gut instinct vs AS logic, in relationships

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For a very long time I have had this gut instinct that things just aren't what I think they are or what I see. It has been many years of me feeling something was off in my life/relationship. Although many have claimed that I am wrong, including my husband, that feeling just doesn't ever really go away. Of course, with an AS mind, I continue to try to put my thinking cap on and figure things out instead of following my gut. I think I do this because growing up I was always told what a bad kid I was, so as time has passed, I trust my gut less. Even today, many who don't really know what I have put up with in my relationship see me as bad and my husband as good. I think he's just a very good manipulative NT in many ways and fooling everyone else too, but then sometimes I think if everyone else says I'm wrong, then I must be wrong...but my gut always brings me back to feeling that I know a truth nobody else does. In fact, the couple of people who actually listened to me when I explained what I have been through, seem to feel in some way that indeed something is off as well, it's the ones who don't know much or the ones who seem to like him more (vulnerable divorced women or women whose husbands don't help them out and are worn out, etc), that see me as crazy and that he's a nice guy. I have tried so many times to see things their way, but out of nowhere, my gut tells me that it's not true at all.

Do you trust your gut instinct when it comes to relationships?

Not a lot of details to go by here, I'm afraid.

Phemto you are right, not a lot of details...

What I meant was not a lot of details in your description to go on. To summarize: "I have this funny feeling, almost no one agrees, a couple people do."

How about some info on the details. Do you suspect he's cheating, that he's gaslighting you, that's he's been replaced by his evil twin, he's a double agent from the illuminati? What?

All flippancy aside. If you have an unfocused sense of unease, that could indicative of an anxiety disorder. I'm not belittling it. Something like that can seriously effect your health and happiness, and it needs to be looked into.

To answer your question, yes I do trust my gut feeling, but I will usually talk things out with someone fairly objective that I trust before taking any kind of action. What is your gut feeling telling you about your husband?

What do you mean by "gut instinct"? Does it conflict with your "thinking" analysis? Is a self-esteem issue - like everybody tells you that you are wrong so your mind thinks they may be right, but your "gut" is a lingering expression of how you truly feel?

It's your life so what a different person would do and how they would feel in exactly the same situation may not be relevant. Have you tried couples counseling? Having a third party in the room can create a balance where your feelings and thoughts are given equal importance your husbands. The counselor is not there to take sides or make judgments, but to facilitate communication.

Can relate to this somewhat, in my own marriage. My gut instinct has told me a long time that something isn't right. I don't tend to follow my gut at all though, instead try to think things through in every possible angle. I read up on every possible bit of information, but not really going forward. Partly because I'm afraid of conflict, of hurting people.

This has made me stay too long in bad situations, not just in my relationships but also regarding bullying, work I don't enjoy etc.

My wife (and her mother) are good at manipulation. I'm now seen as the crazy one, for not being willing to put in the work to make the relationship better. Noone else but me knows what I've been through and how I have experienced it. I'm unsure where to go from here. I wanted more from life than this.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a gut instinct, like it's been wiped out by my mind.

Yes, it's the first thing that I trust, although I do analyse my intuition before carrying out any sort of action.