Anxiety article

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While I agree with the concept, I personally don't like the tone of this article. Can't decide whether I am just being the anxious a$$$#@!@%, or if the person writing it is just exceptionally snarky and it sits wrong with me. Thoughts and discussion?

http://chronicpainsolutions.org/your-an ... n-asshole/

That was no article. That was just a snarky rant.

Ignore it.

Yeah. While i agree with the concept that we are not allowed to be jerks just because of autism, anxiety, or whatever our issues are...this was just being snarky and their definition of being a jerk seemed to be anybody remotely antisocial. Antisocial does not equal "a$$."

I have been accused of being a "negative person" (i believe that is why one SIL basically cut me out of her life) but if you talk to others who know me well and have some understanding of the neurology i live with, they will say i have a very positive outlook given the challenges i have. (Not trying to throw a pity party here, just a statement of fact). The person who wrote this "article" would probably have thrown me under the bus without trying to understand...because they "have a diagnosed anxiety disorder" and "are not a jerk even with said disorder."

It was something shared on facebook. Sometimes i see good stuff there, but more often the snarky rants. I guess, as a general rule, the people who have the neurology to put this stuff on facebook are not the ones who are going to understand me.

Who in the heck wants to be a jerk, anyway.

Being a jerk all the time is BORING!

I don't care that autistic people are "not allowed to be jerks." Because being a jerk is ridiculous.

I think this person has some valid points. And yes, her tone is rather self righteous and preachy and judgmental. I don't like her tone, either. It sounds like she has some anger and resentment that is coming through in this article.

That said, I myself have anxiety disorder, in addition to ASD, but I am seldom a jerk. When I am a jerk, I try to remember to apologize to the person. I don't think that there is always a positive correlation between being anxious and an a**hole. I've known a significant number of a**holes who were just narcissistic, selfish, entitled, overconfident people, actually. In my opinion, many, if not most, anxious people are in fact very nice and anxious to please and accommodate others.

I think she had an ax to grind.

I've not read anything that anyone else has to deal with my BS. One can be toxic and not know it though, but that has nothing to do with other people being toxic for you.

This article mainly seems to be making one HUGE assumption in that eating right and exercise are the cure for all anxiety. I hate that. Hate it so damned much because it's BS.

I think the view that "eating right and exercise will cure anxiety" is a view espoused by those who don't deal with an innate neurology that causes anxiety. I do think there are people (probably NTs but i could be wrong on that) who do burn themselves out with circumstances outside of themselves--and when they fix those circumstances--such as eating right, exercise, cutting back on the busyness of life--their anxiety is greatly improved.

But that does nothing for those of us whose anxiety is rooted in neurology. I can be doing everything right, having no outside anxiety triggers that i can think of...and terribly anxious to the point i can barely function. Does taking care of myself help? Of course it does. But it is not a fix and that preachy self-righteous thing rubbed me the wrong way. But it is stupid crap like this "article" that people take seriously that perpetrates the view that those who are anxious are, of course, doing something wrong...and if they would only do the right stuff their anxiety would go away. Therefore, if you are anxious and antisocial, it is your own fault and the rest of the world should stay away from you because you are toxic. Total BS.

Sounds like the person who wrote the article was/is themselves toxic and realized it at some point.

Anxiety does not by itself make a person toxic, but the author seems to think it does. I would hazard that what makes this person toxic is still there in them, hence such a judgemental article, but because their anxiety is less they fit in better with people/have fewer social issues, and so have fewer innate judgements about others.

I actually agree with what she is saying. I do think anxiety can make us be toxic and abusers. I know we should take responsibility for ourselves when we treat people poorly during our anxiety and I do try harder at controlling it next time and I try to avoid things that cause my anxiety. I would take pills but my insurance won't cover them and I don't want to pay lot of money on pills and go paycheck to paycheck and I have no idea how much they would cost. What relaxes me, computer. I could join a gym but I have kids and it costs money every month. But I have to be honest with myself, I am just lazy to do work outs or to bother walking out in cold and nasty weather unless I have to. I also don't do diets because it's too much work and stressful. So my way of dealing with it is to avoid situations that cause it because I don't like having it and I do try and control it by holding it all in and trying to stay calm.

And if you are not able to follow through, don't make promises or plans. Be honest and direct and don't tell them you will make it or come or do it if you are not sure. If you are not sure, just say so. Don't expect everyone to wait on you and just let them go ahead without you and you will try and catch up. Don't offer to do things for someone if you are not willing to do it.

I do think she sounded angry though in her article and she seems to think everyone is affected by anxiety the same way and that every one of her solutions will work. What if someone can't join a gym? What if they have a disability that keeps them from doing any sorts of work outs? What if they live in a apartment above someone? What if work outs won't fit in with their life because of kids and work? What if someone doesn't have the money for a diet plan? What if they have no way of sticking to a diet because they have no car? But overall I do agree with her points she makes.