How old is too old?

Post Reply New Topic

This topic is not only to show opinions, but also to give advice. At what amount of years older or younger than you do you draw the line at allowing yourself to get into a relationship with someone?

For me, I once had an interesting but troubled friendship with someone over 3 years younger than me. But I knew it'd never work. We didn't even know each other in person!! I preferred to think of him as more of a brother.

But lately, I've been having different thoughs about age difference. There are some people I know at college who are over a year older than me, and yet I still have in interest in some of them.

But I've made up my mind now. I've decided that I'm not going ot date anyone over 3 years younger than me, and over 2 years older than me. That's based on someone else I've spoken to a few times about music and stuff, but I think he's over 2 years older than me, so just no. I don't think my parents would approve of me having an older boyfriend anyway.

It gets less important the older you get. I'm sorry, but I had to laugh when you suggested that a year older seems like too much of a difference. But I agree when you are 17 years old 3 years younger is too young (is it even legal?)

I would consider 5 years younger than me, and I suppose 10-15 years older (doesn't fit the same answer I gave in the other thread similar to this, but these would probably be the 'hard maximums', where previously I was dealing with ideals).

To much older than me and I have to consider what the far future might be like if we connected well, if she is thinking about retirement when I'm 40 then that might be a little strange, also with a near-guarantee that I would probably outlive her significantly (barring accidents or terrible illness), that could make the death and my position in my own life that much more difficult to handle.

If they are both consenting and legal... age is meaningless... sexy is sexy... I am 39. My permanent partner is 34. My playmates are (a sexy) 54 year old, 29, 22, and 19

You're a wee bit young to have to worry about that kind of thing terribly much. You'll probably change your opinion in the next two or three years.

I don't see any issue dating someone who is legally old enough for a physical relationship with anyone he/she wants to date. I had a gf while doing grad studies who was 18 while I was in my early 20s. I had marginal involvement with a young actress in community theater nearly 10 years younger than me--there were kissing scenes and we were trying to get past some on-stage weirdness. My wife knew about it, and it was cool…so that hardly counts as "dating." Had I been single, I might have pursued it on more romantic terms.

The WEIRD part of it was I had known the girl since her early teens, and all this happened while she was in college. When you're older and you know younger people that it's OBVIOUSLY wrong to get involved with, it's hard to think of them as more than just babies when they do grow up. It's not so weird if you just met. If it's someone you've known for a LONG time and are good friends with their folks, then you've got awkwardness with the parents. So…you can date someone MUCH younger than you (well, YOU can't, but most adults can), i.e. it's POSSIBLE. There's nothing technically wrong with that, but if something feels weird, you probably shouldn't do it even if you can!

The flip side: I happen to be attracted to much older women. At my age (mid 30s), I think my cut-off would be about 30 years older. I just couldn't be attracted to anyone older than that. If I had it to do all over again and hadn't met the love of my life already, I'd be a certified cougar hunter.

I guess my point is you're attracted to who you're attracted to. The only down side I guess to going 10+ years in either direction, particularly if you're a woman dating UP, is you might have more of a risk running into older guys who are just creeps. Someone closer to your age is less likely to give off that whole creep-vibe.

Unless you're just after money. You CAN always look for some octogenarian who hates his kids and is looking to screw them out of their inheritance. Things could turn ugly if he's one of those that lives to be 100.

I like men who are my age or older, I don't like younger at all. Not while they are wild and sowing their oats. I like responsible men who are ready to be serious. My current age preference is 30-45. But I can go older if they are still healthy and hot.

Were I unmarried, I would probably date up to age 30 or so. I'm 23, so that's 7ish years. I would want someone in the same "stage" of life as me.

Legality depends if they they are more than 3 years apart or not & if they are it then depends on the state but would tectonically be illegal in most but it still doesn't really matter if the younger is a teen & her parents are kewl about it & in Louisiana the cops won't do anything if the parents go to them about it if the younger was a teen & wasn't forced or anything.

Personally I tended to go for women younger than me & never really considered women older than me. I didn't think older was too old but rather I didn't really consider the idea due to me being younger mentally & younger was more likely o need emotional support which I could provide so I'd be more useful & appealing to them. I would of been happy that a woman was interested in me if an older woman would of came on to me.

It really depends on the two of you.

The following is for 18+ only, you being 17 dating a 14 or 15 year old is iffy given the quite big difference in emotional maturity.

Generally speaking I see couples that have a larger age difference to be happier than those that are close to their age group. Those who marry within their generation (+-5yrs) tend to have higher divorce rates and conflicts. Couples where the woman is with a man 10 or more years older tend to be much happier and much more relaxed and stable.

I think this is because the men do mature emotionally much slower than women plus 'the early years' for guys the gnawing instinct is to spread the joy around not to settle down. In contrast women around 20 to 24 tend to look for someone to settle down with (eventually) more than just-for-fun.

Rule of thumb I'd say any male under 28 for the most part will just want to get into your pants as the prime reason for having a relationship. Above that they're looking for a wife more than just a girlfriend/friend with benefits/nothing serious.

The happiest couple I know has a 14 year difference. He's 37 and she's 23. Both always say its the most argument/issue-free relationship they've been in. They're getting married this coming July. Most other people I know that married people around their own age are already divorced.

If they are under 18, avoid.

I prefer 21+, and age top range 31-32 (I'm 28)

You're 2??? You SICK FREAK!

[/kidding]

It's going to vary person to person depending on who their attracted to and what their personal moral code says on the matter.

Personally, I'm only attracted to guys younger than me - or at least that appear younger if they're the same age. How young is too young for someone I'd consider dating? I'm not sure. I found myself asking myself that this weekend as I met a guy that's legal age, but significantly younger than me. I've only met him once, but we'll likely meet up again & I found myself wondering if I might have to decide whether I'd date him or not in the future.. and if his age might be a deal breaker because of others' perceptions of our relationship as potentially inappropriate. But then again, if I meet him again and again and it ever did turn into more of a dating relationship then that might mean that there's a relationship spark there that should be given a chance regardless of what anyone else thinks. It'd be up to him & I if we proceeded to have a relationship, I suppose - but still, I acknowledge full well that it would likely turn some heads. Meh, I wouldn't be the first guy in the world to date someone much younger than me. Hell, the exact same scenario has been played out in pop culture tv series countless times ffs - it might not even be thought of as that big of deal.

But that's all just completely speculative. I have no idea if we'll ever date. And I do know I still have the biggest crush of my life on my closest friend, and that if he ever wanted a relationship with me that I'd jump at the chance. Having that crush, even though it's just a crush and we're just friends, sort of keeps me from dating anyone else because I feel like I wouldn't have my head & heart in a relationship if I knew I had my crush on my mind. That's one of a few reasons, anyways. The others mainly being that I haven't had my stuff together for a few years and am finally now making forward life/health/work/financial progress and need to continue focusing more and more on me and my goals vs. distracting myself from all of that with dating. So, even contemplating dating this young guy may just be a silly thinking exercise 'cause I'm not sure I would if I could. lol I guess time will tell - he did, after all, ask if we could meet up again sometime.

I guess what I'm trying to say is there are no rules & to each his own - even if that means breaking or rewriting your own rules as life happens and you learn more about yourself and what's right for you.

You like what you like. It's different if you're 17, obviously - my best friend is 23 and his girlfriend is 18. It seems like a big age gap but they're both happy and both like each other a lot, so who cares?

I'd just feel uncomfortable with anyone over 2 years older than me, and I can't help thinking of those even just a year younger than me as MUCH younger...

That will change over time

At your age, they are. Mentally and emotionally.

Rule of thumb for 'equivalent' maturity, Female equivalent to male:

At 10 she is the equivalent of an 15 yr old male
At 15 she is the equivalent of an 19 yr old male
At 18 she is the equivalent of an 22 yr old male
At 20 she is the equivalent of an 25 yr old male
At 25 she is the equivalent of an 30 yr old male

This is why in my opinion women do tend to select men that are older than them by a 'generation' (+5~15 years). Being in a relationship with a guy that is their own age feels like dating someone emotionally and mentally younger than she is..because he IS. Men grow up slower than women.

You may not feel this now, but when you reach 22'ish you won't be looking so much for a guy to party or have fun/good times/sex/etc but rather for one that 'is going somewhere' and you can look forward to having a long term or lifelong relationship with. At 20 (even at 25) the guy will still be stuck in the party/good times/sex mentality..because usually these date girls 18 to 20.

Many girls I know feel very comfortable dating a guy 10 or 15 years her senior because 'the BS and drama' is gone and the guy tends to be attentive to her needs rather that his needs. Its a more 'on the level' relationship... a more emotional connection rather than just physical.