I don't feel Aspergery

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When I read hear about people having social issues, stimming, obsessions etc... I sort of look in disbelief.

I mean, I have aspegers, I'm not the greatest at socialising, I enjoy being alone, I love music, but I don't seem to have all these excessive issues you's have.

I mean, I used to, in a dark time of my life, be "typical" aspergers weird. But now, i'm always mistaken as a normal guy, I mean, at my course (my current form of education before polytech) I get along fine with all the druggy's and "popular" people. They haven't got a problem with me, and vise versa.

I guess you could read this as a success story? I dunno. "Is there anybody out there" (pink floyd reference) that's similar?

Two Things:

1) As least for me, there are seasons when it's stronger and it's more noticeable. Fatigue is a massive influence on this.
2) It appears to be one of those things that we might just not be able to tell with any level of certainty whether we are, in fact, being aspergy. I notice that when I am in a good mood I think I am less aspergy than when I am in a bad mood. However in both cases I am likely acting the same.

Adaption happens but, at the end of the day, it's still there.

Go to a packed supermarket alone for a few hours and see how you feel.

Benny (Ima call you Benny), I'm in a similar boat.

I don't really stim unless I'm severely anxious, and otherwise I don't feel terribly asperger-y. But I am diagnosed, and very recently, and by all accounts, my story is one of progressive improvement from a kid to today. As it stands, I still get really socially anxious, I still have anxiety problems, and I still have a lot of difficulty engaging people. A lot of people I know just thought of me as "lovably eccentric," to quote a friend of mine from college, but the basic structure of HFA/ASD/Aspergers, or whatever you want to call it, was there: a lack of understanding of the back-and-forth of conversation, a history of anxiety problems, trouble making and keeping friends, difficulty engaging in age-appropriate social groups, difficulty understanding, expressing, and articulating my own emotions, difficulty reading body language, and that near-constant feeling of being lost in groups of people, where things seemed to be happening around me, even as I tried to participate.

Most of these are things I couldn't have articulated until I started reading about Asperger's. I knew I wasn't normal, but I always just thought I was sort of a weird guy. I never felt like I was *different*, ya know? Never felt aspergery. But it's there all the same.

I do not think I would ever use the word 'aspergery' to describe myself....I certainly struggle with issues associated with it, but I think I will stick to terms like autism spectrum or aspergers syndrome.

I don't feel "aspergery" except for when I'm talking to/arguing with NTs and they use a construction that I don't understand. There are two extremely disrespectful girls that I'm "arguing" with and they both insist on insulting me at every corner. It's getting on my nerves.

I'm convinced I don't actually have AS and was merely made to fit the label by the psychologist evaluating me, and that I should have been diagnosed with NVLD instead. I know there can be some overlap between the two, but I feel more "at home" in the NVLD category than I do the Autistic Spectrum, which is so vague it could apply to almost anyone with a neurological difference. It's one of the reasons I don't post much on these forums anymore; I often feel like a hybrid, neither NT nor Autistic, just a gray cloud of confusion.

In short, I empathize with you, OP.

Its not how aspergery (or aspergerish) you feel. Its whether or not you are in aspergetory!