Sick of this constant exclusion

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I'm sure that many of you people had this disheartening experience. Repeatedly.

I don't have many "friends" to begin with, let alone do stuff with. Normally, I won't mind when they do NT stuff without involving me; I'm not into clubbing and s**t anyways.

But this... had happened too many times already.

I like hiking. I had made that clear to them. Had suggest to do that during holidays (as usual, denied). Annnnd guess what? While I was alone and bored to tears by myself, they done just that. Didn't even bring it up until I asked them what they did during breaks.

And now they ask why I do things on my own. Well, DUH. Because I am constantly excluded. Every f*****g time.

Why the f**k do NTs pretend to be "friends" when in reality, you rank so f*****g low in their list?

They call us insensitive, cold, withdrawn.

There's a reason for that, asshats.

I have a limited supply of give-a-fucks. And when my constant attempts of friendliness and caring are met with shrugging, well excuse me if I decide to be f*****g moody.

If you're asking to do stuff with them and they're begging off and doing the exact same thing with each other but without you, clearly, they're not really your friends. It's time to find a new crowd.

Exactly! If they ain't including you, then they don't deserve to be your friends.

Real friends always include everybody in the group, and they don't call you insensitive, cold and withdrawn. They accept your differences, they care about you, and they help you off the ground when you fall.

It is obvious that those people aren't real friends. If they are not including you, than it's not your problem, it's theirs.

Now don't go saying they have a problem, just go find someone else.

They never said that I was insensitive etc (that's from general people + a closer friend; she was just checking whether I was feeling alright).

Anyways, one contributing factor may easily be the fact that I am very often not in the same page. Not surprising, as I am still utter clueless at the whole "friendship" thing. It could be that I view them as "friends", while I am simply an acquaintance to them.

After the utter lack of responses, I am trying to make new "friends" (no more reason to "invest" more attention). But you know how it is. University is just school all over again. Except people are older. Still the same herd mentality.

I f*****g hate my life.

Well, except that there are WAY more people, so the odds of you meeting a few you hit it off with increases significantly. If your school had 60 kids in your graduating class, you could be lovely, 59 others could be lovely and you could just not click with any of 'em (and there'd be nothing wrong w/any of you).

If you can't find a kindred spirit among 50,000 on a college campus, you might be the common denominator.

Did I mention it's the end of year?

And I guess my social anxiety doesn't really help either. I do have a nasty tendency to flee from crowds.

I mean, I do join up in clubs, and I have friendly interactions with random strangers. Don't see them often, but still friendly (politeness?!). But I don't know why I don't... connect. It has improved, but, for example, I still have problems even with remembering people's names (not their appearances).

Maybe I am just socially incompetent to the point that some people want to be friends, but it goes right over my head...

Do you actually want friends? Do you enjoy other people's company? Some don't, there's nuttin' wrong with that.

University has zillions more people than high school - a far bigger pool in which to find compatible fish.

While I certainly lean towards being an introvert, I do enjoy people's company, even if it's just a short period of time (I get mentally tired easily in those situations). I understand what you are getting at: some of us try to act "NT" even if it is an affront to their goals. I've learnt to stop doing that a long time ago.

Many things I enjoy doing are somewhat social, cannot be done alone. A bonus if someone I interact often joins me.

Also, maybe it's also the change of routine. I used to share classes and meet up with people, the "not mutual friends" included. Now, I am alone, in strange classes full of strangers, unfamiliar faces and smells.

In any event, any attempts at socializing will have to be put on hold until next year, as I am leaving for "holiday" AKA a different type of hell. At least my family and dogs will be there for me...