Strange Girl Behavior (not NT)

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I started texting a girl from OKC. She wrote two normal-length messages there but would always text with one word responses. This means "go away," right? But I broke protocol and texted her again 2 days later to ask what she was doing, and she said "looking at sex toys," then reverted to 1-word responses.

But she happened to mention that she had ADHD, so I just asked her if I could call, and we talked for 1 hour, and she agreed to go out with me at a specific place and time.

But I don't get it: Is it her ADHD that makes it difficult for her to text, or is she just playing some game and leading me on? I like the idea of going out with someone who is not NT, who thinks differently, and has overcome challenges, as I have, but I don't like being toyed with either.

I'm attracted to emotional, dramatic (maybe a little crazy) women with very high social intelligence (basically the opposite of me, except I'm a little crazy and unstable in my own way...). Unfortunately, I've hardly ever had the privilege of learning my lesson by dating one.

I know someone with ADHD - one of his traits seems to be excessive verbosity but not necessarily with his written stuff. He isnt v capable of playing games and just says what he thinks regardless of the social consequence. I would judge by what she agrees and ends up doing with you not the interim bits (i.e texts) - I might be wrong but I thought elaborate gameplaying to be more the province of NTs (and Im not saying ALL of them are necessarily like that - just more capable of it)

I think "go away" is the only thing that means "go away", and it seems like she's interested in you from what you're saying... maybe you're over-thinking it?

Personally I prefer to reply in one-syllabled answers when texting because I hate typing on the phone and usually can't be bothered to reply in full length.

I'm guilty of that too. It takes me too long to think about what to say in a text, so I usually just get to the point. Then I get distracted before I write more. But I can talk a lot. And I probably have ADHD... Gosh, I didn't know that that was an issue

I'm starting to read a book about ADHD and it said that those with ADHD have trouble aligning their intentions and their actions. Look at her intentions instead I guess?

Oh, and don't ask questions that can just be answered with yes or no, if you're doing that. Ask open-ended ones. It forces her to write more than just one word.

Last edited by deltafunction on 23 Feb 2013, 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

In all fairness, the one word reply could mean anything, and it doesn't necessarily mean much. It's the no reply that could mean 'not interested.' The one word reply usually means in my case "Too busy to talk right now." There is a small ratio of people where the one word reply actually means "not interested," but these people are far to passive to actually express how they really feel and think some subtle hint will get you to go away.

Open ended questions aren't good for me. I need people to be very direct or I miss the point. So not sure that is a good suggestion?

She's not aspie, she's ADHD, so it's different, she may get the point without being directed. If it were me, I would answer with what I thought the person wants to hear, so I would answer with yes or no if I was asked a closed-ended question. If I were asked an open-ended question, I would elaborate more, and it can be a segway into a conversation.

Everything I was told and heard and learned from experience has confirmed to me that NTs act similarly. I can understand if it's different for you. I don't know if the OP is asking closed-ended questions or not, but if he is, it would explain one-word answers.

You have a point Deltafunction

Hmmmm....now she texts me all the time. I guess it means she wasn't really interested but decided she liked talking to me after our phone conversation. Maybe calling instead of texting a girl is better anyway. I am NT over the phone.

I am a little bit autistic in person, NT over the phone, but I am extremely autistic in writing.

I think I got super spergers in every medium.

However, one time my sister's friend IMed me and my sister was there and saw the convo was like "Wow, you sound...cool, over AIM."