Help Me Understand This

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Not sure if anyone here can help me understand this communication pattern with my Aspie x-boyfriend who is now a "friend" but I still hope that one day he and I will try again in a relationship. I am dating someone new right now, and my x is not. But mine isn't a serious relationship and I am not sure about this new guy and am taking it very slowly. We haven't gotten very physical because I am not ready and really still have such strong feelings for my X. Anyhow, I was in a bad car accident last week (car totaled but no one went to ER) I called my X and asked him to come to come to the scene of the accident. He lives nearby. He did come and was a real hero at the scene. He is such a competent person. I thanked him for his emotional support and help. But afterwards I got this email.

I am the go to guy and anytime you need help call.
Talking is tough and I guess I don’t know if this happened or not but your boyfriend should have known first about the accident.
I can talk about this but I’ve been busy and haven’t had a chance to talk with you about it. I’m just a bit worried about you.

When I offered to talk to him (because I read this to mean he wanted to talk) he didn't respond. This is the second time this has happened. He will seem to suggest that there's something to talk about, but he won't say he wants to talk.

In the Aspie's mind sometimes, like it was with mine many many years ago, it goes a little something like this:

In the mind of the Aspie, everything is taken in a literal sense. Now, of course he knows you are dating someone else and has to convince himself not to get too involved. Saying you have a bf that should have been called first instead of him is probably him taking your new relationship in a literal sense. What's complicated here is your feelings for the Aspie and I hope you haven't told him yet without ditching the new date. Of course, it sounds like the Aspie is communicating some feelings to you in that e-mail. However, it's just a hunch here that he won't reply because he is busy, or because (and I suspect this is likely) he actually believes that you are getting serious with the new boyfriend.

He also may not want to be the cause of a break up.

If he still has feelings for me and has some interest in a relationship wouldn't he not want me to be serious with someone and make an effort to let me know what his feelings are by talking? As opposed to suggesting talking but not saying we should get together to talk.

You and I are both lost on whether he actually wants to talk about the two of you or not. But it does sound to me that he has some moral code that he doesn't want to break... the code likely has something to do with your new boyfriend.

Exactly. I've been in his position before (not exactly the same, but very close). In my case, I wanted her to be happy regardless of how I felt. I worried that letting her know about my feelings would make her feel conflicted. Through a roundabout way, she did find out and she did feel conflicted and guilty for feeling conflicted. It was the last thing I wanted.
Resolution: I realized that we were better as friends than anything else and I eventually convinced her that this was the case. We are both happy now.
Issue: Her boyfriend and I are always on edge around each other because of this. He is aware of what happened, except for the details of the resolution. We both know I'd win in a fight, but I wouldn't put it past him to try anyway. I foresaw this potentially occuring when I decided not to say anything to her.

Your X could be in a similar bind.

Why you broke up in the first place?

Yeah.. see it could be a situation where he feels that if you don't "Need" him anymore as a boyfriend you obviously still "need" him when you have trouble and can't deal with it on your own.. which is a pretty good way to make some one feel very under appreciated or taken advantage of.. that's probably not how you intended it.. but it does kind of come across that way.