Thinking I may have screwed up

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So, when I went out with this aspie girl last weekend, I ended up paying for dinner and the movie, although she sort of offered to pay for herself, and I told her it was my treat. I've only known the girl for about 2 months, but only hung out maybe 3 times in those two months.

I'm sort of concerned that I may have screwed things up with her.... any suggestions?

You were both doing the "right" thing, I think. You were offering to pay, and she made a nominal attempt to pay, but gave in. Either way, she shouldn't be too put off by it, because buying dinner for either a friend or a potential girlfriend is okay by anyone's standards.

Yes but I've heard that little things like these can upset someone with Aspergers (depending on the person, but I've heard more often than not). For me, it wouldn't matter. I would just dismiss it and move on, but some may not. I say this because from all of my reading, little things like this can upset an aspie because most don't like surprises (although who would pass up a free meal?)

The second day when we got lunch, she did tell me she wanted to pay for her lunch, which, that time, I let her. She has told me that she doesn't want to be seen as someone who "uses" others for money, etc. I told her it was treat and that I didn't mind.

I'm just worried that this may have upset her, although she won't show or it say anything about it.....

With me, once I explain my reasons to them for whatever, to my way of thinking the point has been discussed and hashing it over and over again is a waste of time. She might be coming from that view.

If you want to do something that impresses her and solves the "who pays?" issue at the same time, try to learn her favorite meal and cook it for the both of you yourself if you can. If not, you can make deals with her; you order the pizza if she gets the ice cream or whatever. You want to do nice things that are believable - don't try to go over-the-top on the early dates. Use feelers: ask her "what would you think if I (XYZ)?" At the same time you'll know that if you did try something new it wouldn't be a total surprise to her

Here's another subjective question, though... how willing are aspie girls to "forgive" and forget and move on from there if you make a mistake like this as opposed to NT females? Is there a difference or is this basically depend on the person?

Personally, I never forget (because my brain is built that way), but I am always ready to forgive as long as I know the person is aware of their mistake, wants my forgiveness, and genuinely tries to not repeat that error.

If it was me in her place, I think I would prefer you communicate your feelings and intentions. I was always unsure of what was going on, and not confidant that the person I was with really wanted to be with me, or that I wasn't putting them off with every little thing I was doing. But not in a touchy feely, uncomfortable way. I like humour and an easy attitude.
And I would be monitoring your behaviour, trying to understand who you really are, (but I would not make it obvious), and I would be more comfortable with you being a bit predictable. If you tried to get too complicated with how you wanted to impress me, it would go over my head, and maybe stress me out. And I wouldn't like to feel obligated if you went too far with spending on me.
My husband just did whatever he wanted, and I let him if I didn't mind. The fact that he didn't make a 'thing' out of everything worked in his favour. But he always listened to what I said if I said I didn't like it, and respected that.

But she is not me. Just remember she may not be good at reading cues, so don't assume she will necessarily respond to hints or behaviours the same way other girls might. And if she says she needs a break, she probably needs a break, and is not necessarily dropping hints that she is tired of you.
For me, one of my pet hates is when someone misunderstands me and assumes I meant something nasty or ignorant and gets upset with me without at least asking nicely for clarification first. It really hurts and may take me ages to get over because I feel insulted. So avoid jumping to conclusions.

Good luck.

Did she do or say something that makes you think she's upset, or are you just second-guessing yourself? I think you may be overthinking the situation.

Also, I think one of the main things that makes men and women have trouble understanding each other is the tendency to assume that the way the opposite sex thinks is fundamentally different. Personally, I think the differences are mainly superficial ones, and that underneath it all the two aren't so different. I find women easier to understand and relate to by just thinking of them as people rather than as some sort of alien creature.

ok well... here's the thing. you seem to be trying to take her on dates without actually informing her that they are dates. in my opinion, you need to make your feelings clear because it's kind of misleading. it can lead to a misunderstanding where you are fully aware of where you think this is going, but she is not so aware. if you like her and know what you want, what is holding you back?

This. It will be much better for both of you if intentions are made clear. I remember about this time last year taking a girl I really liked (although I had just met) on a "date" and paid for the movie. Of course, I didn't realize it wasn't a date, just a casual friend hangout........You can save yourself a lot of heartbreak.

I guess my biggest concern is scaring her off or making her feel uncomfortable. I so much would like to express my feelings to her without being creepy or something like that . I sort of don't know where to begin ....

Maybe a small gift - inexpensive, but a hint (no not a condom )

Try to see what she likes and work with that. Add something to her collection, if she has one, or try to buy her some token in front of her, and if she refuses, take it gracefully and don't force it. She will note that you tried. Some stupid thing that they sell on the streets that she seemed to like. If she doesn't seem uncomfortable or anything, and it is not expensive, maybe buy it anyway and say if she doesn't want it, you can give it to your niece or whatever.

She will notice that you try, and that is sometimes a very good start. I never liked people being too pushy. After a while, it felt like I was doing them a favour to be gracious about it. Or worse, that you want to avoid them because it is getting too uncomfortable.
As long as you take 'no' well and don't push the issue, until she gives you a hint that it is OK, you should have a shot.

I would think if you sat her down, looked her in the eye, and told her how you feel before she is ready for that, you could blow it. Don't shine a spotlight on it. Let it sink in by osmosis.

That is what I think, based on me, not her. Feel free to totally disregard everything I say.

No gift, just tell her and see what happens. I would get gifts from guys who I had no romantic feelings for and it just felt awkward.