is where you limit yourself with gates up. you feel comfortable when you know the situation. i would say just not try so hard. my question is, what are you trying to say?

I think the OP means more professional and ethical boundaries. The problem people see with it is that it could cause conflict of interest or bias in office politic situations. Then there's the sticky situation if the relationship ends badly. A bad breakup can really destroy your working relationship too, and either one of you might be forced to resign.

I'm sure there's plenty of couples out there that are ok working together 5 days/week, 9 to 5 though.

I've found so far that tearing up the rulebook is the way forward. I think I could hack working with my partner and not worry about the work politics, or things getting too much

I agree wit Blue Bean. I have never been involved with anyone I worked with. Not that I can remember anyway. I have enough on my plate without risking my job if s**t hit the fan.