The odd man out

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What I find most frustrating and depressing about my existence is I do not for whatever reason do not fit in. Everything for me has to be a mental exercise and I can't simply enjoy life. I am just a strange enough person that I don't have any friendships with normal people but I am just so normal I cannot stand to be around the weird people who are attracted to me. My associations with normal people are polite superficial acquaintances and those with the weirdos makes me feel like a fugitive on the run.

I have virtually the same interests as alot of people but I bring too much thinking to it which seems to put people off.

If anything I blame my ADHD, if I did not have ADHD I may be a little more normal because I would have better control of my Autistic tendencies; I wouldn't be so damn clumsy in social situations and make childish idiotic mistakes.

My other problem is that most of my answers are so Laconic they completely go over everyone's head which is why people are constantly misunderstanding me. I sometimes try to make a joke with my answer but that just seems to piss everyone off . Im not sure why because I don't mean to be insulting, my sense of humor is way out of sync with everyone else I suppose.

I just feel really depressed that I don't have a solid core group of friends with whom I can travel with and do fun random stuff which I enjoy very much, when I was invited to go along either I really hated it and was bored or I would get way too excited and say something really stupid which would kill the moment.

I am sick of seeking advice and tired of constantly monitoring and modifying my behavior in real time. It is so hard sometimes I just loose my grip and have to start over.

I am older and wiser but I feel as though I have missed my chances already. I have learned so much about acting normal and have actually developed a better sense of social grace and timing. I could have made alot of friends in college but I missed or destroyed so many of those opportunities I am stuck being lonely.


I am seriously considering moving to bigger city just to see if I can find people who occupy the same middle path as I do,but I don't know if I ever will have the money and the courage to do so or if it will work out as I hope.

I hope you can take some cold comfort from the fact that you are far from alone in your existential travails. welcome to the club everything you say resonates with me.

I am 23 and a girl but I also relate a lot to this. I say things which seem so strange and out of tune with other people, so I've become more silent and blunt as opposed to verbally humiliating myself again. I would rather be seen as too serious than a complete weirdo or creep.

Even so, I still am seen as weird by maybe 90% of people I know. The other 10% haven't spent longer than 10 minutes talking to me.

I have found much wisdom in the old saying, "tis better to keep silent and a fool be thought, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

I know what you mean, about feeling rejected by "normal" people, and feeling like your only pseudo friends are weirdos. I've felt that way for a long time, but it bothers me less now than it used too.

You talk about "normal" people seeming fake. That's because they are. Nobody is truly normal (how can you even define that?). The only normal people are the ones who are so fake, and afraid of taking any risk of rejection, that they completely fake their own personalities and agree with everyone else in their chosen group. And they are so afraid of being shunned, they won't even associate with someone who does not go along with their group. This is herd mentality. And they seem normal, because they are just like everyone else in their group.

The way I see it, better to have true friends who are also rejected by society, than to just go along with the group and be liked for someone whom you are not. The important thing is that your friends are good people. People with shared values, that you care for.

Once I stopped trying to impress everyone so much and started being myself, I actually made some good friends. They are weird, but so am I. And they were looking for friends just like I was. That's not to say, learning social norms is a bad thing. In fact, it's very useful for things like interviews and parties you are forced to go to, times when you just want to blend in. It's just that real friends, are the ones that will accept you even when you are not conforming to expectations.

Mitrovah, I think you and I must be on the same page. I am feeling the exact same way these days. And I have very few friends as a result.