Back from a date uncomfortable....

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Another Okie (Okcupid date) - keep that label in head.

The date itself was fine; and she wants another on Sunday.

But turned out she broke up with her ex very recently (2 weeks ago) from a 3 years relationship (!), and she kept saying I remind her of her ex (! !).



Bad idea no? Rationally, it is.

Yeah that is not a good sign. Have you decided if you're going out with her again on Sunday?

I was like "umm...yeah, why not?" like the idiot I am back in that moment.

I often analyze things later in isolation.

It's not good.......

......unless it is.

It all depends on whether you remind her in a good way or a bad way.

good way: you remind her of what she liked about him in the first place before things went wrong, the qualities that attracted her

bad way: you remind her of what he was like just before they broke up


Best case scenario is she is just realizing that she has a "type" and both you and he fit it.


It's well worth another date to see where this goes. She might be looking for a man who is similar to what attracted her to him originally. This would be a short term relationship even if it works out because she's on the rebound. But it might be a positive experience anyway.

Or you might have the qualities that are so incompatible with hers that the relationship ended.

Who knows? Go out next Sunday with her and have fun.

^ In a good way.

But still, not a good sign.

That might suggest to me that I need to be cautious about getting too emotionally invested until I see how much baggage she is dragging in from her last relationship. But if otherwise I had a good time and things might hold promise, then I would not automatically rule-out another date.

Rebound relationships have an "iffy" reputation for good reasons. But in the past if I've nothing more promising going on and feel up for a bit of adventure I have allowed things to progress. I have always tried, though, to guard my heart in the event things go awry. Sometimes the result was some heartbreak, sometimes not.

I mean there must have been *some* things she liked about her ex or she wouldn't have been with him at all.

Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it.

Fact: 2 weeks ago she was in a 3 year long relationship. This has "hit it and quit it" written all over it. Do the deed, make her feel good, and disengage.

It isn't good at all. Sure you can hit and quit it, but only if you feel comfortable with that as well. The only scenario in my experience where I reminded someone of their ex... she went back to the ex.

I say go for it, but be expect to feel like a "rebound." It's always possible it's not like that. I don't take relationship advice from those who have never been in one.

Well, she's clearly got him on her mind. That's not surprising since she's just come out of the relationship.
I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, but if she starts making comparisons between you and him, get out.

I made up my mind and cancelled the whole thing.

Reason 1:

While we were chatting and sharing activity pics on Viber today, 90% of her pics were with her ex, in affectionate poses. Like seriously...


Reason 2:

Those are all from her except the last two:




Reason 3:
The 'date' she anticipated tomorrow turned out to be a lunch with her friends too - wanting to introduce me to them; when I asked her how many she said they are her volleyball teammates plus friends, 12 girls and some with their bfs; Yikes! Yikes! Mother of Gawd.... I just knew her yesterday.



That's too much to digest.