Where should I go to meet women?

Page 1 of 3 [ 48 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

concretejungle
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

10 Mar 2013, 2:41 pm

Where should I go to meet the kind of women who would understand an autistic guy? It's obvious to everyone that I'm weird but I can't find a woman who will look beyond that and see what a "weird" guy can do for her. Even if a girl doesn't see it right away, she will talk about me to others and they will tell her that I come across as weird, and then through no fault of my own I will be left with no chance with this person. Normal people are painfully boring anyway….



minervx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155
Location: United States

10 Mar 2013, 2:45 pm

Wouldn't be easier to just work on being understandable and relatable so you could meet people anywhere?



concretejungle
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

10 Mar 2013, 2:48 pm

I don't know. I can relate to people but some of them will still get sniffy about my weird mannerisms or whatever.

Anything short of absolute social perfection is looked down upon. There's plenty of loud ass guys ready to run around spouting off stupid s**t. However hard I try I'm not going to be that person.



uwmonkdm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 764
Location: Canada

10 Mar 2013, 2:50 pm

concretejungle wrote:
Where should I go to meet the kind of women who would understand an autistic guy? It's obvious to everyone that I'm weird but I can't find a woman who will look beyond that and see what a "weird" guy can do for her. Even if a girl doesn't see it right away, she will talk about me to others and they will tell her that I come across as weird, and then through no fault of my own I will be left with no chance with this person. Normal people are painfully boring anyway….


Are you saying that because you're bitter that you've been rejected, or do you really mean it?
If you really mean it, then you're approaching them with an attitude that you don't like them, you are projecting that sort of attitude and bound to get rejected, obviously.

That aside, I would try online, or somewhere that involves some of your interests (the more obscure the better - if she's there she's probably a weirdo too right? :lol: )



concretejungle
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

10 Mar 2013, 2:54 pm

I'm probably just bitter. People have been calling me weird my whole life and I always just assumed they were full of s**t. But now that it's happened with so many different people I know it's me. I didn't know I was autistic before so that kind of helps.

But why should I change my whole personality just cos typical people cant spend an extra 5 minutes being understanding?



uwmonkdm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 764
Location: Canada

10 Mar 2013, 3:09 pm

concretejungle wrote:
I'm probably just bitter. People have been calling me weird my whole life and I always just assumed they were full of sh**. But now that it's happened with so many different people I know it's me. I didn't know I was autistic before so that kind of helps.

But why should I change my whole personality just cos typical people cant spend an extra 5 minutes being understanding?


Because people are a**holes.
I'm asocial so I don't care that I'm "weird"
Your best bet is to just hangout with other weirdos. I'd suggest starting at the local university's math faculty. I swear half of them are aspies :?



fueledbycoffee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 566
Location: Baltimore

10 Mar 2013, 3:10 pm

concretejungle wrote:
But why should I change my whole personality just cos typical people cant spend an extra 5 minutes being understanding?


Mainly because you're asking them to do something for you, to step out of their comfort zone, put forth the effort and patience required to deal with someone on the spectrum. Then there's the social stigma, having to explain to family why you couldn't just get a "normal" guy, having to constantly stick up for you, etc. And asking that isn't wrong. However, you have to be willing to meet them halfway.



Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,539
Location: Europe

10 Mar 2013, 3:22 pm

uwmonkdm wrote:
concretejungle wrote:
I'm probably just bitter. People have been calling me weird my whole life and I always just assumed they were full of sh**. But now that it's happened with so many different people I know it's me. I didn't know I was autistic before so that kind of helps.

But why should I change my whole personality just cos typical people cant spend an extra 5 minutes being understanding?


Because people are a**holes.
I'm asocial so I don't care that I'm "weird"
Your best bet is to just hangout with other weirdos. I'd suggest starting at the local university's math faculty. I swear half of them are aspies :?


Really?



uwmonkdm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 764
Location: Canada

10 Mar 2013, 3:30 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
concretejungle wrote:
I'm probably just bitter. People have been calling me weird my whole life and I always just assumed they were full of sh**. But now that it's happened with so many different people I know it's me. I didn't know I was autistic before so that kind of helps.

But why should I change my whole personality just cos typical people cant spend an extra 5 minutes being understanding?


Because people are a**holes.
I'm asocial so I don't care that I'm "weird"
Your best bet is to just hangout with other weirdos. I'd suggest starting at the local university's math faculty. I swear half of them are aspies :?


Really?


Is that a really, like, I shouldn't have used 'weirdos' and 'aspies' in the same sentence... or really as in, really?

But yes, really. At my university everyone I met in the math faculty was painfully socially awkward.



kate123A
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 536
Location: the twilight zone

10 Mar 2013, 3:38 pm

and let's not forget the university chess club and engineering club.



meems
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,869

10 Mar 2013, 3:38 pm

If you're actually in a concrete jungle then depending on what city it is, there might be aspie meet up type thingies. I'm not sure which sites are reliable for those things but I've heard great stories on the WP facebook groups. Also... online seems like the best answer but it's vague... I'm not even sure I could ever recommend a dating site as they mostly seem full up with... I'm not sure how to describe them... normal, I guess normal is a good way to describe them... normal people.

Yeah, other than that, school.


_________________
http://www.facebook.com/eidetic.onus
http://eidetic-onus.tumblr.com/
Warning, my tumblr is a man-free zone :)


Growlithe
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 183

10 Mar 2013, 6:20 pm

-Church. Church can be a good way to meet women if you're religious.

-Get a job where you have to work with people. Especially a job where you work a lot of women.

-Dating websites



Thats all I got.



MXH
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain

10 Mar 2013, 6:30 pm

I can't think of a single place where it'll be acceptable to meet women for dating and that would have women accepting of people with the difficulties encountered by most on these boards.

My advice, work on yourself. That way any place can be the right place



1000Knives
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,036
Location: CT, USA

10 Mar 2013, 8:03 pm

Outside.



aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,303
Location: Canada

10 Mar 2013, 8:32 pm

I read the comments about you feeling bitter and the response back. Everything said holds a degree of truth to it. You saying your bitter tells me that you don't like people because of it. Is it worth it to have the thoughts that make you feel so bitter? Do you want to be happy? Why worry about what others think? Change the way you think and feel about yourself.

I should also add that you don't need to answer those questions on this forum, but give yourself some honest answers to those questions and take as much time as you need.



rabbittss
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Dec 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,348

10 Mar 2013, 9:57 pm

aspiemike wrote:
I read the comments about you feeling bitter and the response back. Everything said holds a degree of truth to it. You saying your bitter tells me that you don't like people because of it. Is it worth it to have the thoughts that make you feel so bitter? Do you want to be happy? Why worry about what others think? Change the way you think and feel about yourself.

I should also add that you don't need to answer those questions on this forum, but give yourself some honest answers to those questions and take as much time as you need.


This along with what you said on my topic makes me wonder, how exactly do you change these things?

Cause I want to change them, but I can't see any way to change them. There is no fuse that's blown or breaker that's tripped that can be simply replaced or switched back. It basically would require me to completely remake who I am and I'm not willing to do that.

I've made enough concessions in my life at this point that I'm not willing to make anymore.. when I was 7-14 all I wanted to talk about was Transformers and Power Rangers and anything with a giant robot in it.. I eventually learned that wasn't acceptable but unfortunately I replaced it with something which on the surface is more respectable, reading, but bungled it by WHAT I was reading, Fantasy Novels. I replaced one completely socially unacceptable special interest with another, I then began slowly replacing that with History, Sociology and Anthropology books, But it seems the only socially acceptable special interests I'm allowed to have are Sports, Cars, and Hunting & Fishing. At least in my part of the world.

Being into History and stuff is okay if you're elderly.. but a young person is only supposed to be into young person things. apparently. The problem is that the young person things between "Too old for toys" and "Old enough to like reading abotu world war 2" seems to be filled with stuff that to me is so uninteresting I just cannot possibly make myself care about it..