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Do you like to go on dates?
Yes!! ! 11%  11%  [ 4 ]
Yes, but only with someone I feel really comfortable with. 42%  42%  [ 15 ]
I like the thought, but actually doing it would be terrible. 17%  17%  [ 6 ]
Sometimes... 11%  11%  [ 4 ]
Noooo!! ! 19%  19%  [ 7 ]
Total votes : 36

tiffninja
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19 Feb 2013, 5:11 pm

I have a problem with getting asked out on dates A LOT...I hate it!! I had a guy follow me into Barnes & Nobles the other day just to ask me out, not cool! I don't understand how some guy just walking around a store, sitting at a coffee shop, etc...that I've never even met feels compelled to come up and ask me out...I instantly want to respond with this Vince Vaughn quote from "Wedding Crashers"- "I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation people like to call dating."

Does anybody else have trouble with this?? Does anyone have any suggestion on how to say "no" to these guys in a "socially acceptable" way?? (I'm a terrible liar so I can't say I'm in a relationship or anything like that...) I have one that's gone too far, where he asked for my number and I couldn't think of anything to say so I just gave it to him and now he texts and calls me...I'm sure after a few weeks he'll give up...



qawer
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19 Feb 2013, 5:16 pm

Perhaps you could suggest starting out with him giving you his phone number...

later, if the interest was there you'd write him, otherwise you wouldn't (-;



Wolfheart
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19 Feb 2013, 5:28 pm

Wow, tiff, you are a fox. I know I would be pretty damn flattered if I were you. :P



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19 Feb 2013, 5:29 pm

Oh yeah, where was I? use "I have a boyfriend".



Kurgan
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19 Feb 2013, 5:32 pm

Just say that you don't date random strangers just like that. It's the truth and generally speaking, noone but the Leisure Suit Larrys of the world are going to blame you.



Mindslave
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19 Feb 2013, 5:37 pm

Just say "I'm really not interested in going on a date". If he persists, then tell him you appreciate his gesture, but you aren't interested. And if that doesn't work...kick his nuts...just kidding. Guys are convinced that they have to convince women to go on dates with them. The thought doesn't occur that women can decide on their own who they like.



nessa238
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19 Feb 2013, 5:45 pm

Just treat him like a cold caller knocking at your door trying to sell you something you aren't interested and say 'Sorry, not today thank you'.



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19 Feb 2013, 5:55 pm

"I'm flattered, but no thanks."


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


nessa238
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19 Feb 2013, 5:59 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
"I'm flattered, but no thanks."


No

That gives him hope

You want a clear message of "I am not interested in you AT ALL, now leave me alone" without the risk of provoking an aggressive
response

You're under no obligation to respond full stop - pretend you didn't hear or didn't think he was talking to you and just walk away quickly



Who_Am_I
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19 Feb 2013, 6:09 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
"I'm flattered, but no thanks."


No

That gives him hope

You want a clear message of "I am not interested in you AT ALL, now leave me alone" without the risk of provoking an aggressive
response

You're under no obligation to respond full stop - pretend you didn't hear or didn't think he was talking to you and just walk away quickly


I don't see how it gives him hope. It's saying no without being a jerk about it.
"f**k off," would be more clear, but we're dealing with people who actually have feelings here.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Meistersinger
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19 Feb 2013, 6:11 pm

Kurgan wrote:
Just say that you don't date random strangers just like that. It's the truth and generally speaking, noone but the Leisure Suit Larrys of the world are going to blame you.


Now there's a person I haven't heard of in quite a while.


To those of you who are not old enough to remember, "Leisure Suit Larry" Laffer was a character in a series of games put out by Sierra Online back in the mid-'80's. lets just say the series were meant for mature audiences.



Kurgan
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19 Feb 2013, 6:15 pm

Meistersinger wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
Just say that you don't date random strangers just like that. It's the truth and generally speaking, noone but the Leisure Suit Larrys of the world are going to blame you.


Now there's a person I haven't heard of in quite a while.


To those of you who are not old enough to remember, "Leisure Suit Larry" Laffer was a character in a series of games put out by Sierra Online back in the mid-'80's. lets just say the series were meant for mature audiences.


Apart from the fact that he's usually succesful in the end, he's a lot like the guys who buy into the PUA stuff. :D



nessa238
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19 Feb 2013, 6:18 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
"I'm flattered, but no thanks."


No

That gives him hope

You want a clear message of "I am not interested in you AT ALL, now leave me alone" without the risk of provoking an aggressive
response

You're under no obligation to respond full stop - pretend you didn't hear or didn't think he was talking to you and just walk away quickly


I don't see how it gives him hope. It's saying no without being a jerk about it.
"f**k off," would be more clear, but we're dealing with people who actually have feelings here.


She's entered into conversation with him and by saying she's flattered it implies she might like him

These types will cling on to any bit of encouragement eg talking to him!

I've never been asked on a date by a stranger in public like that and if someone did I don't think I'd take them seriously anyway - I'd think it was some kind of piss-take.



Who_Am_I
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19 Feb 2013, 6:22 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
"I'm flattered, but no thanks."


No

That gives him hope

You want a clear message of "I am not interested in you AT ALL, now leave me alone" without the risk of provoking an aggressive
response

You're under no obligation to respond full stop - pretend you didn't hear or didn't think he was talking to you and just walk away quickly


I don't see how it gives him hope. It's saying no without being a jerk about it.
"f**k off," would be more clear, but we're dealing with people who actually have feelings here.


She's entered into conversation with him and by saying she's flattered it implies she might like him

These types will cling on to any bit of encouragement eg talking to him!

I've never been asked on a date by a stranger in public like that and if someone did I don't think I'd take them seriously anyway - I'd think it was some kind of piss-take.


I don't see how "I'm flattered" means that you might like someone. All it is is acknowledging that they said something nice.
If they persist even after the clear "No", that's when you start getting more blunt.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


nessa238
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19 Feb 2013, 6:30 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
"I'm flattered, but no thanks."


No

That gives him hope

You want a clear message of "I am not interested in you AT ALL, now leave me alone" without the risk of provoking an aggressive
response

You're under no obligation to respond full stop - pretend you didn't hear or didn't think he was talking to you and just walk away quickly


I don't see how it gives him hope. It's saying no without being a jerk about it.
"f**k off," would be more clear, but we're dealing with people who actually have feelings here.


She's entered into conversation with him and by saying she's flattered it implies she might like him

These types will cling on to any bit of encouragement eg talking to him!

I've never been asked on a date by a stranger in public like that and if someone did I don't think I'd take them seriously anyway - I'd think it was some kind of piss-take.


I don't see how "I'm flattered" means that you might like someone. All it is is acknowledging that they said something nice.
If they persist even after the clear "No", that's when you start getting more blunt.


Imo it does

Some men would see it as a challenge to continue the chat up



aspiesandra27
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19 Feb 2013, 6:38 pm

I would never say "I'm flattered" if I wasn't. What's the point in lying in a situation you are mainly interested in getting out of?

You can still be polite and assertive without leading the guy on.