Please Read; This Is Vital!

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I may not have told anyone on here about this, but 10 days ago, my mom went into cardiac arrest and had to be airlifted to a hospital out of town, and she seemed to be getting better at first, but now, the upper parts of her brain have no activity, and the hospital is about to take her off the ventilator tomorrow, but there’s only two choices:

Have her breathe on her own (which is risky), or put her on a trache and keep a tube in her stomach (which is long-term). Which one should I choose? Please help me decide as there's not much time.

As she apparently has not left a DNR on file, the questions you have to ask are:

A) What are the chances of recovery if she does breathe on her own?

B) If she recovers, what will her quality of life be like? and, C) Would that kind of life be acceptable to her?

I know it's impossible to feel certain about the right decision, but you know her as well as anyone. If she were able to talk to you right now, what do you think she would want you to do?

I'm very sorry you're having to deal with this. I wish you strength.

Oh man , I don't want to give advice on stuff like this.

Look , just do what You think Your Mum would want.

No way I could either.

Whatever you do, you will make the best choice that you can. Noone can ask any more of you.

I don't think I can add anything to what Willard said. It seems sound advice to me.

I hope that there is a positive resolution to this situation for your mum and for you.

I would go with the tache. It gives her more time to recover, and it is not that intensive of a proceedure. She may not be the same when she recovers, but it does not look like she is incapable of recovering.

Thank you very much for the support, but we're taking her off the ventilator because she's pretty much dead, even though her heart was still beating and the machine made her breathe.

I'm sorry Cosmic Twilight. You sound to have been blessed with a loving parent you loved in return, and it is so hard, losing someone we love.

I'm so sorry for your loss. If you need to talk, please know there are plenty of people here willing to listen and offer support.

Then again, I'm not really sure because friends and family are sending prayers through Facebook.

I would give you my opinion, but it is a cold and painful one, so I need your permission to post it.

Better yet, I'll PM it to you (with your permission), but you may not like it.

Did she make her wishes known verbally to anyone? I assume their is no living will that gave instructions (?) Many people say they do not wish to be keep alive on life support, when there is no chance of recovery. I think most would agree a brain damaged state where they are essentially unconcious is not a recovery. In fact nearly all I have spoken to on the subject said that.

I do not see any wrong choice here. So whatever you do be at peace. I would lean towards no life support and letting the end come naturally.

I am sorry

I would say that you have to look at the quality of life and if there can be a recovery. Brain damage unfortunately is often permanent. If keeping her alive means keeping her in a vegetative state, is there any real value to that life?

Disregard what I previously had thought, because my mom has been doing a lot better since the last brain scan she had after last Tuesday's visit. The visits made by me and my brother helped. She's getting the trache and will possibly get better in a couple of months. Sorry for not getting around to updating earlier...

No worries. I'm glad she's getting better.