Do school bullies always become workplace bullies???

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During the past decade, I keep coming across articles and passages that yesterday's schoolyard bullies are today's corporate bullies.
And I've wondered how true that is, or what evidence has been offered to that effect (I mean, it's not like you're gonna interview the present-day adult bully, right?) - seems like broad speculation to me. Sure, you have to have a certain audacity that not everyone has or would like to have, you have to enjoy taking risks and not mind making enemies, so there are some parallels.

Growing up, when I dealt with many a bully, and sought counseling for the lingering effects, the counselor generally told me "well those people will never amount to anything" but I don't know. That seems like a weird phenomenon, that kid bullies either become the archetypical nobody (i.e. jail, janitor, club doorman, fast food & living in mom's basement, drug or alcohol addict drifting between odd jobs, etc.) or that they make it on the upper echelons of the corporate ladder. You might say the psychopath profile fits those who never "grow out" of bullying - but just remember, all psychopaths are bullies, but not all bullies are psychopaths.

From the handful of bullies I dealt with in my past, some of them in adulthood, they didn't turn out so well years later - not as well as I did as I managed to persevere in spite of difficulty and make it somewhere in life. One of them was living with his mom well into his 30s working menial jobs. Hardly somebody who would rise to become a corporate bully.

Obviously there is the gender difference to consider too...for females, who tend to bully less physically and more by passive-aggressive means like exclusion, gossip & rumours, posting nasty comments on facebook etc etc, I can see THEM (the female group leader) becoming the corporate byatch on the broomstick many years later. As another poster pointed out, women tend to get away more with bullying in the workplace ostensibly because HR is more staffed with women and we are more politically correct now than in the days of Mary Tyler Moore, not that I would ever want to return to those days (especially since they're before I was born).

For the boys who used physical intimidation, threats and force etc to get their way or embarrass a target in front of an audience, I can see them becoming the jocks of high school and maybe in a blue collar profession or sales later where they can talk sports, drink beer with co-workers etc - ok that's a bit of a stereotype I admit. But there is something to think about, studies have confirmed that men in upper management tend to be 3 inches taller than average, so maybe there is something about them enjoying the thrill of intimidating others and getting a high off that, but with school ending, how can they continue to make it happen legally. Just a thought.

Same here. They may be the big dog in school where they can decide who to bully, but in the real word they are nothing but little puppies.

They grow up to be workplace bullies and abusive parents.

I know of a schoolyard bully who was working in the same place I was and she was still a nasty bully and even the people who worked with her in her section didn't like her.

if not corrected early, a bully remains a bully until he or she pushes up the daisies.

The few I've come in contact with years later... a few became good people and good parents - most of the others had refined their nastiness into masterful passive-aggression in their homes and workplaces alike.

Last edited by BlueMax on 04 Feb 2013, 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nasty is nasty forever.

Mean people are hostile and obnoxious for life.

God bless their families!

Sylkat

People do have the capacity for change as they mature. Many do change and some do not.

Not always becuase sometimes they can die in a car crash before getting a job. Most of the time would be a better question.

agreed!

Bullies can change. When they get away from what makes them a bully they can change. A lot of bullies are being bullied at home and have self esteem issues so they have to bully someone to them is less of a person so they can feel better about themselves.

all the bullies i've seen had parents that taught them how to be bullies and encouraged them in it.

Interesting... but I suppose (in their minds) they have to continue the cycle or be forced to admit they were both bullied and bullying others. Some people will go to great lengths to convince themselves they're "in the right" - even creating a whole new reality to make it so. ANYTHING to avoid admitting they made a mistake... like people who will have innocent people fired or jailed before admitting a lie.

the bullies who bear false witness to get innocent others in trouble for no good reason, will have themselves some 'splainin' to do when they meet their maker, and they will get it back twice as bad. that's one of the commandments and one karmically risks one's next life when one messes with such. every failure of the golden rule gets met eventually with the iron rule.

Dear Auntblabby,

Very well said!

Sylkat

I don't really understand bullying, or when its happening. I have often been approached by people being bullied to stand up for them, even when I was growing up, grade school , high school, college, through to the present. I've always been big and very strong physically, but always was known as gentle Ben, except in a crises where I rose to the occupation, because I can harness and focus my strength. I later became a competition powerlifter. I've read the other posts and have seen examples of each. I've been to many psychologists and therapists to understand me better since I've always been different. I was just recently diagnosed with Asperger's which sometimes is given the label of sociopath which isn't true, we adapt by projecting how we feel about the world and how we see the world and don't see from other's points of view. Bullies are often seen as leaders in the coporate world and they are given leadership roles, giving them the power to bully and its even part of their role in the job position to "motivate". I am difficult to bully since I don't respond to emotional cues, even aggression, to get through to me the words have to be technically correct, like, I could kill you, to me means that you could kill me, not that someone is upset.