What should I do?

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I've been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for three years now, but the big issue I seem to be having is opening up to her more. The biggest issue we have is spending time together. She'll ask to do something with me and I get irritable and decline her often. Like for example she got a box copy of the game TERA Online for me to play with her, but here's what happens: I'll level a character with her for a bit then get bored once the character is at a certain point and go level another character without her playing with me. She gets upset about this and doesn't seem to understand why I would play with people I don't know over wanting to play with her.

Also, I mentioned that I feel like spending time with her is an obligation, like I have to do it or else. "If you are in a relationship with someone you HAVE to do this." It's not that I don't want to spend time with her, its that every time I spend time with anyone I need time to do something alone to recover. We also had made plans to see movies together twice and I ended up going to a movie with my mother instead. I had completely forgotten that we made plans until after I told her that I saw the movie. Like with The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp I saw that with my mother even though she wanted to see it with me and she was upset with me, but the night before that I was talking about Johnny Depp and she got mad that I was talking about him instead of paying attention to her when she could have used that moment to remind me that we were going to see the movie together.

I began to suspect I had Asperger's when I came across information about females who have it, and we did talk about that. But she thinks I don't have it and I know she does. But she has ADHD and before she told me she saw a professional about it I believed her, but it feels like the fact that I haven't seen someone about me having this condition possibly she doesn't think there is anything wrong with me. I can't really talk to her about it either. Also, trying to explain how I feel about things is difficult when it comes to her. She also tells me that I push her away because I object to spending time with her whenever she asks and now she's saying she won't ask at all and I tried to offer to do something with her after she got done with class but she objected and said no. I don't know what to do here. I don't know how to be close to another person because I know this might sound bad but I don't feel a need to be attached. She asked me what would I do if she stopped talking to me for 2 or more years and I told her I would figure she was busy with her life and that I might contact her every now and then and she didn't like that answer. It's like I'm supposed to jump up and tell her I'd be super upset and worry and all that but honestly I wouldn't worry too much if it is a span of time that long.

I would try to talk about these things with her, but I can't seem to get the words out and she gets the wrong idea every single time. What should I do?

Being in a relationship means you need to spend time with other person.

You can need and request personal space, but promising to do something with your significant other (SO) and then forgetting and doing it with someone else does not send a message that you truly care about your SO. Not keeping your commitments is terrible and to some aspies says you lied.

If you really like your SO, you are going to have to put on more responsible behavior, and spend time regularly with your SO.

I feel the same thing about feeling that if she stop talking to me i would feel like bad but not like horribly upset. i would be lonely and wonder why. but it wouldn't like destroy me and she gets all upset.

And how is your sexlife?