NT girl here just looking to muse about something

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It might come as bit of a shock (or maybe not?), but I've always found myself attracted to those with AS or at least clear social deficits. I'm in college, what I like to think as attractive, am in a sorority, but I have no interest in any of the stereotypical fraternity guys that I come into contact with.

Just a few months ago, I ran into a boy with AS who was lithe, attractive in a boyish sense, and incredibly snarky. He wouldn't look me in the eye, and I was overwhelmed with how much I found his whole being endearing. I really can't go a day without thinking about him, despite the fact that he rather bluntly told me, at the end of our conversation, that the likelihood of him remembering my name or even me was slim.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm disheartened that there aren't more guys like this—at least, there aren't at my college. I go to a large university where there are 40k+ students, and being in a sorority always has me interacting with the guys that I have absolutely no desire to get to know. The guy handing me drinks and whispering obscenities in my ear can't hold a candle to the AS guy I met months ago.

Maybe I'm a bit odd. I don't know. But I just wanted to muse about it.

Last edited by personas on 05 Mar 2013, 11:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Supposidly there are aspie dating websites.

Youd be a hot commidity on any I would think- being a nt college female who likes aspie guys.

You blessed creature you...

Do you know much about aspie men? I'd be the first to admit that while a lot of us are frustrated that most women don't give us the time of day, most of us also probably know at least one girl who took interest and got repelled . Probably the most off-putting thing to NT women is our obsessive habits, which can lead to a tendency to send a hundred texts when we don't know that it's a bad time (I've worked on that). This gets mistaken as being stalkerish.

But yes, most aspie guys would give their right arm for someone like you, who not only is attracted to intelligence or innocence, but is actually also compassionate. It's the absence of the latter than usually undoes the former.

Last edited by clonazep on 05 Mar 2013, 11:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Are there really? Well that certainly sounds better than holing myself up in the library and waiting to bump into one on the history floor (I adore history).

Of course. Anyone who has trouble getting a date has a website with their name on it. NT guys have enough trouble themselves, obviously aspie men would too. Although many aspies do remain single for their youth, for some that is a preference while others not.

I know as much as I've been able to find out without actually having had extended periods of contact with them. I had an AS friend in high school who would come up to me, start a conversation, and then walk off as soon as he felt that that he'd said what he'd intended to. I thought it was amusing.

I'm enamored by all the quirks and mannerisms of those with Aspergers. The meeting with the boy I described in my initial post flustered me greatly—I was incredibly attracted to him. He talked about how girls show too much skin in outfits these days. I asked him what qualified as too much skin, and he—unabashedly—pulled down the collar of his shirt to show me his bare chest. It still flusters me to this day to think about that encounter.

It's sad. I'm newly 20, and I would love to meet any young AS guys that were interested in pursuing, at least, the idea of creating a relationship. Or a friendship that could naturally develop, if such a thing would happen. I calculated, given the prevalence of Aspergers/High-Functioning Autism, there might only be around 125 individuals diagnosed with it on my campus. I was extremely crestfallen because, while I am attracted to those with AS, I do still appreciate good looks and differences in personality.

Hi, I just wanted to point out that he probably doesn't mean he doesn't like you or want to get to know you, many of us tend towards being face blind and can't recognise people very well or at all, whether we like them or not. I have often warned people that I probably won't recognise them the next time we meet, if you see him again, introduce yourself and remind him of where you met before and what you talked about to help trigger his memory, you might find that it helps

We don't have any classes, and I randomly bumped into him on campus. Where I go to huge, so my seeing him again isn't very likely. I did, however, see him eating on a bench a week or so after our encounter and I so desperately wanted to say something, but I was afraid he would think I was odd, especially if he said he wouldn't remember me. His face is a bit hazy in my memory, now—it's incredibly sad. I really did want to get to know him.

Last edited by personas on 05 Mar 2013, 12:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's a shame things have got so late, but my advice still stands if you happen to see him again, even thought the likelihood of either of you remembering is reduced.

It's probably useless advice, but all I suggest is that you try not to dwell on it, you seem like a nice girl and I'm sure that with patience you will meet the right person for you.

If you do meet someone with AS you like, make sure you ask him out. It is unlikely that he will do so, particularly if he has a sense of trying not to be creepy. A lot of aspies are pretty invisible too.

I go to a similarly sized state Uni and hardly ever see anyone with visible AS

Is there a way that I'll be able to tell that he likes me? Enough to go out with me, at least.

I have a few in my higher-level history classes, but I'm not physically attracted to them as I was the boy I met a few months ago. But I do know that the likelihood of me meeting any others in an intimate/running-into type setting, especially one that I'm attracted to, is incredibly unlikely.

Unlikely. We aren't too keen about expressing things like that openly, at least those of us who aren't creepy. If you guys hit it off, why not just go for it? If he has visible AS, he probably doesn't have women falling all over him, and he may not be completely sure what he wants either. There's a 90% chance he would say yes if he's single, unless he's one of those poor deluded souls who thinks he's entitled to a tv model (not saying you're not one, I don't know you, just using this as an example). But the latter isn't worth it anyway.

It is hard meeting people at a college like the ones we attend. So props to you for trying.

I have a thread up about this, aspies tend to be late bloomers. Teenage years to early twenties are celibate, and then they become frustrated that their age group is moving past the stage of dating and into marriage and kids. He'd probably thrilled to be asked out idirectly, instead of having to be rejected. Just make sure you don't embarrass him: don't bring up whether he lives at home or if he has a job, drives, etc.