Prettier people don't get bullied as much...?

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I KNOW this is going to sound really conceited and egotistical, but this has been on my mind for a long time. I don't mean to make this about me or anything.

I'm not that bad looking, even kind of attractive. I was often bullied in school, until I began wearing make-up and wearing nicer, more expensive clothing. I would still be the same person and do the same things like talking non-stop about my interests or making the wrong facial expressions, but I think that once I was considered "attractive," people stopped bullying me.

Now, they are nicer and say I'm "weird, but in a good way!! !!" instead of just...weird. People aren't so in my face about all the autistic things I do. So, is it true that attractive people "have it easier?"

If you are a female, probably yes. Not so much for males.

Generally, yes. Not the best source, I know, but South Park had an episode of this very topic, and can "explain" better than I can. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_List_(South_Park)

I'm also pretty guilty of this phenomena, unless the girls are mean. Then I insult them.

Such a statement is complicated by context. There are also many factors that play into whether someone is bullied or not even exceptionally attractive people can be bullied it depends on the situation, the culture, religion and of course personal history of those involved.

As time has proven physical appearance to be advantageous in your situation I would use it to your advantage.

I lived a similar life "at seventeen."

It's pretty much fact at this point that good-looking people receive forms of preferential treatment. The Halo Effect is one way.

"At seventeen" was a big hit for Janis Ian in 1975.

Yeah, "At Seventeen" could be a life story for me and DH both. We are both looking at a lot of people who laughed at us, for whom payment has come due and the bill definitely exceeds what was received at seventeen. Sad cases, all-- and some of them have learned enough that I wish we had the time and resources to bail them out (since we've done much better than what was predicted for an undiagnosed ADHD kid and his abrasive ASD wife at 17).

I don't know how much it has to do with "prettier," and how much it has to do with "more familiar and 'like-me'."

I suspect it has less to do with the former, and more to do with the latter. They are concerned with brand names and make-up; if you too are concerned with brand names and make-up, you now have common ground. You have moved out of the category of "other" and into (or at least closer to) the category of "like-me."

I base this, in part, on a regrettable social experiment I conducted at 13 or 14. Having been bullied all through school, and knowing that I was moving and getting a more or less blank slate at the end of eighth grade, I decided to experiment with different ways to be. I forced myself to quit sucking my thumb and found some less obtrusive stims (good choice). I started going to the bathroom and beating the s**t out of myself until I conditioned myself against crying at the wrong times (good goal, piss-poor methodology). I found some other kid even lower on the social ladder than me, someone else that the popular kids liked to kick, and started hounding him mercilessly (stupid, nasty, foul, bad choice that I regret to this day, and if I ever find that kid again I am going to apologize profusely).

The first two things gave them less to crawl all over me about...

...but the third one actually got me, not exactly friends, but pleasant and positive attention. Suddenly the "cool kids" would chat with me. I didn't look any different (same hair, same clothes, same lack of make-up). But I did something they did and appeared to think something they thought, which moved me out of "other" and into "like-me." Sick and sad (and thankfully it only lasted for a few weeks before I looked in the mirror and realized that I didn't want the acceptance of people I didn't even like at the cost of becoming someone I didn't like), but so it was.

NOW. That doesn't mean that buying some "better" clothes and putting on some make-up is inherently a bad thing. Unless you're spending money that you/your folks don't have or don't want to give or forcing yourself to do something you find abhorrent, it isn't bad at all. It also doesn't mean that they aren't "real friends." I didn't check your age (though I'm assuming from the post that you're on the south side of 25), but I'd say that friends you get by putting on make-up and dressing "better" are probably roughly close to being as "real" as most of the friends one manages to come up with in adolescence.

I'm glad you've managed to find some acceptance and get some people off your back.

From the other side of the chasm, though, do yourself a future favor. Don't scorn the "brown-eyed girl in hand-me-downs whose name you never could pronounce." Don't forget the plain kids, the strange kids, the downright weird kids, the dorky kids, and the 'Special Eddies'. Because the world you'll be looking at when you're 29 is much, much different from the world you're staring down at 19.

I know the fat kids, the welfare kids, the foster kids, the smelly kids, the kids with weird religions, the terminally dorky kids, and the special ed kids certainly ultimately turned out to be the friends I kept, the man I married, and the people I have sought out (with good reason) and enjoyed the company of later in life.

No difference.

The only thing that affects bullying is physical size.

The more good looking you're the less you get bullied by the opposite gender. I don't know much about how boys see it but if girls see a pretty girl they would feel rivalry and jealousy towards her so they will either bully her or try to make her with them

Attractive males and females are at risk of getting bullied if they lack self-confidence or are too shy be part of the "in-crowd".

However, one amusing memory I have back in high-school was a good looking new kid who just arrived began to hang around with us (I used to be with a group of kids designated losers). I actually witnessed this guy being approached by the football jocks asking him if he plays sport. He said no. One of them asks him but you look like one of us (I'm not kidding) why don't you hang around with us, don't hang around with these losers (my gang).

And miraculously the good looking new kid was made a member of the cool kids and attended parties and was surrounded with girls and never looked back (coincidentally he transformed into a bully within a few weeks). I'm still thinking of making this into a inspirational children's book for physically attractive young males who want to join the cool kids but don't know how (I'm kidding about the book of course).

That is not entirely true, people like to make simple puppets for themselves for self obligations and satisfaction. In other words a majority of people like to pretty themselves up and warp them away in a self word just to get a superficial "high" off of them and once they are older, they throw them away like complete garbage, making them paranoid and vulgar because of the abuse.

It's sometimes better to be average so you can avoid bombs like this.


In other words one way of abuse is often different from another, despite what you see or not. I see this stuff happens all the time. They treat them like trophies and sex objects, have no relief of any form of self clarity.

It does make a difference. Society is VERY superficial. People treat you very differently if you're attractive. I've known both guys and gals who are ridiculously attractive, and have used that to their advantage their whole life. I've seen them make the opposite gender drop to their knees and give in to whatever they wanted, I've seen them get jobs despite having no education. I've seen some people coast through life just by being attractive, had they not been such, I don't see them doing anything with their lives at all. But it's also a double edged sword, why would you want to have people in your life who only value your looks? It seems so fake. (This is not gender exclusive, I'm using an example of both.)

So, yes, they are very much treated differently, but it's not a lock that they'll lead a better life as a result.

As female, and currently soon to be 20 next year....
(Take note that few years ago in this country, it wasn't in K+12 system, but K+10. So HS here was after 6th grade... Therefore, I graduated elementary at 11, started high school at 12 at this narrative)

At my childhood, attractiveness never matter much. XD But it just turns worse if someone is just 'uglier'. Or clumsier in physical sense.
Before I graduated elementary, in a private school; it was my last time someone asked me to choose over someone I'm with; a rather fat, dark girl who has a case of mild MR that I prefer to hang with; over a gang of 'rich girls' who are hilariously in high school level. I choose the former, those girls are jerks, and their boyfriends are a**holes.

At later teens, sure, bullying just lessened at my case, but it's getting annoying whenever I became too noticeable to be invisible. I'm glad I never got in any 'dramas' of relationship and whatever those hormone-addled teens called 'love' before I end up in a crossfire or otherwise.
I'm glad I never end up tangling into one of those 'jealous-girl acts'. I was a much of a loner at those times, but not invisible enough to be overlooked. (the odd-ball part didn't helped more) And when people asked me to choose between people; which BOTH sides I never associated with, I end up in a dilemma and more confusion back when I was a desperate; they both kicked me out afterwards. Since I'm not anymore, I always choose neither because I had enough.

Before I graduate high school or so, it started that whenever get out, there's too many guys randomly calling my attention. -.- My sister usually smiles at them if it's her, while I have a tempting thought of kicking them on the nuts if they're doing so onto me.
At the same timeline, people kept asking me if I already have a boyfriend. I don't have one. I don't WANT one. Why can't they ask someone else?
In general, I never been invisible enough. Even I tried acting NT for a short time. Even I threw people away from me. It's annoying me. And in terms of physical appearance, people choose me over my NT sister, who clearly has this 'charm'-'grace' act thingy that most girls has. (Pose, dress, make up, 'talks'; all of them, I don't have it.)
I kept seeing my sister taking advantage of her physical appearance on her peers, while I remain clueless. People end up mistaken my NT sister as the elder sister because of this.
I don't know if I just call annoyance as harassment. But I wouldn't just call harassment as annoyance.

At hilarious moments, some girls would rather switch bodies with me. If so, I don't really mind.
At most moments, sudden compliments are annoying. Even I'm wearing a simple set of clothing; aside from my usual uniform, people would keep commenting. I don't get it.
At one point, one of my relatives tells me to take advantage of it. I didn't liked the idea. Even if I do, I had no idea how to do so.
My mom always wanted me to join pageant shows, dressing me up, and many more of those. I don't want to; my sister, on the other hand, is willing to join those things. But my mom didn't supported the same way. Since then, my sister thinks I'm the favorite.
And a conversation I end up eavesdropping... A friend of my mom IS aware I'm on the spectrum; she's rather worried to me because of my 'figure'. Because I usually go out alone, I might encounter who knows what; can I say 'nameless desperate bastards who can't control their urges on the street' that someday might grope on me?... Nevermind if I have an odd gait she said; even on with a 'less-stylish' clothes, I end up catching attention she said.

Just earlier today, some guy kept asking me to be my boyfriend. I kept saying 'no'. And as I kept asking 'why', he just said he likes me. But for what reason? XD He doesn't even know me. I never talked to him before. I don't even know his name.
I never get it if he's pulling a prank on me or being serious, but this isn't the first time. If someone asking me to be someone's boyfriend; regardless, I'm dumping them all. XD

In my opinion, on opposite genders? I wonder what happens if there's no sexuality... (I'm not asking the outcome upto the part where humans goes extinct because of lack of incentive; I'm asking if men would still 'like/love' women, or how they see them if there's no sexuality, attraction, or any form of lust, and vise versa.)

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