Taking things too seriously/personally, need help

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CosmicTwilightEmi
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21 Dec 2012, 5:43 pm

I have a tendency to take things seriously or personally.

One time, I went for a walk and I heard this woman yelling at her kid in the car, and I yelled at her to stop doing that, and then she called me the B-word and drove off when the light turned green.

However, there are some noisy neighbors on our street, usually kids playing and roughhousing, which I don't really mind at all since it's what they do, and we know those kids, and their mother and grandmother, and they seem nice.

And when I take things seriously, they often lead to meltdowns. Is there any way to stop taking things seriously/personally?



dvvv
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21 Dec 2012, 7:31 pm

First of all, well done for speaking up against that woman. Don't think many people would have acted like you in that situation. It is maybe not surprising that the woman acted like that. So, there is a reason other than intending to insult you personally in that situation. That person was purely defending her bad act and lashing out at whoever tried to stop her venting her anger.

Maybe putting things in perspective like that will help? If you take something personally, tell yourself to think about that again in a couple of hours. For me, often I will then think "Actually who cares, this really didn't matter" and "they will have long forgotten about me and they won't even think about me anymore".

it's only natural that we take things personally. it's how long this bothers you that makes the difference. how long is this usually a problem for you or how long do you fret about it? when you say "meltdown" what do you mean?



CosmicTwilightEmi
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21 Dec 2012, 7:44 pm

dvvv wrote:
it's only natural that we take things personally. it's how long this bothers you that makes the difference. how long is this usually a problem for you or how long do you fret about it? when you say "meltdown" what do you mean?


Generally, they last until I go to sleep at night, and by meltdown, I mean having hissy fits.



soulburner
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21 Dec 2012, 8:35 pm

good job for yelling at that lady



Toy_Soldier
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21 Dec 2012, 11:44 pm

Don't let other people's problems become your problems.



dvvv
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22 Dec 2012, 5:53 pm

CosmicTwilightEmi wrote:
dvvv wrote:
it's only natural that we take things personally. it's how long this bothers you that makes the difference. how long is this usually a problem for you or how long do you fret about it? when you say "meltdown" what do you mean?


Generally, they last until I go to sleep at night, and by meltdown, I mean having hissy fits.


So sorry, I read your reply yesterday and meant to get back to you but then forgot. However, I just read this other thread here (http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt218890.html) which has "a guide to not caring". I quite liked that guide and it may be helpfull for you too. I don't think I take things very personally anymore, and I also wouldn't say I ever did to the extent of having meltdowns, but that's just me. I took on a "i don't give a f**k" attitude and that made things better.

basically, reflecting seems to help. when you feel something coming on or that something starts to affect you, it can help to reflect on that and take some of the steps described in that article. putting things into perspective. not sure whether this helps?

maybe you can feedback to us whether anything you tried helped. would be interested to know about any progress. :)



CosmicTwilightEmi
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11 Mar 2013, 2:10 pm

dvvv wrote:
CosmicTwilightEmi wrote:
dvvv wrote:
it's only natural that we take things personally. it's how long this bothers you that makes the difference. how long is this usually a problem for you or how long do you fret about it? when you say "meltdown" what do you mean?


Generally, they last until I go to sleep at night, and by meltdown, I mean having hissy fits.


So sorry, I read your reply yesterday and meant to get back to you but then forgot. However, I just read this other thread here (http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt218890.html) which has "a guide to not caring". I quite liked that guide and it may be helpfull for you too. I don't think I take things very personally anymore, and I also wouldn't say I ever did to the extent of having meltdowns, but that's just me. I took on a "i don't give a f**k" attitude and that made things better.

basically, reflecting seems to help. when you feel something coming on or that something starts to affect you, it can help to reflect on that and take some of the steps described in that article. putting things into perspective. not sure whether this helps?

maybe you can feedback to us whether anything you tried helped. would be interested to know about any progress. :)


A not caring attitude? I don't know, but I think I'll give it a try.