No one around me interests me for dating

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I have come to the conclusion that no one where I am I like enough to try to date/courtship. What's sad is that the kind of people I would enjoy dating seem to be in other states - Florida, Texas, California, Washington, Maryland. I have 4 years at my university, where I don't think I fit in/can grow.
So, what can I do? It is admittably stupid to change colleges for romantic reasons, but I've never even dated someone, and to wait to even date someone until I'm 24/25 seems likewise stupid.
Damn me for being odd/having a specific personality that I like.

Join the club. Also, don't come to California unless you are rich. You'll die penniless on the streets due to the cost of living.

<--- Was homeless in L.A. Slept in his car in the daytime at a park in Los Feliz and at night in the parking lot of the West Hollywood Public Library.

I've got the corollary of that problem. I'm not an object of interest for anyone for dating in my immediate area and never have been.

There are no eligible ladies in all of Pittsburgh?

For the record, you're 19. You have plenty of time to find a lady.

What is it about your criteria that the locals don't fit that people in those other states might?

There's got to be someone at your school, or in the area, that's compatible.. even if just for dates for the sake of practicing social interaction w/o the intention of developing a long term relationship.

Or you could focus on your studies and stop worrying about this stuff, and if a date or two or ten come along, so be it. There are a lot of people who intentionally don't date anyone through college simply so they can focus on their studies & summer jobs/internships etc, so that wouldn't exactly be abnormal.

But time flies, so it's comforting to know you're at least getting some experience to stand on. There's always time, but it's painful to feel like you're going nowhere day after day.

I would love to dat but i have fear of getting out of the house

welcome to the club. every women I met that has a similar personality or a common interest are always married or in a relationship.

I heard alcohol helps, but wait till you're 21 You're 19 with 4 years of college ahead of you... This is the time you need to be active in the dating world. Never mind looking for the one, because there will be plenty that you feel that way about and they will all rip your heart out.

I'm having the same luck as you, none at all. My reason is similar to yours since I'm living in Little Rock, AR.
Everyone here pretty much knows each other, or of each other. Here it's more like 1-2 degrees of separation.
The intelligent women are taken here, the rest could line up side by side and form a wind tunnel.
That said, I'm moving after my lease ends this summer.

Don't worry about a specific personality. Just find a woman you're attracted to that's tolerable. You need practice first! Otherwise you'll find a great one and blow it.

I know the feeling. I go to a huge university, and haven't had any feelings for another person. I've even seen a lot of attractive men, and have befriended several others. I don't know why I don't feel emotional attraction toward anyone these days. I had random crushes all the time in high school. I even have quite a bit in common with my male friends that I have met during school. Sometimes we even talk about celebrities we find attractive, and bits about dating. I could never see myself in a relationship with any of these friends. I would try casually dating if someone asked me out, but I haven't met anyone yet that I would want to ask out.

If you can't find anyone that interests you, I would join student groups to find people that have something in common with you. If you're in college, I'm sure there will always be opportunities to meet new people. You could also try asking women out to coffee to get to know them. This is a lot less stressful than asking someone on a more intimate date. It is casual and you can just talk. Friends go out to coffee all the time. Developing feelings for someone usually isn't a rapid process once you are out of high school.

Why do people always assume this? There are young people who know what they want and don't have the interest, time, or energy to waste dating a bunch of random people.



Terrible advice, and cruel to the potential dates. Sure, just use people for practice, it's not like they have feelings and expectations or anything. And is this "practice" with lukewarm feelings even useful? I expect things will be quite different when the OP finally finds someone he's crazy about.

Yeah, it would be really stupid. If you'll be rushing to find love and 'anything will do' for you... believe me, you will never experience what love is. You're just a kid now, it might seem idiotic what I say but you'll grow up one day.

Calm your hormones and try to be more altruistic. Give without expecting. Look into the world with healthy eyes and while trying to overcome your fears a miracle might happen.

Well, apparently fate has a sense of humor - a growing closer to a friend of mine than I expected. I think I'll let things be - if it develops, it develops. Perhaps I made my criteria too specific (out of fear of ridicule) and thus skipped over this friend. Ironically, she's from Cali. Sort of realised I like her - she's the first person I want to impress by being me rather than my mask.

I just hope my creative mind can overcome my awkwardness if/when I do date.

(the rest of this is in reply)

I didn't realise that people waited on dating until they got through college. That's reassuring.

Pittsburgh's issue is city - I'm better/less nervous in the country. Knoxville's is the lack of diversity - those who are diverse, intelligent, and not someone's favorite leave for better places in my experience. The other states, from what I understand, have a bit of all kinds of people.

It is not a rush that I was worried about - it is more the "chained down to the same crowds" that I am worried about - Idealist Green Equal-sided Brain Aspie Pagan Engineer does not fit in well. Right now, it is expressed as concern over dating.

As for altruism, I am at a mixed roads to that - my "altruism" means service to others and philantropic help. It is a thing of honor - no chief should die wealthy and without giving back to the community. To go further would require me to give up on my dreams that motivate me in order to be a tool - a doormat - for everyone else. I'm not doing that.

Can't do the alcohol. If something is cooked with alcohol and even the slightest amount is present, I start retching.

Einfari, I will take the advice on joining a few groups. Makes me wish the Creative Anacronism club wasn't defunked, but there is KGB...

Go have fun doing things you like to do with other people who like to do those things too. You might just find someone fun to hang out with.

And I've been in that situation, then I realized that I was only attracted to distant people because I was actually afraid to enter a relationship closer to home. You may or may not be afraid, but this problem makes me wonder if you aren't somehow sabotaging yourself for some reason?

That said, I've embraced distant and cyber interactions--for a lot of reasons they just work for me. I actually read this because the title sounds like where I'm at with relationships. Emotionally, I don't want them just now. Physically, well, it would be nice, but not worth the energy to slog through all that...intimacy, connection and 'audition of acceptable partner' crap. It's where I'm at now, but I wonder if this is forever and if others have found this sort of 'meh' to dating stasis.

It's a Burgh thing!

In Pennsylvania we have three major exports, our coal, our timber and our youth!
When you turn 18 and graduate from school, you either have to get a job, get married or go off to school.
With half the population being female - most of them opts to going to school.
They leave and they don't come back.
Which means to find a decent lady, you have to find them when they are young,, you have to train them like a dog, and then you have to keep them on a short leash - else they will run and someone else will find the already trained one and you will be S.O.L while he will think that all women from your neighborhood is like her!

Until you turn 21 about the only recourse you have is to cruise the middle school.
After you turn 21, you will find that the bar flies are nothing more then the ones that no one else wanted / or that there is something wrong with them and that is why they are by themselves.

Find yourself a fat woman - she will provide shade in the summer and warmth in the winter!
She won't be as inclined to run off - because she probably can't catch anyone else!

>>>> Big trucks / Fat Women! <<<<<