Stress. Stress and now this

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My wife and I have been homeless for the better part of three months. We were living in another state near here sister who was between her and her husband helping us out at least with a place to live. That ended in June.

With nowhere else to go we packed up what we could carry in our car and headed back to the state we originally had lived in and have been living in it ever since.

I started applying for anything I could do and finally was offered a job that fit my skill set. So every day we would sleep in our car, I get up and go to where ever I can find to shave and go to work. Baths are only an option when we have enough money to get a motel room which is about once every two weeks.

So I am under this stress of not having a place to live and dealing with the cleanliness issue and doing a pretty good job of hiding it.

As usual all of my technical stuff is always either ahead of schedule or on time and with more than what they ask for. I met with my boss the other day to see how things are going. He said my technical stuff was very acceptable but in meetings people say to him why doesn't he take notes. Well first of all I can barely write due to having had a severe break in my wrist that I write with. Secondly I have a very good memory. I listen and then go back and type what I heard.

Fast forward to last Friday. Boss says they are bringing in another temp to help with the work. There isn't that much to do that I can't handle technically.

In these situations I see it as a competition to save your job and it makes me want to withdraw and be more anti social than I already am.

This is not new as most of my jobs usually last around 3months before something goes wrong. I'm pretty sure that they are bringing in this guy to replace me after I show him what's going on.

Would you disclose your Asperger's to your boss at this point or just let it play out and start looking for another job?

One other thing. Most of the people that work there are young. I'm 59. I just feel like I am fighting a no win situation.

I wouldn't disclose I have Aspergers. I would search for another job--it's easier to get a job if you already have a job. Don't quit this job.

It must be hard not having a home. Does you wife work, too? You could probably shave and wash a little at a gas station. Just buy a potato chips or something. Make yourself inconspicuous.

No wife can't work. Disabled. I'm employed by a temp agency. I make enough to rent a place but scared to. If job ends will be homeless again.

Could this temp job become permanent? Is your wife receiving some sort of disability? How about food stamps.

I'm glad your love is so strong with each other.

Job is "supposed" to be temp to perm but I've been told that before and there was always an excuse. Budget cuts, hired too many, etc. when the real reason is Asperger's.

Wife has had a disability hearing so we will see.

Yes we get food stamps at least fur a couple more months. Cheap ass governor cuts you off after three.

Have an opportunity to work a part time job after my other in the fall. Would require me to work 80 hours a week while my wife us in the car freezing.

Just had to spend $500 on a cat converter so we could run the car when it gets cold and not die if Carbon monoxide poisoning. We live in Maine.

Are on the list for an apartment through govt subsidies but two have fell thru by people not doing their job in a timely manner.

All of Maine gets massively cold in the winter. Are you near Portland or some other city? I'm optimistic that something will happen soon in terms of housing. You've set the ball rolling. The climate might be to your advantage as to the bureaucracy's urgency.

It's hard...but I sense that things will get better soon.

Have you ever tried a truck stop like Pilot? Some have showers and even rooms.

Work: Bring in a pad and hold it in your lap so that other people can't see it. Use your OTHER hand and make marks on it as if you're making notes.

Make yourself so valuable that they will want to keep you on.

It could be that they hired someone else because they had budget money for two people and if they didn't hire another person they would lose the money. If they lost the budget money they wouldn't get it again the next year and might need two people then. Just don't worry about that other person. Probably has nothing to do with you.

And always keep looking for another job in case you need it.

Homelessness situation: Agree about the truck stop. And try to find a room, even if it's just for your wife. You could also start going to a church and ask the church for help. They might know of a room that would let you move in with no down payment. A church could also help her get friends and with daily stuff since she's disabled. You gotta think about her quality of life while you're working.

Another way to help find a place is to start going to AA, NA or...the one for the family of addicts? Alan-on? I had a friend in NA meetings and I went with him a few times. I was taken aback at how strong and NICE the network of people were. They looked out for each other, gave each other jobs, places to live, and were friends. If that's an option you might want to look into it.

If all else fails, put your wife in a shelter while you save up for a room.