Do you have a fear of missed opportunity?

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I'm terrified of this prospect. I have a lot of dreams and ambitions, and I work hard to put myself out there, to seek out opportunities to advance my work as a filmmaker, and to meet new people and perhaps even find a lover. I mean, even when I'm exhausted from work, and I'm having anxiety attacks, I'll go out. Even if I don't want to do a job, if I'm asked, I'll usually say yes, because this could be THE OPPORTUNITY, and I can't throw it away right?

Currently I'm waiting in limbo to hear if a short film I made gets selected in this contest for the finals, which would mean a cash prize and a trip to Chicago for a big screening with a lot of people there including some celebs.

It would be a huge huge thing for me, and I get sick to my stomach thinking that I won't make the cut, which could happen despite my film being ( believe) legitimately great, inventive and full of craft and heart and honesty.

But the thing is every time I miss such an opportunity I spiral into despair and thoughts of self destruction, because I wonder, "What if THAT was my shot, and I blew it because I didn't deliver when I needed to?" What if that was going to be the moment where I meet someone who will fund my next project, or who might be a collaborator or a partner. What if I would've finally, at long, long last, met my true love? What if that moment was going to be the moment that changes my life, and sets me on my path to greater success and achievement?

What if that moment dangled before me was my SHOT, and it will never come again? I mean what if no matter what I do, how hard I try, that opportunity will always elude me? What if I'm destined to be a failure? It's enough to make me contemplate suicide. I mean if I knew now that the rest of my life was going to be one of failure and promise not met, and opportunities lost because I wasn't good enough, I'd readily kill myself to save the trouble of such a long, miserable life. Not to mention, a short tragic life might mean my work gets some kind of appreciation. Is death the ultimate opportunity?

I often think the same. And I still live in damn Russia where is not any opportunities at all. Especially for aspies. I can't make money like insolent people do, I can't buy own housing.. My only one dream is to visit USA, to see my best friend there.. but I think it is impossible, because it's too expensive, I know I will not able to do it. So, maybe suicide is the only thing to do.

I don't want to understand that I lived my life in vain

Fear of missing an opportunity means i blurt out all the details at once to new people - the irony is that it kills off the chance for long term friendship etc.

I used to.

Now I think that living only for career opportunity and dreams is a recipe for disaster or deep depression. I used to have this intense dream of making it as a fiction writer, spent all my off hours from work - evenings, weekends, vacation time - pursuing it, for about 20 years all told. As a result I lost opportunities to spend time with family members who are now deceased, with pets who are now deceased, and the pursuit of other interests that were almost as important to me but which I thought I had to give up to have enough time to write. It didn't turn out that I had a fiction writing career at all. I got very depressed for a few years after I finally quit.

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans." I see the truth in that much more clearly in retrospect. I don't regret missed opportunities to make money, be a writer, and so forth. I regret those things I didn't consider opportunities at all but just took for granted.

Dreams are fine, but getting carried away with them to the detriment of the rest of your life isn't. You need rest, down time, introspection, time to step back and evaluate, look at the big picture of your life, and time to just be ordinary and be okay with that.

Life isn't a contest, that's just what our money culture makes us believe. Life is experience, process, the journey, and what happens between achieving goals. Life is love, in whatever form you can give it (yes, I said give, not get), even if it's just loving a pet or thinking about an elderly neighbor who's lonely. Ambition isn't life. It's an ego-adrenaline trip. That's all.

Just my opinion, of course, based on my experience. Your mileage may vary.

Yes, this is a fear (or driving force) I've always had. I thought most people had that though otherwise there would be little impetus to exist.

I always feel as if I'm missing something. It's like a constant "the grass is always greener" vibe.

The only thing i can say is good luck..and i hope your dreams come true..it's always nice to have a happy ending..but it doesn't always happen like that...but at least you can sit back and say i tried and for me that would be enough..and then you carry on!..and be happy in doing what you love..making films..you know the saying..what ever will be will be.