21 Apr 2013, 6:33 pm
MXH
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21 Apr 2013, 7:51 pm
21 Apr 2013, 8:59 pm
Kaufmancab51
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Joined: 2 Sep 2008
Age: 33
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Location: Rochester, New York
21 Apr 2013, 9:18 pm
blueroses wrote:
I'm still kind of recovering from the worst social encounter I've had in a while, involving some guy very aggressively hitting on me at the Laundromat tonight. Without going into full detail, he was very much an alpha-type NT, yet did almost everything wrong that he possibly could have. It almost felt like he was deliberately trying to make me uncomfortable.
When it was over, the first thing that crossed my mind was the Love and Dating Forum on WrongPlanet and all the guys I've seen on here over the years who've been so hard themselves for not knowing how to approach women or have 'game' or whatever people are calling it these days. It makes me sad because a lot of people struggle with this stuff and just make it up as they're going along. And, we're not the only ones who get it wrong sometimes.
There's something to be said for guys who are genuine and sincere, different and interesting. (How many threads have there been on here about various NT girls who are obsessed with one of you and trying to figure you out?) I wish a lot of you guys wouldn't worry so much about trying to mold yourselves into something you're not, especially when it's something a lot of women don't really want you to be anyway. /rant
When it was over, the first thing that crossed my mind was the Love and Dating Forum on WrongPlanet and all the guys I've seen on here over the years who've been so hard themselves for not knowing how to approach women or have 'game' or whatever people are calling it these days. It makes me sad because a lot of people struggle with this stuff and just make it up as they're going along. And, we're not the only ones who get it wrong sometimes.
There's something to be said for guys who are genuine and sincere, different and interesting. (How many threads have there been on here about various NT girls who are obsessed with one of you and trying to figure you out?) I wish a lot of you guys wouldn't worry so much about trying to mold yourselves into something you're not, especially when it's something a lot of women don't really want you to be anyway. /rant
I'm sorry, but when most of the college women out here are attracted to this:
and I can't fight all of my fears to build up enough confidence to try and find someone, the end result is being harsh on myself, or worse, just giving up entirely.
Last edited by Kaufmancab51 on 22 Apr 2013, 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
21 Apr 2013, 10:15 pm
21 Apr 2013, 11:47 pm
22 Apr 2013, 12:05 am
MXH wrote:
blueroses wrote:
I'm still kind of recovering from the worst social encounter I've had in a while, involving some guy very aggressively hitting on me at the Laundromat tonight. Without going into full detail, he was very much an alpha-type NT, yet did almost everything wrong that he possibly could have. It almost felt like he was deliberately trying to make me uncomfortable.
When it was over, the first thing that crossed my mind was the Love and Dating Forum on WrongPlanet and all the guys I've seen on here over the years who've been so hard themselves for not knowing how to approach women or have 'game' or whatever people are calling it these days. It makes me sad because a lot of people struggle with this stuff and just make it up as they're going along. And, we're not the only ones who get it wrong sometimes.
There's something to be said for guys who are genuine and sincere, different and interesting. (How many threads have there been on here about various NT girls who are obsessed with one of you and trying to figure you out?) I wish a lot of you guys wouldn't worry so much about trying to mold yourselves into something you're not, especially when it's something a lot of women don't really want you to be anyway. /rant
When it was over, the first thing that crossed my mind was the Love and Dating Forum on WrongPlanet and all the guys I've seen on here over the years who've been so hard themselves for not knowing how to approach women or have 'game' or whatever people are calling it these days. It makes me sad because a lot of people struggle with this stuff and just make it up as they're going along. And, we're not the only ones who get it wrong sometimes.
There's something to be said for guys who are genuine and sincere, different and interesting. (How many threads have there been on here about various NT girls who are obsessed with one of you and trying to figure you out?) I wish a lot of you guys wouldn't worry so much about trying to mold yourselves into something you're not, especially when it's something a lot of women don't really want you to be anyway. /rant
Well as much as I want to agree there lies a problem, ill have to use an analogy.
Let's say you're an original artist. And your originality stands from making paintings out of poop, using different foods and animals for color. While chances are there's bound to be someone out there who likes it there's more chances you'll never find such person interested in your art. So instead of being a pennyless poop artist you start doing flowers in normal colors and at least some people appreciate this.
I'm not saying that guys here make poop drawing or anything like that, but that originality isn't always in a good thing
MXH I totaly understand your analogy and where you are coming from. It gave me a chuckle.
22 Apr 2013, 12:22 am
ThetaIn3D wrote:
Screw game, just boldly be the best version of yourself and let the chips fall where they may. You don't want to end up with someone who doesn't like the real you.
!
!
22 Apr 2013, 12:39 am
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
ThetaIn3D wrote:
Screw game, just boldly be the best version of yourself and let the chips fall where they may. You don't want to end up with someone who doesn't like the real you.
!
!
Seconded
The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Apr 2013, 12:46 am
22 Apr 2013, 12:54 am
Tyri0n
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Age: 39
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22 Apr 2013, 1:12 am
IlovemyAspie wrote:
MXH wrote:
blueroses wrote:
I'm still kind of recovering from the worst social encounter I've had in a while, involving some guy very aggressively hitting on me at the Laundromat tonight. Without going into full detail, he was very much an alpha-type NT, yet did almost everything wrong that he possibly could have. It almost felt like he was deliberately trying to make me uncomfortable.
When it was over, the first thing that crossed my mind was the Love and Dating Forum on WrongPlanet and all the guys I've seen on here over the years who've been so hard themselves for not knowing how to approach women or have 'game' or whatever people are calling it these days. It makes me sad because a lot of people struggle with this stuff and just make it up as they're going along. And, we're not the only ones who get it wrong sometimes.
There's something to be said for guys who are genuine and sincere, different and interesting. (How many threads have there been on here about various NT girls who are obsessed with one of you and trying to figure you out?) I wish a lot of you guys wouldn't worry so much about trying to mold yourselves into something you're not, especially when it's something a lot of women don't really want you to be anyway. /rant
When it was over, the first thing that crossed my mind was the Love and Dating Forum on WrongPlanet and all the guys I've seen on here over the years who've been so hard themselves for not knowing how to approach women or have 'game' or whatever people are calling it these days. It makes me sad because a lot of people struggle with this stuff and just make it up as they're going along. And, we're not the only ones who get it wrong sometimes.
There's something to be said for guys who are genuine and sincere, different and interesting. (How many threads have there been on here about various NT girls who are obsessed with one of you and trying to figure you out?) I wish a lot of you guys wouldn't worry so much about trying to mold yourselves into something you're not, especially when it's something a lot of women don't really want you to be anyway. /rant
Well as much as I want to agree there lies a problem, ill have to use an analogy.
Let's say you're an original artist. And your originality stands from making paintings out of poop, using different foods and animals for color. While chances are there's bound to be someone out there who likes it there's more chances you'll never find such person interested in your art. So instead of being a pennyless poop artist you start doing flowers in normal colors and at least some people appreciate this.
I'm not saying that guys here make poop drawing or anything like that, but that originality isn't always in a good thing
MXH I totaly understand your analogy and where you are coming from. It gave me a chuckle.
Or, it's possible that the market for expert paintings of normal-colored flowers is oversaturated, so your poor and clumsy attempts at joining in will never find any buyers. Then, you'd risk being along too, unless you found either a desperate buyer or sold in a market with exceptionally low quality.
Either way, there is a risk of ending up without a buyer. Determining the circumstances under which you are least likely to be unsuccessful and then picking the other one is probably a strictly individual determination.
Also, there are consequences for selling flawed products fraudulently, both in commerce and in dating. I have been the recipient of some of these proverbial consequences -- actually, 8 times.
The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Apr 2013, 2:38 am
22 Apr 2013, 4:53 am
spongy
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22 Apr 2013, 7:01 am
22 Apr 2013, 7:16 am
MXH wrote:
Well as much as I want to agree there lies a problem, ill have to use an analogy.
Let's say you're an original artist. And your originality stands from making paintings out of poop, using different foods and animals for color. While chances are there's bound to be someone out there who likes it there's more chances you'll never find such person interested in your art. So instead of being a pennyless poop artist you start doing flowers in normal colors and at least some people appreciate this.
I'm not saying that guys here make poop drawing or anything like that, but that originality isn't always in a good thing
Let's say you're an original artist. And your originality stands from making paintings out of poop, using different foods and animals for color. While chances are there's bound to be someone out there who likes it there's more chances you'll never find such person interested in your art. So instead of being a pennyless poop artist you start doing flowers in normal colors and at least some people appreciate this.
I'm not saying that guys here make poop drawing or anything like that, but that originality isn't always in a good thing
Best analogy ever.
But, there is a difference between noticing something isn't working and changing your medium from poop to watercolors and noticing something is wrong and giving up on being a painter altogether and becoming a used car salesman.
Likewise, there is a difference between trying to become the best version of yourself possible and getting a little more polished, so you can be more confident and 'read' better, and subscribing to some of the macho, PUA crap (no pun intended) that sometimes gets circulated around this forum under the guise of dating advice and making a fool out of yourself.
