"Get yourself a date then."

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I had sent a whole group of friends a text message asking what everyone was doing tomorrow since I was planning on going to a nice place in my city. Two of them got back with me. One of them said that they might be going to the movies. I sent them a private text message and said that I had a season pass and then a free pass for a guest for the location. They then responded with what was said in the title above.

I just said "Okay," and left them alone after that. However, it did manage to make me cry.

My friend started dating someone and such for a few weeks and has declined two of my invites now. So I have been backing off and just inviting him to group things. Otherwise, I have decided not to bother to contact them because I might drive myself to getting jealous.


I mean, I am not even looking for a special someone or finding a lot in life. However, I am looking to spend time with my circle of friends.

Anyway, should I mention anything about this situation?

Yes I have gone through that over the years-people I like to hang out with treat me like a 3rd/5th wheel and people that are couples do not hang out with people that are single-no for lack of trying to find a person-I have tried and though I like a lot of people no one want or likes me-it is very frustrating being alone sometimes

I've had both extremes. One of my friends would hang out almost constantly sometimes, but whenever he was dating I would never see him at all for months. With one of my other friends I often hung out with them, even during their dates. Some opposite gender friends tend to not hang out at all when they were dating, probably due to jealousy issues (presumed or otherwise), this could be a similar case here. Almost everyone has a different way of handling dating and friends, so it isn't something I've found easy to predict. It can be difficult for sure though, both of my main friends are married now and it is relatively easier to hang out on any sort of basis vs when they were dating, but not near to the extent pre-dating though. I see them maybe once every month or two now vs once or twice a week.

For me, it is not a huge deal since I have some singles groups to do things with and associate with them and then my other friends as well.

The point is, he made that huge deal out of me seeking a date for tomorrow and this is not that case. I just want to find someone to associate with who will bring me up and observe the scenery and not the other.

He on the other hand has been wanting a special someone for a long time and I think he is really wanting things to work out and I hope it does. Another part of me feels that he is doing this for the wrong reasons just for the sake of having a girl on his arm. Then again, I don't feel it is an excuse to go and treat me like that.

I'm sure glad I'm incapable of getting dates for dating's sake! I don't even like to think "date." I like to just go after being really good friends, because there's less pressure and more authenticity that way! I would like any relationship I get to be built on close friendship, rather than a desire to "get a girl" (or her desire to "get a boy!")

That being said I'm still not 100% sure how I want to define "relationship"...

I talked to a neighbor and a few other people about my friend.

One of them expressed with me that he probably was using me because he was lonely and then when he met someone, all of his other friends got kicked.

I have been friends with two other people like that in the past and that is when I happened to see what type of people they really were.

The first girl happened to be a child-hood friend who began to loose interest in me when I was 12 and then when she started dating at that age, she just had no desire to me be with me. In fact, she started seeming to view me as if I were some sort of joke.

The second was a girl who I had met through an Autism Center at some of their groups. She and I associated until she moved away and went to a vocational school for 9 months and started dating. When she graduated and moved back, she never seemed to have time for me while everyone and everything else was more important. Yet, she managed to call me on the phone.

I sorta know what you mean. You know how guys say "Bro's before ho's"? Well there is no "Chicks before dicks" equivilant that really means anything. I've been at my best friends house, me and her sitting around talking, maybe drinking some wine and some guy calls and she's all like "You gotta go, I got a boy coming over". Well, way to throw me to the wolves, huh?

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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I remember years ago I met a friend in the shopping centre we had arranged to have a few hours after work to just walk around the shops well anyway after about five minutes she said to me "You can go now I'm meeting my boyfriend in a minute" I was annoyed for a long time after that.

I've tried inviting people to do things with me but they never respond to me. I assume no one has time for me but they have time for their friends which kind of makes me mad.

If people include their friends, they should include me since I am their friend.

There have been times when I've wanted to raise hell about that "3rd wheel" situation, because it always happens to me. I'm not quite sure if walking away and catching some fresh air is going to solve anything anymore...

@OP, when that proposal comes out, I always have this bad habit of my head freezing up and then trying to resort to excuses before being blocked by a simple "I can't."

I don't think I have been thrown out of someone's house for a boyfriend or had even had someone invite me over just to be dumped because their special someone was coming to meet them.

I have had it when I would call up my childhood friend after she started dating and had her tell me that she was waiting for him to call her.

I remember being ticked at her for that too.

Then another time, she and I made plans for me for her to come over and spend the night and she said that she was coming too along with her mother agreeing to it. However, when it came to calling to confirm the time of the same day, she and her mother both blew me off by asking me to call her back in 15 minutes because she was putting her make up on. I called back and they were not home. So called an hour later, her mother answered and said that she went out with her boyfriend.

Some of these relationships are unhealthy, with one or both parties insecure and emotionally dependent upon the other, terrified of the prospect of losing him/her... those kinds of relationships tend to be the ones that shut out other people. I think most of this insecurity stems from either feelings of unlovability (like nobody else could possibly want them) and/or societal pressure to have a relationship (aggravated by PDA!)

story of my life

It is hard to come to terms, that whenever they find their mate. that I have to accept that I am now de-prioritised in their life. I can understand in some way since they want to give it their all to their relationship. But now that I back off, they all of a sudden feel that we should hang out again. Like one of those things they say, "Hi, how are you" then followed by "we should hang out" when in reality this will never happen in the near future or the way they make it sound soon. It doesn't. I guess it is just part of getting older and they are moving on with their life.