What do you think of my mum's judgement?

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I wanted to finally talk to my mum about my suspected autism of some form. So I was discussing with her online personality tests, and got her and my younger brothers (both aged 14) to take the EQ-SQ test, after I discovered I am an extreme systemiser. So, we took it and compared results. Their EQ and SQ scores are all equal, or near enough, whereas mine had a difference of 59 points out of 100, which is pretty high a difference.

We then talked about my childhood. By age 2, my mum said to be that she said I would make a good librarian. Why? Because I was lining up, collecting and categorising my toys at that age. She then moved on to say I was probably somewhere on the autistic spectrum. She says that to me 13 years after she saw signs of it? So I showed her how my systematic score had a mention of Asperger's, and she said "see".

Later, I ask her why I haven't been diagnosed yet, because that's a sign of autism, right? She responded "you're too high functioning.. mostly, I think". I assume she's referring to the fact I do well in school. Hasn't she ever thought of HFA or AS as a possibility? Or to at least take me somewhere, and be certain it's nothing much. I really want her to realise I probably am autistic, but I have no idea how I convince her. Any ideas, or is it just me overreacting? I do show other signs, and score at least 45 on the AQ test, and AS=178 and NT=20 on the aspie test, as well as low on the facial emotions tests. Should I tell her this? Or will she still disregard it as "borderline autistic" and not care?

Tell her that this really matters to you. Tell her that high-functioning or not, you feel different and that it might make a major difference in how you see yourself and how you see the world if you knew why you were different, if there was a name for it. My mother always acted like I was just anti-social and "weird" to spite her and her social aspirations, and I always felt like I was "broken" or deficient somehow until I was diagnosed on my own at 20. If was amazing to know there was a reason I was like this.

Ah ok, thanks, that was actually really useful. My mum views me as "weird" or "strange", or just calls me a "nerd", "geek" or "swat" and just dismisses the fact that there is probably a reason for all this. Like she gets mad at me for not having friends and never going outside. If only she understood how difficult it is if, even with escalated attempts to seem normal, fit in and be polite, I can never befriend people properly. I only have one online friend, and he's autistic. I can relate so well to everything he feels, and it just makes me think about my own place on this spectrum. I haven't told my mum about that, though. Maybe I should, but she'd probably tell me he's some adult trying to trick me or something.

I understand where you are coming from. i am a very high functioning person. I have an almost perfect GPA, some friends, and I am very good at sports, even playing on the Philadelphia Union (an MLS soccer team) youth academy team. All this added up to me not being diagnosed with autism until about a month ago. For my whole life I have felt different, and trying to interact with my peers is agony. But i realized something recently, regardless of diagnoses, the important thing is never the official name for what is bothering you. So while I encourage you to pursue an official diagnoses because professional help has been a blessing in my life i will say this. The wonderful people here at wrong planet are an amazing network to be connected to if you ever feel alone. The important thing is finding people who you feel comfortable with and beginning to talk and work through the things that hinder you.
I hope this helped, feel free to pm me if you want to talk

A lot of people think that autistic means low functioning, especially older people.

Parents can also think it is their fault or be very embarrassed if one of their children is not perfect and a bit strange.
They can think it reflects on them.

The question is how important is it to get an official diagnosis? You seem to know what you have, and are on the road to find out more about it.

Here at WP there are an amazing group of people to help you come to terms with what you are, and discuss any issues you may have.

Have confidence in yourself.