Finding a life long partner as an asexual aspie

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So I am an aspie who identifies as asexual in the LGBTQIA alphabet soup. I have never had any sexual urges toward anybody ever. I can make great friendships socially and intellectually, but I don't want to be alone my entire life living wise. All my friends say they wish they were asexual and didn't get those feelings, but they shouldn't because they can have the average human relationship, I can't. I just went to Florida to meet a fellow aspie guy for the first time that I met on an autistic dating site. We had been skyping for months before the trip and I even thought for his sake I could eventually do the deed with him. Well it turns out I am touch adverse to him all together. My sensory system picks the oddest people to be touch adverse to. Believe it not I'm touch adverse to my own grandmother, but I could run up and hug any of my friends at school no problem. When I first got back to his apartment I tried laying in his bed with him, which I thought I would enjoy, and he started kissing me. It was so uncomfortable for me, but I thought I'd stick it out to see if things would change. Later in the week he would put his arm around me and it was still uncomfortable and awkward, almost anxiety inducing for me. The trip was meant to test whether a full time further relationship was viable and unfortunately we both decided that with my sensory issues, even though he understood and didn't mind, that a more than friends relationship was not possible. I figured out I'm trying to be someone I'm not to fit societal norms and I'm not going to do that again. I am asexual and proud of it. I will not do the deed ever even if it would be to make someone I love happy. But will I be able to ever find a platonic relationship? I know there are other asexuals out there, but where do I find them? Is anyone on this site a fellow asexual who is having the same type of problems? Are you asexual and have found your life long platonic partner, If so tell me your story.

That's a tough issue. I'm asexual, and I'm married to somebody that more or less is too. Problem is, when we got together, none of us knew about asexuality, so it was just a coincidence (or at least, it appears to be).

For me, having a crush is very important because that marks the difference between a friendship and a relationship. I also prefer long and complex "courtship", and that works well with asexuality because it selects out people that require instant or frequent sex. They will simply not wait for months for physical contact, and will lose interest.

So I'd say that take your time to get to know people, and make sure there is mutual romantic interest. Being Aspie, of course, is no guarantee for being compatible for somebody that is asexual, even if it is more common among Aspies to be asexual.

An additional problem for asexual girls is that it appears that twice as many neurodiverse girls as guys identifies as asexual. This is probably biased by cultural views because there really is no reason why asexuality would be more common among girls than guys. Still, if you look only for guys that actively identify as asexual, then there will be an unfavorable gender bias.

I found someone compatible on www.ace-book.net. Unfortunately she lives in another country on the other side of the world. She plans to eventually move to the US, but it's a big commitment (since marriage will be required for her to obtain a green card and live here indefinitely).

When initially started trying to date only asexuals that lived near me it never really worked out. It was such a small pool and I was never romantically compatible. To have romantic feelings I need someone warm and affectionate and I had trouble finding that for the longest time. I found many asexual women were just too stand-offish for me.

It's hard because there's such a variation within the group of people who identify as asexual. Just because two people are asexual, doesn't mean they will be compatible. If you really want to find a soul-mate you may have to look long-distance, even out of the country. It's hard.

I'm sort of on the asexuality spectrum in that I don't really get sexual attraction except maybe if I experience strong romantic attraction. I used an aSexual dating & friendship site for awhile called ace-book.net