Social success

Post Reply New Topic

Im Aspie and notice all the others have ambitions, want success and social recognition, like earning lot of money, have a high hierachic position in a company, get promoted, show a nice car or jewels, be proud of things.

I have NEVER had these kind of ambitions and it is a source of integration problem for me.

To give an example, even when I won a medal in Gymnastic (I didn't do on purpose), I gave it back saying: "no thank you" and "it is useless" (now I know: not good to say that...) I always escape all social recognitions, it has no meaning for me but it seams so vital for others.

I would like to know if this is a common trait by Aspies / if yes, how they deal with it.

Even though you did intentionally win the medal it was a recognition of your gymnastic accomplishments. Social recognition might have happened because you won the medal but that is not why you won it.

I have some of this, but near as much as most NT's I've come across. I will say that I tried very hard to be successful in selling my art, but it didn't work. I found this very disappointing, and it made me feel low self esteem for a while, but eventually I have come to expect this. I think the lack of success was only partly due to my AS. It was also due to the fact that I have no connections, and art is such a luxury item and the economy sucks at this time.

I relate to you OP. I was born with disabilities in addition to my Aspergers that make it hard for me to achieve success & I've always been in my own world.

Yes I did. But I changed it for security purposes. At any rate I will be showing lots of my art on my blog. I hear Van Gogh never sold a single painting while he was on this earth. Thank you for your kind support.

I think it is simply a matter of what you value, and what effort you have to put forth.

For instance, when I was in school I was often recognized for academic achievement. However, since I put no effort into doing well it was meaningless when I was recognized for doing well.

Similarly, in my high school class I was voted most talented (there were only 80 of us). Senior year I wanted so badly to win the English Award because I was trying so hard with my creative writing. I won the Art Award instead and my friend won the English Award. I didn't really care about the Art Award because I didn't feel like my art was particularly all that good. My writing, on the other hand, was very important to me.

So I was recognized, but for something that really didn't take a lot of effort. I am pretty much indifferent when people recognize me for things that I don't think are noteworthy.

Maybe that's similar to your situation.

I'm a bit frightened of the idea of getting approval, because I know what its like to go a long time without others approval particularly from peers.

I would say that approval is the way society functions, you can't simply ignore that because of your own personal feelings, I say go through the motions even if you don't feel it authentically.