I am a very intelligent person.
my entire life people have been telling me how much potential I have, usually by telling me how I am not living up to it.
I am also a very lazy person. I procrastinate, I forget things. I don't study. I have progressed as far as I have simply by coasting. never satisfyed with my output, but never doing anything about it.
WHY!! !!
Since coming to college, I feel like socially I have grown and matured in leaps and bounds beyond anything I could possibly have achieved back home. but my work ethic hasn't budged since 5th grade.
but worst of all is probably that I already know how to solve my problems, and still they don't get solved.
In order to wake up early I need to get to bed at a decent hour. but I don't
In order to get better grades on tests I need to study and pay attention in class. but I don't
In order to get assignments done in a timely manner I have to not procrastinate. but I do anyway.
I feel trapped in a cage of my own logic until my head feels like its going to explode from sheer cognitive dissonance.
In one corner of my head is some self placation meant to help me believe that whats happening to me isn't my own fault, and in the other corner is my dad's voice, telling me that I know the truth. and I do.
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What is learning? Its paying attention. its opening yourself up to this great big ball of****that we call life! And whats the worst that could happen? You get bit in the ass! Well let me tell you, My ass looks like hamburger meat,But I can still sit down!
05 Aug 2014, 11:31 pm
